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May 19
Love0

3 Ways Empathy Transforms Your Marriage

By Connection, Relationship Basics 19 Comments

Some people are natural empaths. They feel what others are feeling without even trying, even people they’ve just met. Most of us have to work at empathy a little more intentionally, even with someone as close to us as our spouse. Research has shown that reminding people what empathy is can actually help them be more empathetic. So as a review for those of us who are not natural empaths, empathy is understanding or feeling what another person is experiencing from within their frame of reference – or in other words, putting yourself in their shoes.

Seeing things from your partner’s frame of reference increases your connection and does wonders for the way you communicate. Here are three scenarios that show how empathy can have a profoundly positive effect on your relationship: Read More

May 05
Love0
Man kissing woman on the forehead

The Keys to Productive Complaining

By Conflict 7 Comments

It sounds like an oxymoron. Complaining doesn’t usually get associated with being productive. But in the context of your relationship, complaining is actually preferable to the damage of criticism.

Renowned marriage researcher and therapist John Gottman has pinpointed what he calls the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse – four communication habits that can be predictive of divorce with a shocking 90% accuracy. You guessed it, one of the Horsemen is criticism.

Now for the good news: as we mentioned earlier, complaining is the healthier alternative to criticism. It helps ensure you’re both making an effort and can be an antidote to complacency. Want to complain more productively? Keep these tips in mind:

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Apr 28
Love0
Couple talking on a scenic overlook

5 Ways To Show You’re Really Listening

By Relationship Basics 10 Comments

Are you even listening to me?!

Have you ever been on the receiving end of this question? It’s not a great feeling. You might feel like you’re justifiably getting called out or you might get a little indignant because you were actually listening!  Whatever the case, something is missing when it comes to your active listening, which is foundational to good communication.

Here are five tips to make sure your partner feels heard:

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Apr 21
Love0
Couple cuddling together on their bed

Putting the Quality in Quality Time

By Connection, Quality Time 5 Comments

Our time is so valuable these days. We’re always looking for ways to save time or make the most of our time. When all is said and done, what -or who – are we conserving that time for? Well, many of us want that extra time to spend with our loved ones – our spouse and family. Whether you’re in a super busy season of life or you just want to make the most of the valuable time you spend together, here are three tips for increasing the quality of your quality time:

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Apr 14
Love0
Two couples laughing together after a mountain hike

How to Make New (Couple) Friends

By Family & Friends 3 Comments

How to make friends is a social skill you learn early on in life, far before you know what a social skill is. Looking back, you were probably encouraged to play with a neighbor at a playground or sit next to a kid in preschool. Over time you kind of figure out what you have in common with certain kids, find yourself drifting towards those who enjoy the same things you do, and lo and behold, you have a friend. As kids, we can even be quite blunt about it by straight up asking, “Do you want to be my friend?” We like to show off our BFF – best friend forever – even proclaiming that status through a special handshake or cheap matching jewelry. And just as quick as we begin friendships, we end them, exiling someone for being mean or having the audacity to sit by someone else at lunch.

The point of this is that as kids, making friends was usually pretty easy. It was a natural part of your development as a child. Your parents celebrated each new friendship, your environment (aka school) fostered friendship development, and you had tons of time to dedicate to nurturing those new relationships – basically you had time to play together.

But what happens when you get older, and you need/want to make new friends? It’s hard! You may not have the time, support system, or even skills to start new friendships. Another challenging aspect of developing friendships as adults is that you may be trying to build friendships as a couple, with other couples.

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Mar 31
Love0
a smiling man spinning his wife around

To Be (Social) Or Not To Be: 5 Things to Talk About

By Quality Time, Relationship Basics One Comment

Believe it or not, our social lives can be a source of conflict. One partner needs more social interaction, while the other prefers much less. One person thinks the party is on Friday, but the other person is certain they told you Saturday. Throw in limited free time, kids, and other various circumstances, and things can turn into a mess pretty quickly.

One of the keys to navigating this challenge is obvious, but oh so important: clear and honest communication. Here are five things to make sure you’re talking about.

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Mar 24
Love0
a smiling couple sitting on the back end of a red car

Spring Cleaning For Your Relationship

By Connection, Relationship Basics 4 Comments

Ah, spring. Those first few warm days where people feel the urge to open the windows, dust away the cobwebs, and deep clean the grime that has accumulated over the winter. Relationships can benefit from a regular “clean up” as well, or in this context it could be more of a “check in.” Whether it’s once a year on your anniversary or as often as a weekly or monthly date night, make a point to touch base with each other on the state of your relationship. Here are some things you might have on your task list:

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Mar 17
Love0
a couple holding hands walking into the surf on a beach

Baby Steps to Relationship Growth

By Quality Time, Relationship Basics One Comment

Growing is part of life. Physically, mentally, emotionally, socially, spiritually, you name it – we grow in so many ways throughout our lives. The thing about growing, though, is that there isn’t a shortcut. We usually can’t skip over the hard, uncomfortable, or awkward parts even though we’d sometimes like to (middle school flashbacks – yikes). Even though it might not seem like it at the time, those stages are valuable. We learn a lot from them, often gaining experience and insight that helps us down the road. Through this, we also gain the confidence to stretch the boundaries of our current state, growing as we tackle the next step.

It’s not entirely surprising then, that our confidence and motivation can take a hit when our “next step” is too big.  Sometimes we go for it and fall, and we say, “Okay, not trying that again anytime soon!” Sometimes we just can’t even fathom how we’ll make it, so we don’t even try. 

Have you ever experienced this? How about in your relationship?

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