Compromise can sometimes get a bad rap. In some contexts it can mean neither side is really getting what they want. In others it can mean settling for less than the ideal. But in the context of relationships, compromise is crucial. When done well, it can be a productive tool to rely on when you and your partner are dealing with disagreement. Here are some essentials for a winning compromise: Read More
“…and they lived happily ever after.”
We’ve all heard these feel-good words, whether we remember them from our childhood or read them to our own children every night. As adults, we chuckle, knowing they’re no more realistic than the talking animals and magic spells that fill the storybook pages before them. Despite knowing this logically, there might be a part of us that thinks, “But wouldn’t happily ever after be nice?”
Well, sure, maybe if you’re a two dimensional character in a fairytale. But for complex people in real life marriages, happily ever after is overrated. Here’s why: Read More
Did you take a relationship assessment before you got married? For many of you, the answer is (hopefully) yes. Have you taken one since? The odds are less likely.
We understand – a lot of that pre-wedding stuff can feel like boxes to be checked off before the big day. If that resonates with you, we challenge and encourage you to think of it as the start of a journey together, and in that vein, the assessment as a tool to help you take stock of things along that journey. Yes, that means taking an assessment throughout your marriage.
Need more convincing? Here are five reasons you should say keep saying yes to assess(ment): Read More
Some people are natural empaths. They feel what others are feeling without even trying, even people they’ve just met. Most of us have to work at empathy a little more intentionally, even with someone as close to us as our spouse. Research has shown that reminding people what empathy is can actually help them be more empathetic. So as a review for those of us who are not natural empaths, empathy is understanding or feeling what another person is experiencing from within their frame of reference – or in other words, putting yourself in their shoes.
Seeing things from your partner’s frame of reference increases your connection and does wonders for the way you communicate. Here are three scenarios that show how empathy can have a profoundly positive effect on your relationship: Read More
Self-awareness, or mindfulness, is a buzzword lately. If it evokes images of someone meditating on a mountaintop or something to that effect, you’re probably not alone. While it is, in fact, about getting in touch with your core self, it isn’t only for people who meditate on mountaintops. Self-awareness is crucial for everyone – and here’s why.
Are you even listening to me?!
Have you ever been on the receiving end of this question? It’s not a great feeling. You might feel like you’re justifiably getting called out or you might get a little indignant because you were actually listening! Whatever the case, something is missing when it comes to your active listening, which is foundational to good communication.
Here are five tips to make sure your partner feels heard:
Believe it or not, our social lives can be a source of conflict. One partner needs more social interaction, while the other prefers much less. One person thinks the party is on Friday, but the other person is certain they told you Saturday. Throw in limited free time, kids, and other various circumstances, and things can turn into a mess pretty quickly.
One of the keys to navigating this challenge is obvious, but oh so important: clear and honest communication. Here are five things to make sure you’re talking about.
Ah, spring. Those first few warm days where people feel the urge to open the windows, dust away the cobwebs, and deep clean the grime that has accumulated over the winter. Relationships can benefit from a regular “clean up” as well, or in this context it could be more of a “check in.” Whether it’s once a year on your anniversary or as often as a weekly or monthly date night, make a point to touch base with each other on the state of your relationship. Here are some things you might have on your task list:
Growing is part of life. Physically, mentally, emotionally, socially, spiritually, you name it – we grow in so many ways throughout our lives. The thing about growing, though, is that there isn’t a shortcut. We usually can’t skip over the hard, uncomfortable, or awkward parts even though we’d sometimes like to (middle school flashbacks – yikes). Even though it might not seem like it at the time, those stages are valuable. We learn a lot from them, often gaining experience and insight that helps us down the road. Through this, we also gain the confidence to stretch the boundaries of our current state, growing as we tackle the next step.
It’s not entirely surprising then, that our confidence and motivation can take a hit when our “next step” is too big. Sometimes we go for it and fall, and we say, “Okay, not trying that again anytime soon!” Sometimes we just can’t even fathom how we’ll make it, so we don’t even try.
Have you ever experienced this? How about in your relationship?
Has anyone ever asked you for relationship advice? How did you respond?
Chances are, we’ll experience this in some form or another in our lives. Maybe it’s a good friend seeking your input, a younger sibling looking for guidance, or a coworker venting about their significant other. Whatever the situation, you’ll have a choice of how to respond. That response, and the ease with which you give it, depends a lot on the context of your relationship with that person, as well as your own relationship experience. Your comfort level could range from “Argh, I don’t know what to say,” to “TMI alert!”
No matter where you fall on this spectrum, here are some things to keep in mind:
© Prepare/Enrich
