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Resilience

3 Ways Flexibility Makes Your Marriage Last

3 Ways Flexibility Makes Your Marriage Last

By Resilience4 Comments

Flexibility has always sort of been our thing. No, we didn’t come up with the concept, of course, but it’s one of the unique components of the Prepare/Enrich assessment. Part of the foundational research it’s built on comes in the form of the Couple and Family Maps. (If you’ve taken the assessment, you might be familiar with them!) We won’t get too into the details, but here’s the gist: the maps graph the levels of connection and flexibility in a couple’s relationship or the family they grew up in. The levels can be too high (chaotic), too low (rigid), midrange, or balanced. Research has shown that when flexibility is balanced, relationships are healthier and more resilient – and ultimately more likely to last. Here are three big reasons why: Read More

April 23, 2025
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Planning to Prioritize Your Marriage

Planning to Prioritize Your Marriage

By Resilience5 Comments

If you have children, you know how much planning goes into their wellbeing. You set their daily schedules, make appointments, and arrange childcare. You plan their birthday parties and register for summer camp months in advance. It seems non-negotiable – just part of being a parent.

You put lots of time, energy, and resources into making sure the upcoming months include what your kids needs to grow and thrive. Can you say the same about your marriage? Read More

April 2, 2025
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4 Ways to Prepare for Time Apart

4 Ways to Prepare for Time Apart

By Connection, Resilience2 Comments

Are you getting ready to spend some time away from your spouse? Maybe it’s just for a few days – a work trip or family obligation. Perhaps it’s a longer-term situation, such as a military deployment, job, or educational opportunity. Whatever the case, it’s natural to feel a bit nervous. Will it be hard on your relationship? Will you drift apart? Will you miss each other terribly? Realistically, all of these might be true. But you can take steps to prepare yourselves – and your marriage – to navigate this time apart successfully. Here’s how. Read More

February 19, 2025
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Reclaiming the Romance After the Roommate Phase

Reclaiming Romance After the Roommate Phase

By Connection, Resilience9 Comments

Have you and your spouse gone through the roommate phase?

Maybe it was after having a baby, or as you tried to get into the groove of an unfamiliarly hectic stage of life. Maybe it was following a crisis or event that threw you both for a loop. Perhaps it was simply the result of feeling less connected than you used to. Whatever your situation, it’s a common stage couples go through. The danger, of course, is that although you fall into it without even trying – getting out of it takes effort and intention. You can wait around for that magical moment when the spark suddenly reignites. Meanwhile, you’re settling deeper into the roommate rut and growing more distant by the day. Or you can be proactive. Here are some tips for reclaiming the romance and getting your marriage back. Read More

January 22, 2025
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The Opposite of a Marriage Recap

The Opposite of a Marriage Recap

By Resilience4 Comments

The “Your Year in Retrospect”-type recaps are pretty popular these days. Deep down, we know they’re probably just clever marketing tactics, but we can’t help but be at least a little bit interested in seeing our listening/sleeping/purchasing/exercising habits quantified in an engaging way.

What if this was applied to your marriage? Of course, we don’t have someone tracking all of our marriage behaviors or a complex algorithm to analyze that data, and this might be for the best. However, we can’t deny that there is value in reflecting on the past – whether it’s a calendar year or another year of marriage. It’s a great way to learn more about yourself, your partner, and your relationship. (We wrote a whole post about that here.)

Okay, so maybe knowing you had seven arguments about weekend plans wouldn’t be the most helpful (or practical) thing. But what if we turned this idea on its head? What if we made it aspirational and forward-looking? How could we use this framework to quantify and set marriage goals for the year ahead? Read More

January 2, 2025
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Avoiding the Post-Holiday Marriage Funk

Avoiding the Post-Holiday Marriage Funk

By Resilience5 Comments

You’ve probably heard of the post-holiday blues, but what about a post-holiday marriage funk? The idea is the same – after a couple weeks of indulging in the parties, festivities, treats, and fixings, the return to normalcy when it’s all over can seem like a very rude awakening. If you’re both feeling moody and irritable individually, it’s not far-fetched to think you might take it out on each other – or fall into some negative relationship habits. Needless to say, this isn’t the best way to start out the new year.

Of course, this outcome isn’t inevitable by any means. Starting off strong – with intention – can set a positive tone for the coming months. Wondering how to start now? Here are 4 tips to consider: Read More

December 18, 2024
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4 Truths About the Holidays as a Couple

4 Truths About the Holidays as a Couple

By Resilience3 Comments

The holidays mean different things to everyone. They can even hold different meaning to you from one year or one season to the next. Whether you start counting down the days six months out or you silently dread the festivities, the reality is that the holidays as a couple can be filled with joy – and be a difficult time of year, for a variety of reasons.

Gaining awareness of this duality – and the fact that it’s normal – can help. Here are four truths about experiencing the holidays as a couple. Read More

December 11, 2024
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3 Ways to Cultivate Gratitude in Your Marriage Daily

3 Ways to Cultivate Gratitude in Your Marriage Daily

By Relationship Basics, Resilience3 Comments

Be grateful. It’s a common mantra these days, and particularly at this time of year – and for good reason. Gratitude is associated with some pretty powerful effects, such as lower stress, higher resilience, and greater happiness overall. Research has found that these benefits extend to marriage as well, fostering positive feelings and stronger connection between spouses. And that’s something we can all get behind.

The key, of course, is making gratitude a consistent part of your daily life – a way of thinking and living instead of just something you focus on once a year. Wondering how to work on that? Here are 3 ways to add gratitude into your marriage every day. Read More

November 27, 2024
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5 Real Tips for Tired Couples

5 Real Tips for Tired Couples

By Resilience5 Comments

“I’m so tired.”

It can seem like being tired is just part of being an adult. You’ve got things to do, places to be, and only so much time for sleep. Sometimes your season of life dictates whether you’re getting enough of sleep, and it’s hard to change. Other times, you have more control over the situation.

While being tired is a normal part of life for many, the reality is that when you’re both exhausted, neither of you are at your best. You might be irritable, moody, overly sensitive, critical, or defensive. Your communication skills suffer, and you simply don’t have much left in the tank for each other. It goes without saying that this can be detrimental to your marriage over time. Want to avoid damage to your relationship? Grab a cup of coffee and check out these realistic tips. Read More

October 16, 2024
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Investing in the Marriages Around You

Investing in the Marriages Around You

By Family & Friends, ResilienceOne Comment

They say “no man is an island,” and no marriage is either. Your marriage is affected by everything around you, which includes the attitudes and values placed on marriage by those in your circle and the communities you’re part of.

Think about it. If you surround yourself with friends who are constantly devaluing their spouse, or you never had an example of a healthy marriage growing up, there’s a good chance your attitudes toward your spouse and marriage will be influenced. If your employer or your church doesn’t offer much support for marriage and family, that’s another message that you might begin to internalize.

Of course, the opposite is true as well. Surrounding yourself with people who support and champion marriage can have a positive effect on your own. Plus, it’s reciprocal, which means when you invest in their marriages, you’re perpetuating this cycle.

Okay, so how do you actually invest in others’ marriages?

When you invest in your own marriage, you prioritize your relationship and put in the care and effort to make it last a lifetime. While you can’t necessarily strengthen other couples’ marriages for them, you can help and empower them to do it on their own. Here are some examples and opportunities to consider: Read More

September 25, 2024
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