The period of engagement through the first year or two of marriage is quite a ride. You and your spouse – and your relationship – go through a lot of changes and transitions. Leading up to the wedding, you might feel overwhelmed with questions and decisions, not just about the big day, but for your future together. Once you’re married, new challenges arise, new issues develop, and new conflicts erupt (or existing ones take on a new dimension). While you can never fully know what this period will be like for you and your new spouse, you can be prepared so that you’re not completely caught off guard when that honeymoon feeling starts to fade just a bit. Luckily, this newlywed guide has you covered. Read More
Marriage often seems to mark the start of your lives together. And yet, you had a life together before you were married, too. The milestones you went through when you were dating or engaged can lose a bit of their color with the passage of time and the start of a shiny new chapter of life. However, they are just as important to your story because they got you to where you are now. Here are the premarital milestones to appreciate even after you’re married. Read More
How do you celebrate your wedding anniversary? Whether you go big or keep it low-key, an anniversary is something to take pride in. It’s a great opportunity to reflect on the past year together in the context of your relationship. One way to make this a meaningful tradition is to ask each other these questions every year. (Consider jotting down your answers in a notebook or journal that you can look back on later!) Read More
Have you recently started premarital counseling or are you getting ready to? Are you still considering whether it’s something you should do? Whether you’re being required to complete premarital through you church or you’re seeking it out on your own, there’s one thing you need to know: you’ll get out of it what you put into it. Here’s how to get the most out of premarital counseling. Read More
Newlyweds arguing. Does that seem like an oxymoron? While it might depend on how long you define the newlywed period, we usually associate newlyweds with the honeymoon phase – that blissful time after the wedding when everything seems carefree and happy. You see each other as pretty much perfect, and hearts float around you as you gaze at each other adoringly.
Okay, that might be a bit cliché – and not very realistic. The truth is, the first years of marriage are often quite challenging. As you start your life together and continue to get to know all of the different facets of each other, new issues pop up that may not have had the opportunity to reveal themselves before. Here are four common topics you might argue about as newlyweds. Read More
Have you heard of marriage mentors? They’re often part of premarital programs in churches or other couple-focused organizations. You may have worked with a marriage mentor couple yourself and experienced the benefits firsthand.
Marriage mentors are pretty much what they sound like: mentors for your marriage. Also called “mentor couples,” marriage mentors are couples who’ve been married long enough to have experience and perspective when it comes to the ups and downs of marriage. They provide support, encouragement, and guidance to engaged or newlywed couples. If you serve as a marriage mentor couple already, thank you for giving your time and experience to this important work!
There are some misconceptions about marriage mentors. It might seem like they need to have a perfect marriage and be experts on relationships, but that’s simply not the case. It turns out, the best mentors often have these surprising traits: Read More
Did you take a relationship assessment before you got married? For many of you, the answer is (hopefully) yes. Have you taken one since? The odds are less likely.
We understand – a lot of that pre-wedding stuff can feel like boxes to be checked off before the big day. If that resonates with you, we challenge and encourage you to think of it as the start of a journey together, and in that vein, the assessment as a tool to help you take stock of things along that journey. Yes, that means taking an assessment throughout your marriage.
Need more convincing? Here are five reasons you should say keep saying yes to assess(ment): Read More
We know we learn through observing others – this is natural human behavior. Previously on the blog, we’ve talked about what marriage lessons we learn from our families – either as a young kid or even into our adulthood when we’re so kindly given those one-liner pieces of advice from family members. Thinking about those lessons, we encouraged you to consider what things you carry forward and strive to live up to in your marriage and relationships, as what you’d rather leave behind. Your family has good intentions, but they’re likely not all marriage experts.
What happens when you flip the question, to ask not about what you learned, but what can you teach others?
My brother recently got married. During the reception, they played the game where the bride and groom sit in chairs back to back. They each hold one of their own shoes and one of their spouse’s shoes in each hand. The DJ then reads off a series of questions, such as, “Who is the better driver?” or “Who is a night owl?”, and the newlyweds raise the shoe of whomever they think the answer is. It’s entertaining to see how similarly (or not) the couple responds!
One of the questions for my brother and his new wife was, “Who has the crazier family?”
Wedding season is in full swing right now, or at least it would be during a normal year. The reality is, even if you don’t have to cancel or postpone your big day, there’s a chance that things might look different than you envisioned. Feeling disappointment and sense of grief is normal and valid. We understand all the planning and resources that go into these momentous events! But we also want to encourage you to keep your eye on the prize – a long, happy marriage.
Here are four challenges you might be facing for your 2020 wedding – and how they might actually be an opportunity to strengthen your marriage in the long run.