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5 Things That Undermine an Apology

By Conflict15 Comments

Have you ever been on the receiving end of a bad apology? How did it make you feel? Even if you couldn’t articulate exactly what what was off about it, you might have walked away feeling a sense of dissatisfaction, or even more hurt or angry than you were initially. Have you been on the other side of this situation? You tried to apologize to your spouse, but it was not received well. Maybe you felt like you were doing all the right things, but it’s not coming across the way you’d like. What went wrong?

The fact of the matter is, a meaningful apology is more than just uttering the words, “I’m sorry.” Here are five things that can undermine an apology. Read More

September 6, 2023
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4 Common Weekend Arguments & How to Prevent Them

By Conflict3 Comments

It’s Friday afternoon. The weekend is just a few hours away. After another busy week, you can’t wait to relax with your family, get a few chores done, and possibly have some friends over for dinner one night. You text your spouse to see what you should pick up from the grocery store for said dinner, but you’re caught off guard by their response: “What dinner? We can’t have people over, we’re starting the downstairs bathroom remodel this weekend, remember?”

Uh-oh. You rack your brain trying to figure out how the wires got crossed. You swear you talked about having friends over…didn’t you? Plus, you weren’t planning on starting the bathroom for at least another few weeks. You sense an argument brewing… not a great way to start the weekend.

Can you relate to this scenario? Perhaps you know from firsthand experience that weekend fights can be a major bummer. So let’s explore four common weekend arguments – and how you can prevent them. Read More

August 16, 2023
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4 Big Reasons to Stop Avoiding the Issue

4 Big Reasons to Stop Avoiding the Issue

By Conflict, Relationship Dynamics12 Comments

You don’t want to rock the boat. It’s probably not that big of a deal. Maybe you’re overreacting. You’ll bring it up another time.

It’s easy to come up with lots of reasons to avoid bringing up an issue with your spouse. Most people don’t want to start a fight or cause conflict when things seem to be rolling along smoothly. It’s understandable to want to keep the peace. But here’s the thing: avoiding dealing with issues in your marriage has a way of coming back to bite you later. Most problems don’t just go away on their own. So let’s explore four big reasons to stop avoiding the issue. Read More

July 26, 2023
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The Do's & Dont's of Disappointment

The Do’s and Don’ts of Disappointment

By Conflict8 Comments

Disappointment is pretty much a part of life. Maybe you’re disappointed in a movie you had high hopes for or in the way your homemade cheesecake turned out. You might feel displeased for a short period of time, but it’s nothing you’ll lose sleep over. Other times, disappointment can run deeper, such as when someone you love – like your spouse – lets you down in a way that feels significant and personal. In these situations, you may not get over it so quickly. So what should you do? Read More

June 28, 2023
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Getting Aligned When You Disagree

Getting Aligned When You Disagree

By Conflict2 Comments

Is there an issue that you and your spouse seem to perpetually disagree on?

If it’s a minor, superficial thing – how to correctly load the dishwasher or whether the toilet paper should go over or under – it’s probably no big deal. You might have a good-natured debate about it or tease each other about doing it wrong. At the end of the day, no one is losing sleep over it.

But what happens when you simply can’t reach agreement on a bigger issue, one that has a significant impact on your marriage and family? While you might try avoiding the topic, more than likely you’ll need to face it. And if you’ve never been able to see eye to eye on it, that can feel daunting, frustrating, and disheartening. You might find yourself wondering, “Where do we go from here? Will we always fight about this? Is it going to damage our relationship?”

Luckily, there are ways to break this stalemate and begin working toward a resolution together. The key is working toward alignment – not total agreement. Unsure how to start moving in that direction? Here are some tips. Read More

May 3, 2023
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6 Peacekeepings Tips for Annoying Habits

6 Peacekeeping Tips for Annoying Habits

By Conflict, Relationship Dynamics6 Comments

Do you always have to leave the cabinet doors open? You’re hogging all the covers again! Shhh, can you just watch the movie instead of asking a million questions? Oh my gosh, you are so indecisive!

If you and your spouse don’t have habits that annoy each other, are you even married? Just kidding… kind of. The truth is, while the habits can vary greatly, the irritation can get real. Sometimes we could all use some extra help in handling them in positive ways. Here are six peacekeeping tips for dealing with those annoying habits. Read More

April 12, 2023
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3 Mindset Shifts to Make Before Your Next Fight

3 Mindset Shifts to Make Before Your Next Fight

By Conflict8 Comments

It’s easy to have idyllic ideas about how you’ll handle conflict with your partner…when you’re not in the middle of it. Throw in a triggering comment and rising emotions, and suddenly all your best intentions seem to go right out the window. Before you know it, you’re stewing in anger and dwelling on the wrong things. Instead of working on repairing your connection, you’re doing the exact opposite and freezing each other out.

Suddenly trying to change the way you approach conflict with your spouse in the heat of the moment is a challenge for many reasons. That’s why it can be beneficial to reflect on the changes you’d like to make ahead of time – when you’re not in the midst of an argument. Does it mean you’ll be perfect in the moment? Probably not. But it can help you course-correct more quickly, setting the stage for more productive discussion and resolution.

Here are three mindset shifts to make before your next fight. Read More

April 5, 2023
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Couple holding hands outdoors winter

5 Common Sources of Holiday Conflict

By Conflict2 Comments

Is conflict with your spouse putting a damper on your holiday spirit? If you and your spouse are arguing more than usual lately, it’s understandable. There’s something about this season that can stir up issues for even the most harmonious of couples. Here are five common sources of holiday conflict – and how to resolve them. Read More

December 21, 2022
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Couple sitting across table talking

4 Ways to Get Out of a Marriage Funk

By Conflict, Resilience3 Comments

Do you ever feel like your marriage is in a funk? It’s sort of the equivalent of when you’re in a bad mood, but you can’t quite put your finger on why. Maybe you’re both crabby and short with each other a lot lately, you feel like you’re speaking different languages, or there’s just a vague tension between you that has you both feeling like you’re walking on eggshells. What’s the deal?

First things first, it’s normal to have ups and downs throughout your marriage. Sometimes things are clicking and you feel connected and at ease with each other. Other times, your relationship can feel like a struggle that requires effort and intention from you both. If you’ve been experiencing an extreme sense of disconnection in your marriage for a long time, it may be wise to seek professional guidance to help you navigate any deeper issues. If this is more the exception than the norm for you, then keep reading. We’ve got some tips to help you break out of the funk faster – and prevent bigger problems from taking root. Read More

December 7, 2022
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Family celebrating holidays

Your Family or Mine: Reaching Compromise on Holiday Celebrations

By Conflict, Family & Friends2 Comments

The holidays are a-knocking. Are you and your spouse ready to answer the door? Or are you hiding in the basement with the lights off?

That might sound dramatic, but the reality is, holidays can be a source of conflict for many couples. One of the most common issues revolves around how, where, or with whom they’ll celebrate. Can you relate? Do you have different ideas for how you should spend them? Does it feel like you’re caught in the middle of both of your families? Is it causing conflict between the two of you? If you’re interested in how you can reach a compromise, we’ve got some practical steps for working through it together. Read More

November 9, 2022
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