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Conflict

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4 Times It’s Okay To Go To Bed Angry

By Conflict7 Comments

When you think of cliché relationship advice, it’s hard to beat the adage of “Never go to bed angry.” It might sound idyllic, but when you find yourselves still hashing out an argument at 2am you might start to wonder if it’s advice worth following.

Every couple is different, so if this rule works of you, that’s great! If it doesn’t, you’re not alone. In fact, there are times when going to bed angry – or with unresolved conflict – is okay. In fact, it might actually be in your relationship’s best interest. Let’s explore. Read More

July 20, 2022
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Man and Woman Having Conversation in the Kitchen

The Power of Owning Your Feelings

By Conflict, Relationship Basics18 Comments

“You made me so angry when you…”
“I felt really angry when you…”

These seem like similar statements on the surface, and the feeling behind them is certainly a common thread as well. While you could argue that it’s just a matter of semantics, the variation in wording can be reflective of a difference in mindset: blaming your spouse for your feelings versus taking ownership and responsibility for them.

Using “I statements” is a practical way to focus on owning your feelings in the midst of a discussion or argument. But what is the reasoning behind it? What happens when you do the self-reflective work around owning your feelings long before a conflict arises? Read More

April 20, 2022
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Cheerful newlywed couple dancing on sandy coast on sunny day

4 Common Newlywed Arguments

By Conflict, Premarital12 Comments

Newlyweds arguing. Does that seem like an oxymoron? While it might depend on how long you define the newlywed period, we usually associate newlyweds with the honeymoon phase – that blissful time after the wedding when everything seems carefree and happy. You see each other as pretty much perfect, and hearts float around you as you gaze at each other adoringly.

Okay, that might be a bit cliché – and not very realistic. The truth is, the first years of marriage are often quite challenging. As you start your life together and continue to get to know all of the different facets of each other, new issues pop up that may not have had the opportunity to reveal themselves before. Here are four common topics you might argue about as newlyweds. Read More

March 30, 2022
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couple cuddling on their bed

3 Ordinary Situations That Catch Your Relationship Off Guard

By Conflict, Resilience7 Comments

Some say that life is made up of all of the ordinary moments and ho-hum days, the run-of-the-mill, mundane stuff that comprises our day to day. The peaks and valleys tend to get a lot of attention, but the majority of time is spent in the middle. It makes sense then, that these are the times that most often test your relationship in small ways, and usually when you least expect it. Here are three ordinary situations that can catch your relationship off guard: Read More

December 15, 2021
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Smiling woman jumping into man's arms in brightly lit doorway

How Gratitude Helps Fend Off Fights

By Conflict, Connection10 Comments

When you think of the way you express and experience gratitude in your relationship, what comes to mind? Perhaps it’s kind words, heartfelt gestures, or a loving smile or touch. These are momentary expressions of the sentiment, but the fact is, the influence of a grateful mindset has a way of echoing throughout your entire relationship in a positive way that promotes a sense of harmony. We’re not saying it will prevent you from ever fighting again (conflict can be healthy, after all) but it can help you avoid the unnecessary ones that do more damage than good. Not sure what we mean? Keep reading. Read More

November 17, 2021
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Couple talking on the shore, woman's hand on man's back

How Money Disagreements Can Bring You Closer

By Conflict8 Comments

Money can be one of those touchy subjects for couples. If it’s a topic you and your spouse struggle with, you might be able to attest to the fact that it can make you feel 1,000 miles apart. When you simply can’t understand each other’s perspective and don’t see eye to eye on basic tenets of managing your finances, getting aligned seems like a pipe dream. It doesn’t have to be this way! Let’s explore why money is such a tricky issue and how your differences can actually be an opportunity to grow closer. Read More

November 10, 2021
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Couple putting dinner in the oven together

3 Common Role Challenges & How to Solve Them Together

By Conflict, Relationship Dynamics16 Comments

When you think about the various roles you fill in life, what comes to mind? There are the familial roles (husband, wife, mother, father, etc.), roles related to your job or livelihood, maybe even important roles in your community. But what about roles within your relationship? When it comes to who’s responsible for which household chores, handles the finances, or wrangles the kids’ schedules, things are not always so clear cut. Because of this, it’s common to have conflicts or tension pop up. Here are three common role challenges and how you can solve them together. Read More

October 20, 2021
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We Just Disagree (And That’s Okay)

By Conflict11 Comments

Do you and your spouse tend to agree on most things? If so, great! If not, that’s great too (and probably much more likely.) You might be thinking, “I wish we agreed more. We’re always bickering over trivial things!” But when you think about it, it’s better to disagree on the trivial things than on the big things. Going a step further, it’s more important to be aligned on the bigger mission or purpose than to agree on every idea or method for getting there. Wondering if this is all just semantics? Let’s explore further. Read More

September 29, 2021
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couple in lake splashing water on each other

4 Strategies to Defuse a Fight

By Conflict15 Comments

Have you ever had a fight brew up out of nowhere? One minute, you’re laughing and affectionate with each other; the next minute, you’re both hurling snarky comments and feeling anything but connected.

So what happened in those two minutes? How did you go from enjoying each other’s company to finding yourself in a fight? You might be thinking, “All I said was XYZ!” Your partner might be thinking, “I can’t believe they said XYZ!”

Oftentimes, there is a trigger – something that stirs up emotions. Then there are a series of choices that we make that lead us down the fight path. The problem is, strong emotions make it difficult to make rational decisions, and our natural instinct is to protect ourselves. This means we might react in a way that triggers our partner, inadvertently or not. You can see how this creates the perfect conditions for an unexpected fight.

So how can we get better at managing our emotions and making choices that defuse those moments instead of fanning the flames? Here are four strategies to add to your repertoire: Read More

August 25, 2021
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couple sitting side by side at a table smiling

4 Essentials For a Winning Compromise

By Conflict, Relationship Basics5 Comments

Compromise can sometimes get a bad rap. In some contexts it can mean neither side is really getting what they want. In others it can mean settling for less than the ideal. But in the context of relationships, compromise is crucial. When done well, it can be a productive tool to rely on when you and your partner are dealing with disagreement. Here are some essentials for a winning compromise: Read More

July 28, 2021
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