5 Overlooked Chances to Connect

When it comes to connecting with your spouse, you probably think of the intentional, anticipated chunks of time, like an anniversary date or the regularly-scheduled check-ins that keep your marriage rolling along smoothly. These are necessary and well worth the planning and effort. And while it can feel like these are the only real opportunities you have to truly connect, you might be surprised to find that there are other chances tucked throughout your day. It’s all about recognizing and making the most of them. Here are five often overlooked examples:

1. Tackling a chore

There’s no way around it – they have to get done. You may as well take advantage of the situation. Look for tasks that you can complete faster as a team and allow for some good conversation, like loading/unloading the dishwasher or folding laundry. Or take on that thing you’ve been dreading, like putting together that new dresser or cleaning out the garage. You can give each other moral support, commiserate while it’s happening, and then feel a sense of accomplishment in completing it together.

2. Taking a drive

If you’ve got somewhere to be together, make the most of the drive! Use the opportunity to check in with each other or have a conversation without the usual distractions. There’s something about being in a car sitting side by side that can be disarming – a great time to bring up that topic you’re nervous about discussing or that you’ve both been avoiding. Obviously, you’ll want to make sure whoever is driving pays ample attention to the road, but you don’t have to sit in silence.

3. Hitting the hay

As you’re both turning back the covers and climbing into bed, take a few minutes to cozy up for some cuddles, pillow talk, prayer, or decompression from the day. Sharing what you’re looking forward to or worried about for the next day is a great way to clear your mind before you drift off. Even if one of you stays up to read or watch some quiet TV, you can end the day feeling connected.

4. Finishing a meal

Do you have small children or teenagers who snarf down their meal and are excused from the table in a flash? Even if it’s just a few times a week that you allow it, send the kids to go play in the other room while you take advantage of this time for some one-on-one adult conversation. Amidst the chaos of the evening routine and getting dinner on the table, these relatively peaceful moments can feel like a well-deserved reprieve to enjoy your meal and each other’s company – before running the gauntlet of your toddler’s bedtime routine or chauffeuring your older kids to their next activity.

5. Squeezing in a workout

It’s not everyone’s cup of tea to workout with their spouse on a daily basis, but even doing it occasionally is a great way to keep up healthy habits while also enjoying time together. Consider taking turns choosing the workout, or try something that’s new to both of you. If you do workout together regularly, it’s like having a standing date. You might find you push yourself harder when your partner is there to cheer you on.

While these examples don’t replace setting aside intentional time for each other, they are a way to squeeze in extra moments of connection in our otherwise busy lives. The trick is taking full advantage of the time, even if it’s short, by being fully engaged and present with each other in those moments. What are some hidden opportunities for connection that you’ve found? Let us know in the comments!