Pitching in, donating your time, volunteering, serving others. It goes by many names, but one thing is certain: giving back is not only great at an individual level, it’s also an amazing experience you can share with your partner. Beyond the obvious benefit of doing something good for others or for your community, there are many other positives as well. It gives you a chance to reaffirm your shared values, fill your cups through a meaningful activity, and strengthen your bond as a couple. Here are four ways to give back while growing closer as a couple.
1. Become marriage mentors.
Marriage mentors – or mentor couples – are couples who’ve been married long enough to have experience and perspective when it comes to the ups and downs of marriage. They’re often part of premarital programs in churches or other couple-focused organizations where they provide support, encouragement, and guidance to engaged or newlywed couples. You may have worked with a mentor couple yourself and experienced these benefits firsthand! But the positive effects don’t just go one way – they are reciprocal! As a mentor couple, you’ll likely find that your own relationship benefits from the experience of mentoring others. You’ll gain insight and optimism from the couples you work with, and have opportunities to reflect on and discuss things you might not have otherwise. The learning goes both ways, and because of this, it’s a great way to serve others while serving your marriage as well.
2. Lean into your spirituality.
Faith communities are often a great starting point if you’re looking for a variety of ways to volunteer and serve. And if your spirituality is a significant part of your marriage, then it’s a wonderful way to nurture this aspect of your relationship as well. You might look into becoming mentor couples as mentioned above or help organize clothing or food drives. Maybe you start leading a small group or teach a Sunday school class together. Whatever you choose, serving together can help deepen your spiritual intimacy, strengthen your bond, and help you feel more satisfied in your marriage.
3. Make a shared interest more meaningful.
Interests and hobbies that you share with your partner are a great source of bonding and connection on their own. Letting your common interests lead you in giving back gives it a whole new level of meaning. Are you both book lovers? Consider organizing book drives or Little Free Libraries throughout your community. Share a passion for gardening? Grow extra fruits and veggies to donate to families in need. Are you nature lovers? Round up a group of friends for a neighborhood or roadside clean-up day. Incorporating something you’re passionate about into giving back with your spouse is a winning combination all around.
4. Create a tradition.
Traditions and rituals foster a sense of belonging and connection, and they ingrain those warm feelings to stand the test of time. Making a tradition out of giving back as a couple or family amplifies all of these things. Maybe you volunteer at a local shelter every Thanksgiving or you have your kids choose gifts to donate each holiday season. Whatever form it takes, making it an annual or seasonal occurrence is a great way to incorporate generosity into your lives while also helping you feel close and connected.
When it comes to giving back, the whole point is that it’s not about you – it’s about putting your gratitude into action and serving others. But we can’t ignore the fact that when you give back alongside your spouse, it spurs lots of positives in your relationship, too, including strengthening your bond. And that’s just an extra sweet bonus on top what’s already a fulfilling experience.
Those are all great ideals. My husband and I are now working through your program together to mentor others. It has helped the entire extended family with their relationships and family growth in an emotionally mature way ✨️.