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Ann Malmberg

couple in lake splashing water on each other

4 Strategies to Defuse a Fight

By Conflict15 Comments

Have you ever had a fight brew up out of nowhere? One minute, you’re laughing and affectionate with each other; the next minute, you’re both hurling snarky comments and feeling anything but connected.

So what happened in those two minutes? How did you go from enjoying each other’s company to finding yourself in a fight? You might be thinking, “All I said was XYZ!” Your partner might be thinking, “I can’t believe they said XYZ!”

Oftentimes, there is a trigger – something that stirs up emotions. Then there are a series of choices that we make that lead us down the fight path. The problem is, strong emotions make it difficult to make rational decisions, and our natural instinct is to protect ourselves. This means we might react in a way that triggers our partner, inadvertently or not. You can see how this creates the perfect conditions for an unexpected fight.

So how can we get better at managing our emotions and making choices that defuse those moments instead of fanning the flames? Here are four strategies to add to your repertoire: Read More

August 25, 2021
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couple smiling at each other at home

3 Steps to Being More Assertive in Your Relationship

By Relationship Basics, Relationship Dynamics6 Comments

Ahh, the kids are in bed and you’ve just settled into your favorite spot on the couch for a Netflix session with your spouse. Now, what to watch? You scroll and scroll through the options, waiting for your partner to suggest something. A few things grab your interest, but you don’t say anything. What if they’re not into it? What if it’s not good? Your partner finally calls out an option. You’re not crazy about the choice, but you start it anyway. Then for the next 90 minutes you sit silently wishing you’d picked something you wanted to watch – it had to be better than this!

This is a trivial example, but it’s a microcosm of the role of assertiveness in relationships. In the realm of good communication, assertiveness is the flip side of active listening. It’s being self-aware enough to know what we want and need, and then communicating that to our partner in an honest, respectful way. It’s giving your partner a fair shot at meeting your needs and wishes while also being accountable for your own happiness and satisfaction.

For some people, assertiveness comes relatively easily. You’re confident and comfortable asking for what you want; you don’t take it personally if you don’t always get it. It doesn’t hurt to ask, right? Or, maybe you’ve even been called out for being too assertive or domineering in some situations. For others, however, being assertive is a struggle, and it’s one that can build upon itself. You don’t voice your needs, so you don’t get them. You feel a lack of agency over your situation, causing you to feel even less confident. It can be a tough cycle to break, but it’s not impossible. Here are some ways you can begin being more assertive in your relationship: Read More

August 18, 2021
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family in the kitchen making dinner

4 Work-Life Boundaries to Create Today

By Quality Time6 Comments

Whether you work from home or go into an office or job site every day (or some days), it’s a challenge to strike a balance between work and home. Why is this balance so important? Because when work begins to seep into all hours of our day, our relationship suffers. How can we avoid this path? One way is by being intentional about creating healthy boundaries between our work life and home life. Let’s explore some ways we can put this into practice. Read More

August 11, 2021
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couple sitting on exercise mat

Hidden Opportunities to Foster Connection

By Connection9 Comments

When it comes to quality time, we often think we need to carve out a special spot in the day/week/month for time to focus on each other and nurture our relationship. This is partially true. Date nights and daily check ins (or some variation of them) are definitely a must-have for maintaining a strong relationship. However, there are actually hidden opportunities to foster connection already tucked throughout your day-to-day life. Here are few to get you started: Read More

August 4, 2021
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couple sitting side by side at a table smiling

4 Essentials For a Winning Compromise

By Conflict, Relationship Basics5 Comments

Compromise can sometimes get a bad rap. In some contexts it can mean neither side is really getting what they want. In others it can mean settling for less than the ideal. But in the context of relationships, compromise is crucial. When done well, it can be a productive tool to rely on when you and your partner are dealing with disagreement. Here are some essentials for a winning compromise: Read More

July 28, 2021
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couple walking hand in hand with child

5 Ways to Support Each Other as Parents

By Parenting10 Comments

As a couple, you learn to support each other in many facets of life. Perhaps you’ve cheered on your partner through a tough job search. Maybe their career is chugging along and you support them in the demands it requires of them. Or one of you has faced health issues and the other has been your rock. Maybe you’ve motivated and pushed each other to get out of debt. While these are all aspects that can come and go throughout your relationship, one area that takes many couples by surprise is parenting.

When you become parents, you’re both in a completely new element. It’s hard enough figuring out your own needs and identity as a parent, and knowing how to support your spouse is a challenge all its own. Parenting becomes another aspect of your couple relationship that thrives when you both feel supported by each other. Here are some ways you can weave support for each other as parents throughout your relationship: Read More

July 21, 2021
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4 Virtues of Great Marriage Mentors

By Premarital3 Comments

Have you heard of marriage mentors? They’re often part of premarital programs in churches or other couple-focused organizations. You may have worked with a marriage mentor couple yourself and experienced the benefits firsthand.

Marriage mentors are pretty much what they sound like: mentors for your marriage. Also called “mentor couples,” marriage mentors are couples who’ve been married long enough to have experience and perspective when it comes to the ups and downs of marriage. They provide support, encouragement, and guidance to engaged or newlywed couples. If you serve as a marriage mentor couple already, thank you for giving your time and experience to this important work!

There are some misconceptions about marriage mentors. It might seem like they need to have a perfect marriage and be experts on relationships, but that’s simply not the case. It turns out, the best mentors often have these surprising traits: Read More

July 14, 2021
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Relationship Basics - Part 2

Why You Should Hype Up Date Night

By Connection, Quality Time10 Comments

Dates. Couples are always told to prioritize going on regular dates. We’ve certainly talked a lot about the importance of dates here on the Prepare/Enrich blog. We’ve given many ideas for day dates, cheap dates, weekend getaway dates, at-home dates, the standard date nights, and so on and so forth. We’ve talked about why dates are important – they provide opportunity to connect, go deeper in conversation with each other, and really invest in your relationship. We’ve also helped you overcome common obstacles couples face when they try and schedule a date – childcare, expectations, expense, etc.

But today, we’re sharing why you should hype up dates with your spouse and how you can do that without setting yourselves up for disappointment. Read More

July 7, 2021
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couple sharing an inside joke

How to Nurture Friendship with Your Spouse

By Connection21 Comments

Is your spouse your best friend? If you’re hesitant to say yes, that’s okay. It’s natural to think of your spouse, as well, your spouse. Your “best friend” might be that lifelong childhood buddy or your roommate from freshman year of college. It’s healthy to have good friendships outside your marriage.

But did you know research shows that couples who share a deep friendship are often happier in their relationship? Dr. John Gottman considers friendship the foundation of a strong marriage, and it makes sense. With friendship comes a mutual respect, care and affection for each other. Although physical intimacy is an important part of marriage, there are times and circumstances when it will be lower priority. A strong friendship will help you stay emotionally connected to each other and committed to your relationship. Here’s how you can nurture friendship with your spouse: Read More

June 30, 2021
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Couple holding hands on the beach in the summer

Renew Your Bond with a Summer Bucket List

By Connection, Quality Time4 Comments

Summer is officially in full swing, although with the recent heat wave that’s swept the country you’ve maybe been in summer mode for a few weeks already. There’s something about the longer days and warmer temps that makes everything feel lighter, laid back, and full of potential.

But sometimes, lots of potential means added pressure to maximize the time together, make memories, and enjoy life to the fullest. A summer bucket list is a fun, no-pressure way to make the most of the next three months while connecting with your partner. Here’s why: Read More

June 23, 2021
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