Not everyone loves surprises. If this sounds like you or your spouse, you might cringe at the thought of surprising each other. But before you stop reading, let us clarify. Surprises don’t have to come in the form of an over-the-top surprise party with every person you know in attendance (the horror!) They can actually be relatively small, simple ways to show love and appreciation or boost your level of connection. Here are 10 ideas to get your gears turning: Read More
Fortunately, there are ways to let your spouse know your love for them hasn’t wavered – that you’re still “with” them and committed to your marriage even if you’re not feeling especially warm towards them at the moment. These small things provide reassurance that you will reconnect, even if it’s not immediately. Let’s explore. Read More
Have you ever been on the receiving end of a bad apology? How did it make you feel? Even if you couldn’t articulate exactly what what was off about it, you might have walked away feeling a sense of dissatisfaction, or even more hurt or angry than you were initially. Have you been on the other side of this situation? You tried to apologize to your spouse, but it was not received well. Maybe you felt like you were doing all the right things, but it’s not coming across the way you’d like. What went wrong?
The fact of the matter is, a meaningful apology is more than just uttering the words, “I’m sorry.” Here are five things that can undermine an apology. Read More
Quality time with your spouse – what would your relationship be without it? While it can sometimes seem like a luxury amidst your busy lives, it’s actually a vital ingredient for a marriage that stands the test of time.
For one, spending quality time together helps you bond and nurture your connection. If you’ve been feeling disconnected lately, not prioritizing quality time can sometimes be the reason why. Second, quality time is an opportunity to fill each other’s cup. You’ve probably heard of love languages, and one of them is quality time! If this is one or both of your languages, then spending time together will help you feel loved and cherished. And third, quality time with you partner helps you gain a sense of balance in multiple areas of your life. For example, it helps you balance togetherness and separateness. When life is hectic, prioritizing time together ensures you aren’t spending too much time apart. It can also help you in the area of work-life balance, providing a reprieve from workaholism and the stress that comes with it.
The interesting thing about quality time is that it’s limited. That’s part of what makes it so valuable, something to be savored. It’s sort of like going on vacation – knowing it’s a rare experience that contrasts your regular day-to-day life – is what makes it so special. All of that to say, you probably want to get the most out of the time you’re spending together (hence why it’s called quality time and not just time).
Unfortunately, there are other things that can be obstacles to spending quality time together – things that are mostly out of our hands or just part of life. The key is figuring out how to manage those obstacles, even if you can’t eliminate them.
It’s easy to get locked into the idea that marital quality time equals date nights, but the truth is, it can – and should – come in other forms as well! Thinking outside the box about what constitutes quality time will not only give you more opportunities to fit it in, it will also make it more interesting and fun. Avoid the same-old by considering the following:
So there you have it: the ins and outs of quality time with your spouse. Hopefully this guide has helped you understand its importance and how you can make the most of it. Throughout your marriage, you’ll encounter obstacles to prioritizing that time together, but by learning to mitigate them and think outside the box, you’ll benefit your relationship in the long run.
They bring out the best in each other. Maybe you’ve said this about another couple or people have said it about you and your spouse. It’s a great compliment, but what does it mean, really? Is it something that only comes naturally or can you work on it? Does it fade over time? How do you know if you’re still doing it? While there’s no scientific formula for what it looks like, here are eight surefire signs that you and your spouse bring out the best in each other. Read More
It’s Friday afternoon. The weekend is just a few hours away. After another busy week, you can’t wait to relax with your family, get a few chores done, and possibly have some friends over for dinner one night. You text your spouse to see what you should pick up from the grocery store for said dinner, but you’re caught off guard by their response: “What dinner? We can’t have people over, we’re starting the downstairs bathroom remodel this weekend, remember?”
Uh-oh. You rack your brain trying to figure out how the wires got crossed. You swear you talked about having friends over…didn’t you? Plus, you weren’t planning on starting the bathroom for at least another few weeks. You sense an argument brewing… not a great way to start the weekend.
Can you relate to this scenario? Perhaps you know from firsthand experience that weekend fights can be a major bummer. So let’s explore four common weekend arguments – and how you can prevent them. Read More
How well do you know your partner? Probably pretty well. You know their tendencies and preferences that pop up on a daily basis. You have a good idea of their triggers and what gets them riled up in an argument. So here’s another question for you: When was the last time you learned something new about them?
When you’re first dating, it seems you’re constantly learning new things about each other, and you can’t get enough. You’re still getting to know all the different facets of one another, and you hear new stories and tidbits at every turn.
Flash forward to a point in time when you’ve been together for years. How often are you learning something new about each other now? While you and your spouse probably aren’t changing drastically on the daily, the fact is that you do grow and change as individuals over time. However, it’s often in ways that aren’t going to come up in your usual day-to-day conversations. So how do you keep up with these changes in each other? How do you keep learning new things about your spouse when you’ve been together for years? What if we challenged you to do just that? Sounds simple enough, right? Here are some tips to get you started: Read More
Have you ever made a lifestyle change? We often associate this term with health-related habits, like eating healthier, eliminating things like alcohol or tobacco, or being more physically active. But it can encompass a lot of other things, too. For example, maybe a big career change will have a significant impact on the pace of your day-to-day life. Perhaps one of you has decided to stay home with the kids, and that means dialing back on any extra spending. Maybe you’re moving from big city to a rural area, away from friends, family, and all the conveniences you’re used to.
While there are many different circumstances that could have fueled the change, chances are it wasn’t easy, and it didn’t happen overnight. If you and your spouse are facing a similar situation together, it might feel daunting. In order for it to be sustainable, you’ll have to be on the same page and have each other’s full support. Here are five crucial things you’ll want to discuss: Read More
You don’t want to rock the boat. It’s probably not that big of a deal. Maybe you’re overreacting. You’ll bring it up another time.
It’s easy to come up with lots of reasons to avoid bringing up an issue with your spouse. Most people don’t want to start a fight or cause conflict when things seem to be rolling along smoothly. It’s understandable to want to keep the peace. But here’s the thing: avoiding dealing with issues in your marriage has a way of coming back to bite you later. Most problems don’t just go away on their own. So let’s explore four big reasons to stop avoiding the issue. Read More
There’s something to be said for being comfortable enough with your spouse that you don’t mind sitting in companionable silence. It doesn’t feel awkward. Neither of you feels obligated to fill the space. You’re content just being together.
On the flip side, your spouse is also the person with whom you talk to the most. You enjoy both serious and silly conversations about everything under the sun… or at least you used to. Lately, it seems like your exchanges have become more mundane than meaningful, more stale than stimulating. If this sounds like you, you’re not alone. Over time, as you settle into the routines and obligations of daily life, the quality of your conversations can take a hit. While this isn’t a problem on occasion, it can gradually have a negative effect on how connected you feel to each other. The good news is you can avoid this path! Let’s explore 8 tips to revitalize your conversations. Read More
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