Are you someone who celebrates their birthday all month, all week, one day, or not at all? Where does your spouse land?
Chances are you fall into one of these categories, and you probably know people who fit into the others. Are you and your spouse in the same group? If not, how are you navigating those differences?
It seems like a minor thing, but how you celebrate – whether it’s birthdays, holidays, milestones, or accomplishments – runs much deeper. Read More
They say that loving your spouse is a choice you make every day. That’s true, but is it really just based on one single choice? Perhaps more accurately, it is the cumulative effect of many choices you make throughout the course of every day. Small forks in the road can send the dynamics of your marriage down a path of warmth and connection, or quite the opposite. Sort of like those “Choose Your Own Adventure” books that were popular in the 80’s and 90’s, the decisions you make when interacting with your spouse have a way of feeding off the previous and into the next. For better or worse, these seemingly small choices can become ingrained as habits or relationship patterns that stick. Wondering what we mean? Here are 4 forks in the road you might encounter on a daily basis: Read More
You track the stats of your favorite athletes and sports teams. You monitor your daily sleep and activity score on your watch or phone. Heck, you even tally points during a friendly game of Scrabble. Wouldn’t it also make sense to keep score in your marriage?
Most of us probably know the correct answer is no, but that doesn’t mean we don’t do it from time to time, even subconsciously. Maybe you’re keeping a mental tally of how often you’ve done one of your spouse’s usual chores, logging how much time they’ve spent on a solo hobby, or tracking how many times they’ve gotten up with the baby. Scorekeeping comes in many forms, but they all have one thing in common: Read More
We call them household chores – not household fun activities – for a reason. They often feel like the main obstacle standing between us and what we really want to be doing. Plus, they’re constant. As soon as you finish one round of chores it’s time to start up another. If it feels like you and your spouse can never get ahead, you’re not alone. Not only do they add work to your individual plates, but when you’re not aligned on how to handle them, it can strain your marriage as well. If you need to breath some new life into this area, keep reading. We’re sharing four fresh ways to approach household chores. Read More
Do you have people in your life who require a lot of energy? Maybe it’s a friend who always has lots of drama going on and emotions to match, a family member who is always going 100 miles an hour, or a coworker who has always made you a little nervous. Whether you realize it or not, spending time with these individuals tends to leave you feeling a bit drained. It’s fine in small doses, but you’re always ready for an opportunity to recharge afterward.
And people aren’t the only things that can drain you. Your job, daily responsibilities, and the world around you can tap out your energy reserves in various ways, whether it’s emotionally, mentally, or even spiritually. At the end of a long day, you’re both ready to decompress. Are you and your spouse a source of renewal for each other, or do you unintentionally demand more energy from each other? How can you help each other recharge? How does this benefit your relationship? Here are some aspects to consider: Read More
Picture the scene: You and your spouse have just enjoyed a lovely dinner at your in-law’s house. You’re stuffed, but your mother-in-law just brought out dessert. You politely decline, and immediately get an elbow jab and a stern look from your spouse. You’re confused. You’re too full for dessert, and you don’t have much of a sweet tooth either. What’s wrong with saying no?
As you come to find out later – everything! You unwittingly broke an unwritten rule in your spouse’s family – you don’t turn down dessert. “Why not?” you ask. Your spouse shrugs. “I don’t know, you just don’t.” You make a mental note of it for the future.
Have you ever been in this situation? It’s like there’s an invisible playbook you need to follow. Once you know the plays, it’s simple enough, but learning them can be awkward, uncomfortable, and even cause conflict in your marriage and family.
While this is an example within one of your families, chances are there are unwritten rules within your marriage as well. Where did they come from? How did you learn them? What impact do they have on your relationship? Let’s explore. Read More
It’s the end of a busy week. You’re out to a relaxing dinner with your spouse, and you’re both thrilled to be spending some quality time together. A few minutes of companionable silence pass by until one of you pipes up about – what else – the kids. You both chuckle over their antics, then move on to talking about their upcoming appointments and swapping drop-off/pickup duty on those days. Appetizers arrive, and you dig into those before changing the topic to this month’s credit card bill.
If this sounds all too familiar, you’re not alone. These practical, surface-level conversations are often what make up a good chunk of daily communication between spouses, and for good reason. They keep your household running smoothly and prevent logistical crossed wires, which can mean fewer unnecessary fights over said topics. And if you have kids – well, you love them and talking about them brings you endless joy, so of course you’re going to do that.
At the same time, do you ever find yourself wishing your conversations were a little more… something? More playful and fun? More stimulating? Do you long for the days when deep discussions had you feeling closer than ever? We hear you. Here are our five secrets to better conversations with your spouse. Read More
Are there areas of your relationship that are feeling a bit stale? Nothing is broken, so to speak, but deep down you know it could be better. Whether you’re stuck in the same old routine, or you feel like there are better ways you could be doing things in your marriage, sometimes a refresh is just what you need.
A refresh doesn’t mean a total overhaul or reinvention – it’s finding simple ways to inject new life and energy into what already works. With that in mind, here are three areas to refresh in your marriage: Read More
At the end of a difficult or stressful day, is your marriage a soft place to land? Is it a comforting place you can turn to when you’re feeling down and out, vulnerable, or overwhelmed?
Of course we’d like to say the answer is always “yes,” but the reality is that sometimes marriage itself can be a source of stress and tension. While this is totally normal – and can actually be a positive sign of relationship growth – it’s definitely not a permanent state you want your marriage to be in.
Most of the time, we want our marriage to be that comforting home base we can turn to. So how can you make yours more of a sanctuary? Here are a five key tips. Read More
Your alarm goes off, you silence it quickly so it doesn’t wake your spouse, and creep out of bed. You close the door quietly and head downstairs to get the coffee going. You set out their favorite mug alongside yours, then go jump in the shower. As you open the bathroom door, the aroma of the breakfast your spouse just cooked wafts in. You head to the kitchen and they greet you with a smile and ask how you slept. They hand you a steaming cup of coffee with just the right amount of cream and sugar.
This might seem like just a typical morning, but you’re actually saying “I love you” in many different ways – even though neither of you have spoken the words aloud. How many examples can you pick out? Read More
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