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Relationship Dynamics

4 Newlywed Assumptions to Leave at the Door

4 Newlywed Assumptions to Leave at the Door

By Premarital, Relationship Dynamics2 Comments

As newlyweds, you probably have lots of ideas of what your marriage will look like. Maybe you have certain expectations about the way holidays will look or how you’ll run your household. Perhaps you think you know the areas on which you agree and the things you’re still figuring out. The reality is, many newlyweds carry sneaky assumptions with them as they cross the threshold into married life. Often, these assumptions are at odds with reality – and the result is conflict that catches couples off-guard. If you want to avoid the common newlywed arguments, here are 4 assumptions to leave at the door: Read More

Annoyance - Your problem or mine?

Annoyance: Your Problem or Mine?

By Conflict, Relationship Dynamics2 Comments

Everyone gets annoyed with their spouse from time to time. It’s a normal part of marriage, and any close relationship, really. Typically, the annoyance is minor, a blip here or there that usually doesn’t last too long. But every so often, the irritation strikes a bit deeper or lasts a bit longer. The result is a fight, an interaction you regret, distance, disconnection, or resentment. Needless to say, it’s not something you want to become a regular dynamic in your marriage. So what do you do? Is it up to your spouse to stop annoying you? Not quite. Let’s explore. Read More

4 Areas of Good Tension in Marriage

4 Areas of Good Tension in Marriage

By Relationship Dynamics4 Comments

“Tension” often has a negative connotation. Whether it’s cringing your way through an awkward moment, walking on eggshells around unresolved conflict, or trying to hold it together in the midst of a high-stress or crisis situation, most people don’t want to be in a state of tension for too long.

But here’s the thing – there’s good tension, too. Read More

4 Questions to Clear Your Marriage Clutter

4 Questions to Clear Your Marriage Clutter

By Relationship DynamicsOne Comment

Does clutter drive you nuts or do you not really notice it? A few knick-knacks here, some dirty dishes there, kids’ toys everywhere. If being surrounded by clutter makes you feel a little mentally frazzled, you might not be imagining it. In fact, research has found that excessive clutter can have a negative effect on your ability to focus and process information, as well as on your self-esteem and mood.

Now consider this: Can your marriage have clutter? And if so, what effect might it have on your relationship? Read More

Be Great Teammates This Holiday Season

Be Great Teammates This Holiday Season

By Relationship Dynamics, Resilience2 Comments

It’s that time of year again, when we find ourselves staring at the calendar in bewilderment. How have the month’s flown by so fast? Is the holiday season really around the corner already?!

While it’s a favorite time of year for many, it’s also a season that brings lots of baggage along with it. Difficult emotions and negative experiences can ride right alongside the positive ones. It can be a lot to navigate individually, let alone as a couple or family. Fortunately, you can avoid letting the holidays strain your marriage. Here’s how you and your spouse can be good teammates throughout the season: Read More

Have You Outkicked Your Coverage?

Have You Outkicked Your Coverage?

By Relationship DynamicsOne Comment

If you’re a football fan, you’re probably excited that a new season is upon us. If you’re not, you could be anywhere from apathetic to annoyed to completely unaware. Either way, we’ll cut to the chase – this post is not really about football. But it is about a figure of speech that originates from football: outkicking your coverage. Have you heard this phrase used in the context of relationships?

If you haven’t, it’s typically used to insinuate that a person’s spouse is more attractive or desirable than they are. Alternatives are (for some reason) similarly sports-themed – out of your league or batting above your average are common ones. The truth is, it’s not usually very helpful to judge or speculate about the dynamics of others’ relationships, although sometimes it can help us reflect on our own. So let’s take that road instead. Read More

Bonus Marriage Compatibility Points

Bonus Marriage Compatibility Points

By Relationship Dynamics3 Comments

What are the most important things to agree on in marriage? Typically you’re going to consider things like your values and beliefs, overall meshing of your personalities, and the general picture of what you want your future to look like – whether that includes a big family, career aspirations, living in a small town or a big city, etc. If you and your spouse differ significantly on these topics, it’s going to be difficult to plan a life together – to say the least.

But if you’re aligned on these big things, does that mean it’s all smooth sailing? Eh, not quite. You and your spouse will probably still disagree, albeit on things with lower stakes. That got us thinking…

What are those things that you definitely don’t have to agree on, but that just might make day-to-day life a whole lot easier if you did? Consider them sort of like bonus compatibility points in marriage. Let’s explore some examples. Read More