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Relationship Basics

A Marriage Meeting That Works

A Marriage Meeting That Works

By Relationship Basics4 Comments

Does it ever feel like you and your spouse are operating from different playbooks? Do you feel like you need to call a time-out so you can get on the same page? When you’re stressed out about the budget, but your spouse is focused solely on meal planning for the week, how do you move forward productively as a team?

We’ve long touted the benefits of a regular relationship check-in. After all, a strong marriage is the foundation and heart of your family. But we also recognize that a lot more goes into keeping a household running smoothly, and when you’re not aligned on those other things, it affects your relationship, too. That’s where a regular marriage meeting comes in. While a typical relationship check-in is all about – you guessed it – your relationship, a marriage meeting can be a more all-encompassing chance to get aligned on the other things that make up your daily life together. Here are some tips to creating a marriage meeting that works. Read More

3 Times to Ask for a Do Over

3 Times to Ask for a Do-Over

By Relationship BasicsOne Comment

Have you ever had an interaction with your spouse that unexpectedly turned into a fight, all because of a communication mistake? You might know it’s happening even as the words are leaving your mouth. You can feel your spouse’s vibe change in response. You wish you could take it back and start over, but it’s too late. What’s done is done. Or is it?

While life is full of situations in which you only get one shot, marriage offers up many opportunities when a second chance can be just what you need to turn an otherwise negative outcome into a positive. When you know you’ve just made a poor choice in communicating with your spouse, requesting a do-over in the moment is an impactful way to quickly course-correct the interaction. Here are 3 times to ask for one: Read More

5 Areas Practice Pays Off in Marriage

5 Areas Practice Pays Off in Marriage

By Relationship Basics4 Comments

What things could you use some practice in? Maybe you’re picking up a new hobby or want to develop a particular skill for your job. Perhaps you’re giving a speech at your best friend’s wedding or you’re trying to perfect that special family recipe before the next big gathering. Whatever the case, practice typically leads to some degree of improvement, whether it’s immediate or more incremental.

What about in your marriage? “Practice” might seem odd in this context. Maybe you think about “working” on or prioritizing your marriage, but where does practice come in? Well, there are actually several areas in which practice pays off. Let’s dive into some. Read More

5 Tips for Setting the Right Tone

5 Tips for Setting the Right Tone

By Relationship Basics5 Comments

It’s not what you say, it’s how you say it.

Chances are, you’ve been on the receiving end of a snarky tone. You’ve probably even been the one dishing it out on occasion. The words themselves can be completely innocuous, but the tone with which they’re delivered can be the difference between a friendly, affectionate exchange and an escalating argument. We might think that our actual words should be most important, but the truth is, tone matters.

When it comes to communicating with your spouse, there are multiple ingredients that need to come together in the right way. If your words are the main protein, then things like tone and body language are the spices and seasonings you add that can make or break the dish. Here are 5 things to keep in mind when it comes to setting the tone: Read More

Breaking the Habit of Making Excuses

Breaking the Habit of Making Excuses

By Relationship Basics3 Comments

Excuses, excuses. Everyone makes them from time to time, but no one really wants to be known as the person who always has an excuse. It can come off as immature, irresponsible, or defensive – not a good look. While making excuses gets you off the hook in the short-term, doing it habitually can prevent you from growing, evolving, or reaching your full potential in the long run – and it can have the same effect on your marriage.

Excuses can show up in different forms. We might make them for ourselves or for others. Typically we think of them in the context of actions or behaviors – why we did or didn’t do something, or for being or not being a certain way (“It’s just the way I am.”) Similar to defensiveness, making excuses is a defense mechanism that we use to protect ourselves from feeling inadequacy, criticism, shame, or guilt. Also like defensiveness, it can inhibit conflict resolution and perpetuate complacency, ultimately preventing you from being the best spouse you can be.

So what can you do if making excuses is driving a wedge between you and your spouse? Here are some steps to take. Read More

Scrap These Marriage Myths Today

Scrap These Marriage Myths Today

By Premarital, Relationship Basics5 Comments

Are you engaged, newly married, or even just hoping to be one day? Chances are, you’ve probably got some preconceived notions about what marriage will be – or should be – like. It’s understandable. Whether it’s through TV, social media, or the internet in general, we’re inundated by different representations of marriage like never before. From the sensationalized and often short-lived celebrity marriages, to the dramatic ultimatums of reality shows, to the relatively normal marriage of your neighbors down the street, it’s hard to know what is actually real and healthy. You can jump in blindly, but having realistic expectations will help you feel happier and more empowered in your marriage. Let’s take a look at three marriage myths you should scrap today. Read More

Marriage Lessons from Social Media & Beyond

Marriage Lessons from Social Media and Beyond

By Relationship BasicsNo Comments

We’ll admit it. When it comes to discussing social media and its effects on marriage, we’ve focused mostly on the negatives. Distraction from being fully present, living vicariously through others, and getting caught up in comparison are some of the less-than-desirable impacts that tend to creep into your relationship and cause problems. But as with most things, it’s not all black and white. While there are pitfalls to watch out for, there are also a lot of positives that can come from social media as well.

For the sake of this post, let’s expand our definition of social media to include all of the different types of media we consume these days, such as podcasts, streaming platforms, etc. After all, everything is pretty much at our fingertips or just a click or scroll away. Plus, there’s lots of crossover between them – you hear podcast clips on TikTok and Instagram, reels on YouTube, you get the idea.

Now that those details are squared away, let’s explore some of the beneficial lessons we can reap from the media we consume on a daily basis. Read More

3 Leaves to Turn Over in Your Marriage

3 Leaves to Turn Over in Your Marriage

By Relationship Basics7 Comments

The trend of “new year, new me” seems to have come and gone. Why do we need to become a completely different person, after all? It’s a valid question. The idea doesn’t do much for your self-confidence, and honestly, can you really change the true essence of who you are? It’s unlikely.

What we really mean by “new me” is we want to improve our behaviors or actions in some way. In other words, we want to turn over a new leaf.
When it comes to your relationship with your spouse, this distinction holds true. Trying to change who your spouse is as a person is an exercise in futility. Instead you can both work on improving the way you act, behave, and respond within your marriage. And when you can get specific about those actions, they become much more executable – and lead to positive change in the dynamics of your relationship.

So you want to be a better spouse – okay, great! Well, where do you start? One way to think about it is to think of actions you want to do instead of something else. With that in mind, here are some specific “leaves” you can turn over to spark a positive shift in your marriage: Read More

Top 5 Posts of 2024

Our Top 5 Blog Posts of 2024

By Relationship BasicsNo Comments

Another year is coming to an end, and that means another year of blog posts have been sent out into the world for your consumption. Which posts captured your interest the most this year?

According to our stats, you were most into understanding how to navigate those imperfect times in your relationship – breaking out of unproductive communication patterns and getting to the root of why you’re feeling more annoyed or less connected than usual. Let’s count down the top five: Read More

3 Ways to Cultivate Gratitude in Your Marriage Daily

3 Ways to Cultivate Gratitude in Your Marriage Daily

By Relationship Basics, Resilience3 Comments

Be grateful. It’s a common mantra these days, and particularly at this time of year – and for good reason. Gratitude is associated with some pretty powerful effects, such as lower stress, higher resilience, and greater happiness overall. Research has found that these benefits extend to marriage as well, fostering positive feelings and stronger connection between spouses. And that’s something we can all get behind.

The key, of course, is making gratitude a consistent part of your daily life – a way of thinking and living instead of just something you focus on once a year. Wondering how to work on that? Here are 3 ways to add gratitude into your marriage every day. Read More