Is conflict with your spouse putting a damper on your holiday spirit? If you and your spouse are arguing more than usual lately, it’s understandable. There’s something about this season that can stir up issues for even the most harmonious of couples. Here are five common sources of holiday conflict – and how to resolve them. Read More
Do you ever feel like your marriage is in a funk? It’s sort of the equivalent of when you’re in a bad mood, but you can’t quite put your finger on why. Maybe you’re both crabby and short with each other a lot lately, you feel like you’re speaking different languages, or there’s just a vague tension between you that has you both feeling like you’re walking on eggshells. What’s the deal?
First things first, it’s normal to have ups and downs throughout your marriage. Sometimes things are clicking and you feel connected and at ease with each other. Other times, your relationship can feel like a struggle that requires effort and intention from you both. If you’ve been experiencing an extreme sense of disconnection in your marriage for a long time, it may be wise to seek professional guidance to help you navigate any deeper issues. If this is more the exception than the norm for you, then keep reading. We’ve got some tips to help you break out of the funk faster – and prevent bigger problems from taking root. Read More
The holidays are a-knocking. Are you and your spouse ready to answer the door? Or are you hiding in the basement with the lights off?
That might sound dramatic, but the reality is, holidays can be a source of conflict for many couples. One of the most common issues revolves around how, where, or with whom they’ll celebrate. Can you relate? Do you have different ideas for how you should spend them? Does it feel like you’re caught in the middle of both of your families? Is it causing conflict between the two of you? If you’re interested in how you can reach a compromise, we’ve got some practical steps for working through it together. Read More
Congrats! You just got a huge bonus at work. You’re already envisioning how you’ll spend it – replacing that ratty old couch with new furniture for the family room. You’ve been working hard and waiting for a little windfall to spend on something nice that you can both enjoy. You can hardly wait to tell your spouse.
What?! Your spouse just told you they got a big bonus at work – that’s great! But they’re already planning on spending it all – which you can’t really fathom. Logically, you know you could spend the money and be fine financially. But deep down, you feel like you just have to sock at least some of it away.
If you can relate to this situation, then you probably know what it’s like to have conflict with your spouse over money. You probably also know there’s no easy solution. That’s because money issues run deeper than being a spender or a saver. So how do you start getting to root of your differences? Here are three conversations to have when you clash over money. Read More
This is it. You’re finally doing it. You’re going on vacation, just you and your spouse. You can’t even remember the last time, it’s been so long. Will it be everything you dreamed of? Or will you get into a fight on the way to the airport, setting the tone for the rest of the trip?
If you’re like a lot of couples, taking a vacation just the two of you is a rare treat. So when it happens, the last thing you want is for this cherished time to be spoiled by unnecessary conflict. With that in mind, here are some tips for ensuring you and your spouse have the best time possible on your next getaway. Read More
“So you made that dinner reservation, right?”
“What? No, I didn’t. I assumed you didn’t want to go because you were complaining about how busy this week was.”
“What?! Why would you think that? You said last week you were going to check availability, so I assumed you got a reservation.”
“Ugh!”
For most couples, this is a very relatable situation. Miscommunications and misunderstandings bubble up due to making assumptions about each other, as demonstrated in the conversation above. We don’t do it intentionally. We’re usually not itching for an argument to pop up at the most inopportune times. In fact, most of the time we probably don’t even realize we’re making assumptions. That’s what makes them so tricky – but not if you know what to watch out for. Here are five common assumptions we make about our spouse that cause conflict in marriage. Read More
When you think of cliché relationship advice, it’s hard to beat the adage of “Never go to bed angry.” It might sound idyllic, but when you find yourselves still hashing out an argument at 2am you might start to wonder if it’s advice worth following.
Every couple is different, so if this rule works of you, that’s great! If it doesn’t, you’re not alone. In fact, there are times when going to bed angry – or with unresolved conflict – is okay. In fact, it might actually be in your relationship’s best interest. Let’s explore. Read More
“You made me so angry when you…”
“I felt really angry when you…”
These seem like similar statements on the surface, and the feeling behind them is certainly a common thread as well. While you could argue that it’s just a matter of semantics, the variation in wording can be reflective of a difference in mindset: blaming your spouse for your feelings versus taking ownership and responsibility for them.
Using “I statements” is a practical way to focus on owning your feelings in the midst of a discussion or argument. But what is the reasoning behind it? What happens when you do the self-reflective work around owning your feelings long before a conflict arises? Read More
Newlyweds arguing. Does that seem like an oxymoron? While it might depend on how long you define the newlywed period, we usually associate newlyweds with the honeymoon phase – that blissful time after the wedding when everything seems carefree and happy. You see each other as pretty much perfect, and hearts float around you as you gaze at each other adoringly.
Okay, that might be a bit cliché – and not very realistic. The truth is, the first years of marriage are often quite challenging. As you start your life together and continue to get to know all of the different facets of each other, new issues pop up that may not have had the opportunity to reveal themselves before. Here are four common topics you might argue about as newlyweds. Read More
Some say that life is made up of all of the ordinary moments and ho-hum days, the run-of-the-mill, mundane stuff that comprises our day to day. The peaks and valleys tend to get a lot of attention, but the majority of time is spent in the middle. It makes sense then, that these are the times that most often test your relationship in small ways, and usually when you least expect it. Here are three ordinary situations that can catch your relationship off guard: Read More
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