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Relationship Basics

4 Ways to Give Back (while growing closer)

Cultivating a Mindset of Gratitude

By Relationship Basics, Resilience4 Comments

Ah, gratitude. It’s a common word these days, especially at this time of year – and for good reason. Gratitude is associated with some pretty powerful effects, such as lower stress, higher resilience, and greater happiness overall. Research has found that these benefits extend to marriage as well, fostering positive feelings and stronger connection between spouses. Who wouldn’t want that?

Of course, actually feeling gratitude within you is a very important part of the equation, as opposed to just going through the motions of expressing it. But let’s be real – sometimes you’re just not feeling it. Have you experienced this disconnect? If so, we’ve got some tips to help you cultivate a mindset of gratitude in your daily life and marriage. Read More

November 16, 2022
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Couple with arms around each other on skateboard

5 Secrets to Rockstar Communication

By Relationship BasicsNo Comments

We could say a lot about the importance of good communication in relationships. And actually, on this blog, we have! You’ll find a lot about the basics of assertiveness and active listening and the importance of communication overall. You’ll also find insights on some of the things that prevent us from communicating well and can even cause conflict as a result. If it seems like a lot to remember while also trying to apply in real life, you’re right. So we’ve distilled our tips down to the most essential – and effective – secrets to rockstar communication. Read More

October 5, 2022
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A Couple Sitting on Chairs Holding Hands over the Table

4 Things That Happen When You Truly Listen

By Relationship Basics4 Comments

Shhh. Listen. No, really listen. Do you hear it? That’s the sound of some amazing things happening in your relationship.

As you probably know, being a good listener and continuing to work on that skill throughout your marriage is one of the basic tenets of great communication. But its positive effects have a way of rippling out into other areas of your relationship as well. Here are some of the things that happen when you truly listen to each other. Read More

September 14, 2022
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A Couple Standing in the Farm Field

3 Secrets to Being Better Teammates

By Relationship Basics9 Comments

We say it often: remember that you and your spouse are on the same team. The advice seems straightforward enough, but let’s be honest – it’s not always easy to follow through. You don’t always feel like teammates. If you’re not aligned on what you’re hoping to achieve, it can seem like you’re actually working against each other. Sometimes it might even feel like you have to take things on alone. Fortunately, there are ways you set yourselves up to be better teammates to each other. Here are three secrets to make this happen: Read More

August 31, 2022
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Romantic Couple Talking on blanket in the grass

5 Common Assumptions That Cause Conflict in Marriage

By Conflict, Relationship Basics12 Comments

“So you made that dinner reservation, right?”
“What? No, I didn’t. I assumed you didn’t want to go because you were complaining about how busy this week was.”
“What?! Why would you think that? You said last week you were going to check availability, so I assumed you got a reservation.”
“Ugh!”

For most couples, this is a very relatable situation. Miscommunications and misunderstandings bubble up due to making assumptions about each other, as demonstrated in the conversation above. We don’t do it intentionally. We’re usually not itching for an argument to pop up at the most inopportune times. In fact, most of the time we probably don’t even realize we’re making assumptions. That’s what makes them so tricky – but not if you know what to watch out for. Here are five common assumptions we make about our spouse that cause conflict in marriage. Read More

August 10, 2022
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couple sitting inside tent with lights

3 Essential Relationship Boundaries

By Relationship Basics13 Comments

Picture this: a rare and precious jewel sparkles under a glass case atop a pedestal. Surrounding the treasure are some questionable characters who want to break into the case so they can have that jewel for themselves.

Now imagine your relationship is that jewel, and those characters are all of the external factors that, while not necessarily sinister in nature, have the potential to disrupt or damage the equilibrium of your relationship. This might seem like a dramatic comparison, but the idea is the same. We need to be protective of our relationship by creating boundaries in these areas: Read More

July 6, 2022
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Smiling Couple Hugging Outdoors Leaning on a Wooden Fence

5 Ways to Show Commitment

By Relationship Basics6 Comments

Will you marry me? ’Til death do us part. I do. For better or for worse. In sickness and in health.

What do these phrases all have in common? Well, we tend to associate all of them with commitment. While what they signify is important, at the end of the day, they’re just words. Commitment can be present even without a formal ceremony or vows, and it can be absent even with those things. The game-changer is how you live out your commitment to each other – the actions and attitudes that reinforce the verbal expression. Without further “I do”, here are five ways to show commitment. Read More

June 22, 2022
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couple with good communication holding hands while walking on urban pavement

5 Habits That Sabotage Good Communication

By Relationship Basics13 Comments

When it comes to communicating with your partner, not every conversation is created equal. Sometimes you’re able to clearly convey what you want and you come out of it on the same page – and same team. Other times, wires get crossed, an innocent exchange gets derailed, and you find yourselves feeling frustrated and misunderstood.

We’re human – our own emotions, biases, and expectations can cloud our ability to convey exactly what we mean or accurately interpret what our spouse is telling us. Despite good intentions, you might actually be sabotaging your efforts toward good communication with these five habits. Read More

June 1, 2022
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Family Sits on Table Inside Kitchen

What Our Parents Teach Us About Marriage

By Family & Friends, Relationship Basics6 Comments

If you had to write a book full of the lessons your parents taught you, what would be in it? Would there be a long chapter on the importance of kindness or having a good work ethic? Would there be a glossary of “things we don’t talk about” or an appendix of secret family recipes?

While the contents might be different for everyone, one chapter that most of our books would have is “Lessons on Marriage and Relationships.” Yep, for better or for worse, our parents have a big influence on the way we think about and behave in our marriage. Through both direct guidance and observation, here are some of the things you may have picked up on. Read More

May 25, 2022
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Man and Woman Having Conversation in the Kitchen

The Power of Owning Your Feelings

By Conflict, Relationship Basics18 Comments

“You made me so angry when you…”
“I felt really angry when you…”

These seem like similar statements on the surface, and the feeling behind them is certainly a common thread as well. While you could argue that it’s just a matter of semantics, the variation in wording can be reflective of a difference in mindset: blaming your spouse for your feelings versus taking ownership and responsibility for them.

Using “I statements” is a practical way to focus on owning your feelings in the midst of a discussion or argument. But what is the reasoning behind it? What happens when you do the self-reflective work around owning your feelings long before a conflict arises? Read More

April 20, 2022
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