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Ann Malmberg

5 Patterns to Establish in Your Marriage

4 Patterns to Establish in Your Marriage

By Relationship Basics12 Comments

Do you ever feel like you’re stuck in negative patterns in your marriage? Maybe it’s a cycle of criticism and defensiveness, or resentment that builds until a blowout argument. You might feel discouraged – how did you even get into the pattern in the first place? All it takes is a couple of instances to set a precedent. A pattern forms, and it’s hard to break out of.

What can you do to avoid this? One way is to be more intentional about establishing positive patterns instead. Here are four examples: Read More

October 29, 2025
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Handling Hot Topics in Social Situations

Handling Hot Topics in Social Settings

By Conflict2 Comments

Imagine you and your spouse are out celebrating a friend’s birthday. You’re chatting away catching up with another couple, and they ask you if you’re going on any vacations this year. You immediately tense up. They wouldn’t know this, but this has been a sore spot in your marriage for the last couple of months. Your spouse shoots you a look; you shoot them one back.

Have you been in this situation before? A major point of contention between you and your spouse comes up in front of others. Maybe it’s something you’ve been arguing about, like in the example. Or it could be an elephant in the room that you haven’t discussed yet. Either way, you’re caught off-guard and put on the spot. Maybe there’s awkward silence, or you can feel your emotions start to bubble up. How do you respond? Here are a few tips for handling hot topics in social settings. Read More

October 15, 2025
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Newlywed Arguments That Are Good For Your Marriage

Newlywed Arguments That Are Good For Your Marriage

By Premarital, Resilience3 Comments

It’s inevitable: the honeymoon period wears off, and you have that first big argument as a married couple. If you were expecting butterflies, rainbows, and happily ever after, it can come as a bit of a surprise. Even if you had a more realistic perspective, it can throw you for a loop.

The truth is, it’s normal for new conflicts to arise once you’re married, and for existing ones to pop up again. Marriage isn’t a cure all. In many ways it can feel it adds complexity to issues and ups the stakes when it comes to resolving them. But conflict is nothing to be afraid of. In fact, working through these common points of contention as newlyweds can actually be good for your marriage in the long run. Read More

October 8, 2025
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A Marriage Meeting That Works

A Marriage Meeting That Works

By Relationship Basics4 Comments

Does it ever feel like you and your spouse are operating from different playbooks? Do you feel like you need to call a time-out so you can get on the same page? When you’re stressed out about the budget, but your spouse is focused solely on meal planning for the week, how do you move forward productively as a team?

We’ve long touted the benefits of a regular relationship check-in. After all, a strong marriage is the foundation and heart of your family. But we also recognize that a lot more goes into keeping a household running smoothly, and when you’re not aligned on those other things, it affects your relationship, too. That’s where a regular marriage meeting comes in. While a typical relationship check-in is all about – you guessed it – your relationship, a marriage meeting can be a more all-encompassing chance to get aligned on the other things that make up your daily life together. Here are some tips to creating a marriage meeting that works. Read More

October 1, 2025
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3 Times to Ask for a Do Over

3 Times to Ask for a Do-Over

By Relationship BasicsOne Comment

Have you ever had an interaction with your spouse that unexpectedly turned into a fight, all because of a communication mistake? You might know it’s happening even as the words are leaving your mouth. You can feel your spouse’s vibe change in response. You wish you could take it back and start over, but it’s too late. What’s done is done. Or is it?

While life is full of situations in which you only get one shot, marriage offers up many opportunities when a second chance can be just what you need to turn an otherwise negative outcome into a positive. When you know you’ve just made a poor choice in communicating with your spouse, requesting a do-over in the moment is an impactful way to quickly course-correct the interaction. Here are 3 times to ask for one: Read More

September 24, 2025
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Have You Outkicked Your Coverage?

Have You Outkicked Your Coverage?

By Relationship DynamicsOne Comment

If you’re a football fan, you’re probably excited that a new season is upon us. If you’re not, you could be anywhere from apathetic to annoyed to completely unaware. Either way, we’ll cut to the chase – this post is not really about football. But it is about a figure of speech that originates from football: outkicking your coverage. Have you heard this phrase used in the context of relationships?

If you haven’t, it’s typically used to insinuate that a person’s spouse is more attractive or desirable than they are. Alternatives are (for some reason) similarly sports-themed – out of your league or batting above your average are common ones. The truth is, it’s not usually very helpful to judge or speculate about the dynamics of others’ relationships, although sometimes it can help us reflect on our own. So let’s take that road instead. Read More

September 17, 2025
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You and Your Spouse Versus

You & Your Spouse Versus …

By Resilience7 Comments

It’s you and your spouse against the world.

A bit dramatic, right? While this notion can seem romantic in an angsty sort of way, it’s usually not true. However… there’s something to be said for feeling like you and your spouse can handle whatever life throws at you – as a team.

After all, throughout marriage, it’s easy to fall into a mindset that it’s you versus your spouse. Whether it’s their annoying habits, the issues you disagree on, or going through a season of lower connection, it can start to feel like you’re fighting against each other on everything. Suffice it to say, becoming entrenched in that dynamic is detrimental to your relationship.

So what if you used the “you and your spouse against the world” perspective to your advantage? Unsure what we mean? Here are three scenarios to make it work for you. Read More

September 10, 2025
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Bonus Marriage Compatibility Points

Bonus Marriage Compatibility Points

By Relationship Dynamics3 Comments

What are the most important things to agree on in marriage? Typically you’re going to consider things like your values and beliefs, overall meshing of your personalities, and the general picture of what you want your future to look like – whether that includes a big family, career aspirations, living in a small town or a big city, etc. If you and your spouse differ significantly on these topics, it’s going to be difficult to plan a life together – to say the least.

But if you’re aligned on these big things, does that mean it’s all smooth sailing? Eh, not quite. You and your spouse will probably still disagree, albeit on things with lower stakes. That got us thinking…

What are those things that you definitely don’t have to agree on, but that just might make day-to-day life a whole lot easier if you did? Consider them sort of like bonus compatibility points in marriage. Let’s explore some examples. Read More

September 3, 2025
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8 Date Add-Ons for a New Spin

8 Date Add-Ons for a New Spin

By Connection, Quality Time2 Comments

If regular dates have become part of your routine, congrats! You’ve established a habit that will pay off – strengthening your relationship in both the long and short-term – and that’s something to be proud of. So what’s next? Are you looking for a new challenge or a way to level up your dates? Or perhaps you’re experiencing a (good) problem – things have gotten to be a little too routine and predictable. Whatever the case, you could use some ways to inject some novelty and fun into your usual dates. There’s no need to completely reinvent the wheel, so here are 8 simple date add-ons that will put a new spin on your same old, same old. Read More

August 27, 2025
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