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Couple with arms around each other on skateboard

3 Surprising Signs Of A Strong Bond

By ConnectionOne Comment
Do you feel like you and your spouse have a strong bond? Hopefully the answer is yes. If so, what exactly makes you feel that way? Interestingly, that might be harder to pinpoint than you’d think.

Maybe you’re great communicators and skilled at dealing with conflict. It’s true that those things often go hand in hand with feeling strongly connected, and they definitely should not be minimized. But these are not the only signs! Sometimes it’s a bunch of seemingly small, subtle things that contribute to an overall feeling of closeness and connection. Often those things can be just as important, even if they don’t seem as “serious” in terms of healthy relationship habits. Let’s discuss a few of these surprising, and sometimes quirky, signs of a strong bond. Read More

December 6, 2023
Love0

3 Ways Empathy Transforms Your Marriage

By Connection, Relationship Basics19 Comments

Some people are natural empaths. They feel what others are feeling without even trying, even people they’ve just met. Most of us have to work at empathy a little more intentionally, even with someone as close to us as our spouse. Research has shown that reminding people what empathy is can actually help them be more empathetic. So as a review for those of us who are not natural empaths, empathy is understanding or feeling what another person is experiencing from within their frame of reference – or in other words, putting yourself in their shoes.

Seeing things from your partner’s frame of reference increases your connection and does wonders for the way you communicate. Here are three scenarios that show how empathy can have a profoundly positive effect on your relationship: Read More

May 19, 2021
Love0
Man kissing woman on the forehead

The Keys to Productive Complaining

By Conflict7 Comments

It sounds like an oxymoron. Complaining doesn’t usually get associated with being productive. But in the context of your relationship, complaining is actually preferable to the damage of criticism.

Renowned marriage researcher and therapist John Gottman has pinpointed what he calls the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse – four communication habits that can be predictive of divorce with a shocking 90% accuracy. You guessed it, one of the Horsemen is criticism.

Now for the good news: as we mentioned earlier, complaining is the healthier alternative to criticism. It helps ensure you’re both making an effort and can be an antidote to complacency. Want to complain more productively? Keep these tips in mind:

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May 5, 2021
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Couple talking on a scenic overlook

5 Ways To Show You’re Really Listening

By Relationship Basics10 Comments

Are you even listening to me?!

Have you ever been on the receiving end of this question? It’s not a great feeling. You might feel like you’re justifiably getting called out or you might get a little indignant because you were actually listening!  Whatever the case, something is missing when it comes to your active listening, which is foundational to good communication.

Here are five tips to make sure your partner feels heard:

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April 28, 2021
Love0
Couple cuddling together on their bed

Putting the Quality in Quality Time

By Connection, Quality Time5 Comments

Our time is so valuable these days. We’re always looking for ways to save time or make the most of our time. When all is said and done, what -or who – are we conserving that time for? Well, many of us want that extra time to spend with our loved ones – our spouse and family. Whether you’re in a super busy season of life or you just want to make the most of the valuable time you spend together, here are three tips for increasing the quality of your quality time:

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April 21, 2021
Love0
A couple embracing and looking off into the distance at the water.

Ears to Hear

By Uncategorized3 Comments

“Check out this one,” my wife said as she handed me her phone. I turned from what I was doing and glanced at the nearby house for sale, noting its far out-of-reach price.
“Looks great,” I replied, wondering why my wife was doing this to herself and what the point was. She couldn’t possibly be serious about the idea of moving, and even so, I thought, we couldn’t really afford to upgrade. Our current mortgage was quite manageable thanks to purchasing a modest home over a decade ago when prices were lower, plus refinancing when mortgage rates were historically low. Why would we mess with that?

On the other hand, since buying our house our family of three had become a family of six. Over the years we had worked hard to optimize the use of space in our house, and yet, I had to admit, we were bursting at the seams. Most pressing, our college freshman daughter, whose departure provided temporary relief, lacked a bedroom to move back into. Her younger sister had taken hers over the day she moved out. “We’ll figure something out” I assured her…mostly trying to assure myself. Day after day the pattern continued–my wife showing me houses that I didn’t think were realistic, which I communicated through deafening silence. I grew frustrated as my wife slid towards despair. Something had to give. Read More

May 24, 2018
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The top of a pineapple.

How Your Relationship is Like a Pineapple

By Uncategorized3 Comments
Two nearly overripe pineapples sat on the cutting board in front of me.   I had been walking by these pineapples for days thinking, “Who is going to cut up the pineapples?” I finally came to the conclusion that if I didn’t, they would go to waste. As I cut them I thought “Why did my husband buy these? Why didn’t he cut them up? It’s a lot of work to cut up a pineapple. Is he expecting me to cut them up? Why does he buy laborious fruit and not prepare it? Why can’t I at least be thankful that he is buying fresh fruit?”

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April 30, 2018
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A bookshelf with "35 years of validation" overlaid.

Who can you trust with your relationship?

By UncategorizedOne Comment

National Marriage Week is quickly approaching!

At PREPARE/ENRICH, we recognize and understand the importance of building strong marriages—and not just during this designated week in February.

We understand the positive impact that marriage has on individuals, children, families, and communities—physically, socially, emotionally, and economically.

We understand the need for valid, effective, and accessible tools that help clergy, counselors, and communities provide the support needed to make marriages last a lifetime.

We understand that it can be hard to know whether you are using the right tools—

In a growing field of options, who can you trust?

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February 1, 2018
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A little boy on a young girl's back in the yard.

Intentional Parenting

By UncategorizedNo Comments

Did you know that only about 8% of New Year’s resolutions are actually followed through?

Shocking, right? This is because we tend to make lavish goals that seem farfetched, like exercising 30 hours a week while balancing 2 kids’ schedules or going to every state in the United States this year. These resolutions tend to get thrown to the side to make room for other, every day priorities, like going to the grocery store, or spending that vacation money on your child’s traveling hockey team.

While we tend to make unobtainable resolutions for the New Year, many people still feel like the New Year is a fresh start, whether or not we make resolutions. Researchers call this feeling the “fresh start effect” 1 .  They have found that we tend to motivate ourselves into good habits by using a new beginning (like the start of the week, month, year, season, etc.) as a marker to put past behavior behind us and focus on being better.  It brings opportunity to reflect on the previous year and anticipate what you want the New Year to look like.

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January 18, 2018
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