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Weathering Weekend Mindset Differences

Weathering Weekend Mindset Differences

By Conflict, Quality TimeNo Comments

The weekend lies ahead of you – a blank slate of possibilities. Are you and your spouse on the same page about how to spend it? Think of the phrase, “That’s what the weekend is for.” To you, what is that, exactly? Is it for doing all the fun activities and outings you don’t have time for during the week? Is it for tackling your to-do list of chores and projects? Or is it all about relaxing and recharging at the end of a busy week and before starting the next?

The truth is, the way you want to spend the weekend might differ from what your spouse has in mind. You might have very different weekend mindsets overall, or even just from one weekend to the next. On their own, these preferences can cause conflict. Throw in a few unspoken expectations and less-than-stellar communication, and it’s a recipe for a disappointing weekend. If you and your spouse have experienced this before, then these tips are for you. Read More

When You Can't Let It Go

When You Can’t Let It Go

By Conflict12 Comments

We’ve all been there. Your spouse commits a seemingly small offense – maybe a comment comes out wrong, they make an inconvenient mistake, or show a lack of consideration – and you just can’t let it go. You ruminate and stew and dwell on it. Just when you’ve almost forgotten about it, you think about it again and a fresh wave of emotion arises. Even if you know logically that it’s not a big deal, something keeps you holding on. You just can’t let it go.

You don’t want to feel this way – angry, annoyed, or resentful towards your spouse for something you know is inconsequential. So what’s going on? Often, it’s tied to a deeper issue. Here are four things to reflect on when you find yourself in this situation. Read More

5 Keys to Breaking the Defensiveness Cycle

5 Keys to Breaking the Defensiveness Cycle

By Conflict, Relationship Basics9 Comments

Defensiveness in your relationship can be a vicious cycle. One of you makes a comment. The other person gets defensive and responds critically, causing the other person to get defensive in return. The longer this cycle continues, the harder it is to talk through issues and be open, authentic, and vulnerable with each other. So, how do you break out of this pattern? These are the key things to keep in mind: Read More

Top 5 Conflict Issues

5 Most Common Conflict Issues

By Conflict2 Comments

When it comes to conflict in your marriage, it can sometimes feel like you’re the only couple who regularly deals with certain issues. It might seem like other couples have a much easier time resolving conflict or that it shouldn’t be so hard for you and your spouse. That can feel pretty isolating. But we’re going to let you in on a secret: most couples, even those that are skilled in conflict resolution, deal with a common set of conflict-related problems in their marriage.

That’s right. Prepare/Enrich data has pinpointed five of the most common conflict issues reported by a majority of couples. Here’s what they are: Read More

3 Reasons Your Fights Are Lasting Longer Than They Should

3 Reasons Your Fights Last Longer Than They Should

By Conflict7 Comments

We’ve all been there. You have fight with your spouse. Maybe the actual fight itself didn’t last longer than ten minutes, but the aftermath drags on for days. Days of cold interactions, stewing, and silence. How long can it go on? How long should it go on?

While a “cooling off” period after an argument can be necessary and helpful, letting disconnection linger on for days without working toward repair can be more damaging to your relationship than it’s worth. Do you feel like your fights last longer than they should? Let’s explore a few reasons why this might be true and how you can start to resolve things sooner. Read More

5 Things to Consider Before Venting About Your Spouse

The Complexities of Forgiveness

By Conflict10 Comments

I forgive you. Is forgiveness as simple as saying those three words? Occasionally, it might be. Other times, it’s much more complicated.

The truth is, forgiveness is a crucial part of a lifelong marriage. You will inevitably experience and inflict hurts in your marriage. Without forgiveness, however, your relationship can become brittle and bogged down by the anger and resentment of those past wounds. Learning to embrace the various aspects of forgiveness opens you up to the possibility of peace, growth, and even a stronger marriage.

While the benefits of forgiveness seem straightforward enough, forgiveness itself can actually be quite complex. Let’s explore some of the reasons why. Read More

The Power of a Do-Over

The Power of a Do-Over

By Conflict, Parenting6 Comments

In a lot of circumstances, you only get one shot. Heck, life itself is a perfect example (YOLO!) It can create a lot of pressure to get things right the first time. But no one is perfect, and when we fail, it can be a tough pill to swallow. When it’s possible and appropriate, a second chance can be just what we need to turn an ordinary or negative situation into something more. Let’s explore the power of a do-over in the context of marriage. Read More

Why Parenting Disagreements Test Your Relationship

Why Parenting Disagreements Can Test Your Relationship

By Conflict, Parenting5 Comments

Having children is often considered one of the most rewarding parts of marriage. While that may be true, it can also be one of the most challenging, testing your relationship with your spouse in ways you’ve never experienced before. Raising children isn’t easy, even if you were to agree on every aspect of it. So when you disagree, it can feel like a wedge between you. Why do parenting disagreements tend to carry such weight? And what are some tips to turn those disagreements into opportunities to come out stronger? Let’s take a look. Read More

Showing Love When You’re Not Really Feeling It

By Conflict, Connection6 Comments
Real talk. You love your spouse. But sometimes, you don’t really feel all that loving. Maybe you are angry with them or are still processing emotions around a conflict. Perhaps you’re emotionally flooded or you’ve had a horrible day and just need some space. Whatever the case, it’s normal to not feel loving and affectionate toward your spouse 100% of the time. However, constantly taking your anger, frustration, or other difficult emotions out on them (even when they might be the cause), will take a toll on your relationship.

Fortunately, there are ways to let your spouse know your love for them hasn’t wavered – that you’re still “with” them and committed to your marriage even if you’re not feeling especially warm towards them at the moment. These small things provide reassurance that you will reconnect, even if it’s not immediately. Let’s explore. Read More

5 Things That Undermine an Apology

By Conflict15 Comments

Have you ever been on the receiving end of a bad apology? How did it make you feel? Even if you couldn’t articulate exactly what what was off about it, you might have walked away feeling a sense of dissatisfaction, or even more hurt or angry than you were initially. Have you been on the other side of this situation? You tried to apologize to your spouse, but it was not received well. Maybe you felt like you were doing all the right things, but it’s not coming across the way you’d like. What went wrong?

The fact of the matter is, a meaningful apology is more than just uttering the words, “I’m sorry.” Here are five things that can undermine an apology. Read More