We often talk about appreciating the little things – the sound of your kids laughing, your favorite comfort meal, or a hug from your spouse after a long day. What’s harder to notice? The small things we pass by when our sights are set on something bigger. A rainbow is beautiful, but what if there was a pot of gold at the end of it? Would you still take time to appreciate the colorful path leading up to the treasure?
Marriage is a work in progress. Ideally, you and your spouse are continuously working to keep your relationship strong, growing together both as individuals and as a couple. Striving to be your best is admirable, but are you acknowledging the small markers of progress along the way? Let’s explore some examples and why it’s important.
Household management
Keeping your household running smoothly can feel like trial and error. Things might be working well in one area, while issues pop up in others. This might result in one or both of you deciding it’s time to try a new way of doing things. Let’s say the laundry situation at your house feels inefficient and never-ending. Clean clothes never get put away in a timely manner, dirty stuff is scattered throughout the house, and there’s no rhyme or reason to when laundry gets done. You and your spouse agree to try a new system, which will require mindful effort from both of you. A few days into the trial run, you notice your spouse doing their best to incorporate some of the changes you talked about. You could say nothing. Or you could make a point to acknowledge their effort – that you see it and appreciate that they’re trying their best, especially if you know it’s not their typical way. Now think about if the tables were turned, with your spouse providing meaningful acknowledgement of your effort. It feels good, right? You may not have completely solved the laundry problem, but you’re working as a team to get there – that deserves recognition.
Working on your relationship
Imagine you’ve been feeling a little disconnected from each other lately. After a good discussion, you decide you want to work harder at sharing emotions and having conversations that go deeper than just practical logistics. Soon after, you notice your spouse asking you more inquisitive questions and seeming more emotionally present when you’re spending time together. In addition to reciprocating the effort, you can let them know how much it means that they’re invested in your marriage and showing that through their actions. This type of relationship work is ongoing throughout your marriage. While you’ll have seasons when things are going great, there’s not really an end point – making acknowledgement of progress along the way all the more important.
Goals
Whether you’re on a personal mission to improve your health, are saving money for a new car, or you’re working toward the next big step in your career, there’s a good chance you’re working to reach a goal in some area of your life. Achieving what you set out to do is no walk in the park. Most of the time, it requires persistence and discipline, and you’ll probably hit some roadblocks along the way. Maybe it’s logging a new personal best while training for a marathon or hitting a certain amount of money saved. While these might not be your end goal, taking a moment to celebrate reaching mini goals or markers of progress along the way has a way of buoying you along when you’re struggling. It’s gives you a little boost of motivation to keep going.
We can’t deny that it’s exhilarating and satisfying to reach a goal. But the truth is, the time you spend “in progress” typically outweighs the time you spend at the finish line, so why not appreciate the scenic overlooks along the way? When it comes to your marriage, acknowledging these small steps shows you see and appreciate each other’s effort and reinforces your team mentality. Leaning into this positive perspective sparks gratitude and bolsters resilience, helping you weather the hard times and making the good times all the more sweet.
