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Ann Malmberg

Couple putting dinner in the oven together

3 Common Role Challenges & How to Solve Them Together

By Conflict, Relationship Dynamics16 Comments

When you think about the various roles you fill in life, what comes to mind? There are the familial roles (husband, wife, mother, father, etc.), roles related to your job or livelihood, maybe even important roles in your community. But what about roles within your relationship? When it comes to who’s responsible for which household chores, handles the finances, or wrangles the kids’ schedules, things are not always so clear cut. Because of this, it’s common to have conflicts or tension pop up. Here are three common role challenges and how you can solve them together. Read More

October 20, 2021
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family gathering for a birthday party

The What, When, and How of Family Boundaries

By Family & Friends10 Comments

Whether your relationship with your in-laws and your own family is usually pretty great or has its ups and downs, there are situations that test your family boundaries. If your families already struggle with boundary issues, certain circumstances may exacerbate them even more, putting additional strain on the relationships. If your boundaries are usually pretty healthy, you might still experience some tension as you navigate the situation at hand. Read More

October 13, 2021
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Couple looking lovingly at each other

Break These Habits & Feel More Connected

By Connection12 Comments

Do you have any habits that negatively effect your relationship? Maybe you have a tendency to leave your wet towel on the bed, while your spouse leaves all the drawers and cabinets hanging open. Sure, these habits might get on each other’s nerves, but in most cases they’re surface level offenses and not actually detrimental to the quality of your relationship.

What’s more concerning are habits that seem pretty innocuous in passing, but that sneakily steal away moments of connection. Done once or twice, here and there, they probably aren’t a big deal. But when they become your fallback, your relationship can take the brunt. Break these habits before they break your connection. Read More

October 6, 2021
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We Just Disagree (And That’s Okay)

By Conflict11 Comments

Do you and your spouse tend to agree on most things? If so, great! If not, that’s great too (and probably much more likely.) You might be thinking, “I wish we agreed more. We’re always bickering over trivial things!” But when you think about it, it’s better to disagree on the trivial things than on the big things. Going a step further, it’s more important to be aligned on the bigger mission or purpose than to agree on every idea or method for getting there. Wondering if this is all just semantics? Let’s explore further. Read More

September 29, 2021
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woman working on laptop smiling as she watches husband and baby asleep on bed

Staying Optimistic During a Tough Season

By Resilience2 Comments

What is a tough season? Well, that’s going to be different for everyone. It could be the years when your children are young and you aren’t feeling connected. It could be a period of time when you’re struggling financially or facing career uncertainty. It might be a phase in which roles feel out of balance or your family is going through a transition. While the circumstances are all unique, the common thread is that when you’re in the thick of it, it feels hard. It’s easy to get discouraged, and you might begin to question how you’re going to make it through. Here are some tips for staying optimistic during a tough season. Read More

September 22, 2021
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How to Boost Adaptability as a Couple (and Why It’s So Important)

By Resilience4 Comments

When we think of being adaptable, we might associate it with a person’s personality type. Some people are more adaptable and go with the flow, while others are more thrown off when the unexpected happens. However, it’s not just individuals who have varying levels of adaptability – relationships do, too.

Why is adaptability (or flexibility) important in relationships? Think of a small tree, weathering a storm. If that tree is able to bend and flex when it’s hit with strong gusts of wind, it has better odds of surviving the storm. If the trunk of that tree is brittle and rigid, it’s likely it will snap under the wind’s force and be left broken in the aftermath.

Being adaptable in your relationship is a lot like having that pliable trunk, with the storm being the adversity, stressors, and hardships that life can throw your way. Being flexible means you’re more likely to make it through those challenges as a couple and bounce back to a balanced state, while being rigid during trying times makes your relationship more susceptible to irreparable damage. Simply put, a healthy level of adaptability lends itself to a more resilient relationship.

You might be wondering, “Do we just have to wait for a crisis to find out whether we’re flexible, or is it something we can work on?” Luckily, it’s the latter! There are simple ways we can stretch and strengthen our adaptability muscles, both intentionally and by being mindful during certain every day situations. Here are some examples: Read More

September 15, 2021
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Couple in the kitchen hanging out

How to Prepare for a Productive Discussion

By Connection4 Comments

Do you remember the last big discussion you had with your partner? Was it spur of the moment or planned in advance? Were you prepared for it?

We usually associate being prepared with things like taking a test, packing for a trip, or saving money in case of an emergency. Less often do we consider whether we’re prepared to talk to each other. But the fact is, preparing ourselves for an important conversation can be the difference between a game-changing, productive discussion or an argument leaving you both feeling frustrated and disconnected from each other.

The important discussions you have as a couple will likely cover a wide range of topics, whether it’s about managing money, growing your family, changing careers, or your relationship. No matter the topic, you can use the following checklist to make sure you’re both prepared to have the talk: Read More

September 1, 2021
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couple in lake splashing water on each other

4 Strategies to Defuse a Fight

By Conflict15 Comments

Have you ever had a fight brew up out of nowhere? One minute, you’re laughing and affectionate with each other; the next minute, you’re both hurling snarky comments and feeling anything but connected.

So what happened in those two minutes? How did you go from enjoying each other’s company to finding yourself in a fight? You might be thinking, “All I said was XYZ!” Your partner might be thinking, “I can’t believe they said XYZ!”

Oftentimes, there is a trigger – something that stirs up emotions. Then there are a series of choices that we make that lead us down the fight path. The problem is, strong emotions make it difficult to make rational decisions, and our natural instinct is to protect ourselves. This means we might react in a way that triggers our partner, inadvertently or not. You can see how this creates the perfect conditions for an unexpected fight.

So how can we get better at managing our emotions and making choices that defuse those moments instead of fanning the flames? Here are four strategies to add to your repertoire: Read More

August 25, 2021
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couple smiling at each other at home

3 Steps to Being More Assertive in Your Relationship

By Relationship Basics, Relationship Dynamics6 Comments

Ahh, the kids are in bed and you’ve just settled into your favorite spot on the couch for a Netflix session with your spouse. Now, what to watch? You scroll and scroll through the options, waiting for your partner to suggest something. A few things grab your interest, but you don’t say anything. What if they’re not into it? What if it’s not good? Your partner finally calls out an option. You’re not crazy about the choice, but you start it anyway. Then for the next 90 minutes you sit silently wishing you’d picked something you wanted to watch – it had to be better than this!

This is a trivial example, but it’s a microcosm of the role of assertiveness in relationships. In the realm of good communication, assertiveness is the flip side of active listening. It’s being self-aware enough to know what we want and need, and then communicating that to our partner in an honest, respectful way. It’s giving your partner a fair shot at meeting your needs and wishes while also being accountable for your own happiness and satisfaction.

For some people, assertiveness comes relatively easily. You’re confident and comfortable asking for what you want; you don’t take it personally if you don’t always get it. It doesn’t hurt to ask, right? Or, maybe you’ve even been called out for being too assertive or domineering in some situations. For others, however, being assertive is a struggle, and it’s one that can build upon itself. You don’t voice your needs, so you don’t get them. You feel a lack of agency over your situation, causing you to feel even less confident. It can be a tough cycle to break, but it’s not impossible. Here are some ways you can begin being more assertive in your relationship: Read More

August 18, 2021
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family in the kitchen making dinner

4 Work-Life Boundaries to Create Today

By Quality Time6 Comments

Whether you work from home or go into an office or job site every day (or some days), it’s a challenge to strike a balance between work and home. Why is this balance so important? Because when work begins to seep into all hours of our day, our relationship suffers. How can we avoid this path? One way is by being intentional about creating healthy boundaries between our work life and home life. Let’s explore some ways we can put this into practice. Read More

August 11, 2021
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