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Mar 05
Love0
Marriage Lessons from Social Media & Beyond

Marriage Lessons from Social Media and Beyond

By Relationship Basics No Comments

We’ll admit it. When it comes to discussing social media and its effects on marriage, we’ve focused mostly on the negatives. Distraction from being fully present, living vicariously through others, and getting caught up in comparison are some of the less-than-desirable impacts that tend to creep into your relationship and cause problems. But as with most things, it’s not all black and white. While there are pitfalls to watch out for, there are also a lot of positives that can come from social media as well.

For the sake of this post, let’s expand our definition of social media to include all of the different types of media we consume these days, such as podcasts, streaming platforms, etc. After all, everything is pretty much at our fingertips or just a click or scroll away. Plus, there’s lots of crossover between them – you hear podcast clips on TikTok and Instagram, reels on YouTube, you get the idea.

Now that those details are squared away, let’s explore some of the beneficial lessons we can reap from the media we consume on a daily basis. Read More

Feb 26
Love0
Calling Out the Unwritten Rules

Calling Out the Unwritten Rules

By Relationship Dynamics No Comments

Picture the scene: You and your spouse have just enjoyed a lovely dinner at your in-law’s house. You’re stuffed, but your mother-in-law just brought out dessert. You politely decline, and immediately get an elbow jab and a stern look from your spouse. You’re confused. You’re too full for dessert, and you don’t have much of a sweet tooth either. What’s wrong with saying no?

As you come to find out later – everything! You unwittingly broke an unwritten rule in your spouse’s family – you don’t turn down dessert. “Why not?” you ask. Your spouse shrugs. “I don’t know, you just don’t.” You make a mental note of it for the future.
Have you ever been in this situation? It’s like there’s an invisible playbook you need to follow. Once you know the plays, it’s simple enough, but learning them can be awkward, uncomfortable, and even cause conflict in your marriage and family.

While this is an example within one of your families, chances are there are unwritten rules within your marriage as well. Where did they come from? How did you learn them? What impact do they have on your relationship? Let’s explore. Read More

Feb 19
Love0
4 Ways to Prepare for Time Apart

4 Ways to Prepare for Time Apart

By Connection, Resilience 2 Comments

Are you getting ready to spend some time away from your spouse? Maybe it’s just for a few days – a work trip or family obligation. Perhaps it’s a longer-term situation, such as a military deployment, job, or educational opportunity. Whatever the case, it’s natural to feel a bit nervous. Will it be hard on your relationship? Will you drift apart? Will you miss each other terribly? Realistically, all of these might be true. But you can take steps to prepare yourselves – and your marriage – to navigate this time apart successfully. Here’s how. Read More

Feb 12
Love0
5 Secrets to Better Conversations

5 Secrets to Better Conversations

By Connection, Relationship Dynamics 2 Comments

It’s the end of a busy week. You’re out to a relaxing dinner with your spouse, and you’re both thrilled to be spending some quality time together. A few minutes of companionable silence pass by until one of you pipes up about – what else – the kids. You both chuckle over their antics, then move on to talking about their upcoming appointments and swapping drop-off/pickup duty on those days. Appetizers arrive, and you dig into those before changing the topic to this month’s credit card bill.

If this sounds all too familiar, you’re not alone. These practical, surface-level conversations are often what make up a good chunk of daily communication between spouses, and for good reason. They keep your household running smoothly and prevent logistical crossed wires, which can mean fewer unnecessary fights over said topics. And if you have kids – well, you love them and talking about them brings you endless joy, so of course you’re going to do that.

At the same time, do you ever find yourself wishing your conversations were a little more… something? More playful and fun? More stimulating? Do you long for the days when deep discussions had you feeling closer than ever? We hear you. Here are our five secrets to better conversations with your spouse. Read More

Jan 29
Love0
When You Can't Let It Go

When You Can’t Let It Go

By Conflict 12 Comments

We’ve all been there. Your spouse commits a seemingly small offense – maybe a comment comes out wrong, they make an inconvenient mistake, or show a lack of consideration – and you just can’t let it go. You ruminate and stew and dwell on it. Just when you’ve almost forgotten about it, you think about it again and a fresh wave of emotion arises. Even if you know logically that it’s not a big deal, something keeps you holding on. You just can’t let it go.

You don’t want to feel this way – angry, annoyed, or resentful towards your spouse for something you know is inconsequential. So what’s going on? Often, it’s tied to a deeper issue. Here are four things to reflect on when you find yourself in this situation. Read More

Jan 22
Love0
Reclaiming the Romance After the Roommate Phase

Reclaiming Romance After the Roommate Phase

By Connection, Resilience 9 Comments

Have you and your spouse gone through the roommate phase?

Maybe it was after having a baby, or as you tried to get into the groove of an unfamiliarly hectic stage of life. Maybe it was following a crisis or event that threw you both for a loop. Perhaps it was simply the result of feeling less connected than you used to. Whatever your situation, it’s a common stage couples go through. The danger, of course, is that although you fall into it without even trying – getting out of it takes effort and intention. You can wait around for that magical moment when the spark suddenly reignites. Meanwhile, you’re settling deeper into the roommate rut and growing more distant by the day. Or you can be proactive. Here are some tips for reclaiming the romance and getting your marriage back. Read More

Jan 15
Love0
Refresh These 3 Marriage Areas

Refresh These 3 Marriage Areas

By Relationship Dynamics 5 Comments

Are there areas of your relationship that are feeling a bit stale? Nothing is broken, so to speak, but deep down you know it could be better. Whether you’re stuck in the same old routine, or you feel like there are better ways you could be doing things in your marriage, sometimes a refresh is just what you need.

A refresh doesn’t mean a total overhaul or reinvention – it’s finding simple ways to inject new life and energy into what already works. With that in mind, here are three areas to refresh in your marriage: Read More

Jan 08
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3 Leaves to Turn Over in Your Marriage

3 Leaves to Turn Over in Your Marriage

By Relationship Basics 7 Comments

The trend of “new year, new me” seems to have come and gone. Why do we need to become a completely different person, after all? It’s a valid question. The idea doesn’t do much for your self-confidence, and honestly, can you really change the true essence of who you are? It’s unlikely.

What we really mean by “new me” is we want to improve our behaviors or actions in some way. In other words, we want to turn over a new leaf.
When it comes to your relationship with your spouse, this distinction holds true. Trying to change who your spouse is as a person is an exercise in futility. Instead you can both work on improving the way you act, behave, and respond within your marriage. And when you can get specific about those actions, they become much more executable – and lead to positive change in the dynamics of your relationship.

So you want to be a better spouse – okay, great! Well, where do you start? One way to think about it is to think of actions you want to do instead of something else. With that in mind, here are some specific “leaves” you can turn over to spark a positive shift in your marriage: Read More

Jan 02
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The Opposite of a Marriage Recap

The Opposite of a Marriage Recap

By Resilience 4 Comments

The “Your Year in Retrospect”-type recaps are pretty popular these days. Deep down, we know they’re probably just clever marketing tactics, but we can’t help but be at least a little bit interested in seeing our listening/sleeping/purchasing/exercising habits quantified in an engaging way.

What if this was applied to your marriage? Of course, we don’t have someone tracking all of our marriage behaviors or a complex algorithm to analyze that data, and this might be for the best. However, we can’t deny that there is value in reflecting on the past – whether it’s a calendar year or another year of marriage. It’s a great way to learn more about yourself, your partner, and your relationship. (We wrote a whole post about that here.)

Okay, so maybe knowing you had seven arguments about weekend plans wouldn’t be the most helpful (or practical) thing. But what if we turned this idea on its head? What if we made it aspirational and forward-looking? How could we use this framework to quantify and set marriage goals for the year ahead? Read More

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