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Jun 30
Love0
couple sharing an inside joke

How to Nurture Friendship with Your Spouse

By Connection 21 Comments

Is your spouse your best friend? If you’re hesitant to say yes, that’s okay. It’s natural to think of your spouse, as well, your spouse. Your “best friend” might be that lifelong childhood buddy or your roommate from freshman year of college. It’s healthy to have good friendships outside your marriage.

But did you know research shows that couples who share a deep friendship are often happier in their relationship? Dr. John Gottman considers friendship the foundation of a strong marriage, and it makes sense. With friendship comes a mutual respect, care and affection for each other. Although physical intimacy is an important part of marriage, there are times and circumstances when it will be lower priority. A strong friendship will help you stay emotionally connected to each other and committed to your relationship. Here’s how you can nurture friendship with your spouse: Read More

Jun 23
Love0
Couple holding hands on the beach in the summer

Renew Your Bond with a Summer Bucket List

By Connection, Quality Time 4 Comments

Summer is officially in full swing, although with the recent heat wave that’s swept the country you’ve maybe been in summer mode for a few weeks already. There’s something about the longer days and warmer temps that makes everything feel lighter, laid back, and full of potential.

But sometimes, lots of potential means added pressure to maximize the time together, make memories, and enjoy life to the fullest. A summer bucket list is a fun, no-pressure way to make the most of the next three months while connecting with your partner. Here’s why: Read More

Jun 16
Love0

Appreciating Your Partner’s Personality

By Relationship Dynamics 8 Comments

Do you ever find yourself getting annoyed with your partner’s personality? Of course, you still love them unconditionally, but man, sometimes you just can’t help but wonder… Why do they do that? Why are they that way??

The ironic thing is that if you’ve been together for any length of time, the traits that start to annoy you are often the same ones that drew you to each other initially. That gregarious sense of humor now sometimes makes you grit your teeth. Those superb planning skills can feel more exhausting than efficient.

Personality traits tend to stay pretty consistent over the course of life, which means attempting to change them or waiting for them to change on their own is not the best use of anyone’s time, energy, or relationship! What’s more useful? Learning to appreciate your partner’s personality and manage your differences and similarities in positive ways. Here are some tips to do just that. Read More

Jun 09
Love0

Why Real Marriage Is Better Than a Fairytale

By Relationship Basics, Resilience 8 Comments

“…and they lived happily ever after.”
We’ve all heard these feel-good words, whether we remember them from our childhood or read them to our own children every night. As adults, we chuckle, knowing they’re no more realistic than the talking animals and magic spells that fill the storybook pages before them. Despite knowing this logically, there might be a part of us that thinks, “But wouldn’t happily ever after be nice?”

Well, sure, maybe if you’re a two dimensional character in a fairytale. But for complex people in real life marriages, happily ever after is overrated. Here’s why: Read More

Jun 02
Love0

Why Relationship Assessments Shouldn’t Be One & Done

By Premarital, Relationship Basics 9 Comments

Did you take a relationship assessment before you got married? For many of you, the answer is (hopefully) yes. Have you taken one since? The odds are less likely.

We understand – a lot of that pre-wedding stuff can feel like boxes to be checked off before the big day. If that resonates with you, we challenge and encourage you to think of it as the start of a journey together, and in that vein, the assessment as a tool to help you take stock of things along that journey. Yes, that means taking an assessment throughout your marriage.

Need more convincing? Here are five reasons you should say keep saying yes to assess(ment): Read More

May 26
Love0

5 Ways to Embrace Your Unique Relationship

By Relationship Dynamics One Comment

Do you consider yourselves to be a quirky couple? Whether you answered yes or no, the reality is that your personalities, upbringing, experiences, and perspectives make you two very unique individuals. And that makes your relationship one-of-a-kind as well! Learning to go with the flow of the unique dynamics of your relationship instead of resisting them or feeling like there’s some mold you should fit into is part of growing as a couple.

Here are five way you can embrace your unique relationship: Read More

May 19
Love0

3 Ways Empathy Transforms Your Marriage

By Connection, Relationship Basics 19 Comments

Some people are natural empaths. They feel what others are feeling without even trying, even people they’ve just met. Most of us have to work at empathy a little more intentionally, even with someone as close to us as our spouse. Research has shown that reminding people what empathy is can actually help them be more empathetic. So as a review for those of us who are not natural empaths, empathy is understanding or feeling what another person is experiencing from within their frame of reference – or in other words, putting yourself in their shoes.

Seeing things from your partner’s frame of reference increases your connection and does wonders for the way you communicate. Here are three scenarios that show how empathy can have a profoundly positive effect on your relationship: Read More

May 05
Love0
Man kissing woman on the forehead

The Keys to Productive Complaining

By Conflict 7 Comments

It sounds like an oxymoron. Complaining doesn’t usually get associated with being productive. But in the context of your relationship, complaining is actually preferable to the damage of criticism.

Renowned marriage researcher and therapist John Gottman has pinpointed what he calls the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse – four communication habits that can be predictive of divorce with a shocking 90% accuracy. You guessed it, one of the Horsemen is criticism.

Now for the good news: as we mentioned earlier, complaining is the healthier alternative to criticism. It helps ensure you’re both making an effort and can be an antidote to complacency. Want to complain more productively? Keep these tips in mind:

Read More

Apr 28
Love0
Couple talking on a scenic overlook

5 Ways To Show You’re Really Listening

By Relationship Basics 10 Comments

Are you even listening to me?!

Have you ever been on the receiving end of this question? It’s not a great feeling. You might feel like you’re justifiably getting called out or you might get a little indignant because you were actually listening!  Whatever the case, something is missing when it comes to your active listening, which is foundational to good communication.

Here are five tips to make sure your partner feels heard:

Read More

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