Some say the key to avoiding disappointment is to keep your expectations low. Some even go so far as to say just don’t have any expectations at all. In some cases, this might work. Maybe your spirits have been crushed by your favorite sports team too many times to count, and you can’t simply invest any more emotional energy into getting your hopes up. Or perhaps you avoid reading any reviews of a movie you’ve wanted to see so that your own reaction isn’t swayed by your expectations.

When it comes to relationships, however, having expectations can be healthy. They help to set a standard for what is or isn’t acceptable and provide a baseline for holding yourself and each other accountable. They have the potential to push us to be a better partner and to grow as a couple.

You could say there’s a sweet spot for expectations in marriage, a balance between aspirational and attainable. Unfortunately, getting into this “zone” doesn’t always happen naturally. Sometimes it can seem like you’re both doing everything you should be, but there’s still a gap between expectations and reality. How can you bridge this gap? Let’s explore. Read More