Now that we’ve finished opening (or exchanging!) presents, let’s talk about being present!
The more tasks we can accomplish at once, the more productive we feel. We must admit though, that often these are tasks we can complete rather mindlessly— folding laundry while texting your friend and catching up on your favorite show. Your relationship, however, should not be one of these things; it deserves your full attention. Read More
We know that family of origin has a huge effect on how you spend your holidays. For couples, it is a time often filled with obligations and assumptions based on the traditions that you grew up with. For example, in my family Christmas Day has always been the “big” day, while Christmas Eve is more low-key. In my husband’s family, the opposite is true. In my family, we exchange gifts, but it’s not the “main event.” With my in-laws, the living room turns into a sea of presents and wrapping paper; it’s a pretty big deal.
It is assumed we will spend these respective days with our respective families and that we will follow the gift-giving guidelines of each. There is also a sense of obligation to make sure that we are spending adequate amounts of time with each side. It can get overwhelming sometimes. Although we do not have children yet, I know that the complications of these dynamics will multiply when that time comes. Couples with kids or those who are remarried: I’m sure you know what I’m talking about.
I am a realist. Often people describe us as glass-half-empty-people, but I say I describe the glass as it is. In actuality.
In my life this looks like a lot of direct communication, analysis, planning. I plan for what I think will happen, not what I hope will happen or fear might occur. If I am wrong I adjust my understanding of the situation and plan accordingly for next time.
Let’s talk about them.
The term “relationship goals” is casually tossed around on social media to convey admiration, or sometimes envy, of an action/gesture/moment that you want to see in your own relationship. Sometimes when you tag a post with #RelationshipGoals, you are completely serious, and sometimes, well, it might be with a hint of facetiousness. Regardless, the idea that we are admiring others’ relationships, based on as little as one photo, can be unhealthy or healthy depending on your mindset. Read More
Any comic book nerds out there? I can’t honestly say that I am one myself, but perhaps I am by proxy. My husband grew up with the worlds of Marvel and DC Comics, so whenever we watch one of the latest blockbusters based on these characters, I get a “supplemental” history of their storyline. (Sidenote: who knew there were so many X-Men?)
One thing I’ve come to learn is that most of these characters have what is known as an “origin story.” In comic book terms, an origin story is “an account or backstory revealing how a character or team gained their superpowers and/or the circumstances under which they became superheroes or supervillains.” (Wikipedia) It got me thinking that perhaps relationships have origin stories, too. Read More
Fall is just around the corner. Here in Minnesota, we can feel that telltale crispness in the air. Sales on school supplies have been replaced by bins of Halloween candy. With students returning to school, now is a good time to review the ABC’s and 1,2,3’s of your relationship! Read More
If Ben & Jennifer and Blake & Miranda can’t make marriage work, how can I?
Traditional media and social media are making it hard for couples to stay positive about marriage. (Like it isn’t hard enough already!) Negative press for marriage is everywhere. While waiting in line at the grocery store, you are bound to see magazine covers plastered with the news of yet another celebrity marriage coming to an end. Tune into the evening news or skim internet headlines and what do you find? A security breach of a dating website targeting married people looking to cheat! On the flip side, we often see edited representations of marriage while scrolling through our newsfeeds, giving the impression that picture-perfect marriages are the norm, and anything less than that is something to be ashamed of.
Sometimes after watching the news or scrolling through social media, you might find yourself thinking, “Marriage—what’s the point?!” or, “I wish my marriage was as perfect as theirs!”
Don’t let these distorted portrayals of marriage discourage you. Here are 5 things to remember: Read More
If you Google “quotes about complacency”, you will see many different iterations of the same idea — complacency is the enemy. Companies get complacent, and they begin to lose customers to their competitors. Employees get complacent, and they are shocked when they are passed over for promotions or are let go altogether.
Complacency slowly corrodes the motivation, desire, and potential for progress, improvement, change, growth, and ultimately success. Apply that to relationships, and… yikes.
The scary thing about complacency in relationships is that, by nature, it silently takes root and eats away at intimacy. You don’t notice it lurking because hey, things are “fine.” You’re both just busy with work, and the kids, and your separate hobbies, and any number of other things. Why rock the boat? Then one day you find yourselves standing on opposite sides of a Grand Canyon-sized chasm, wondering, “How did we get here?” Read More
If my partner forgave me for a hurt I caused, why do I still feel so raw and disappointed in myself? Why does that feeling sit in my mind and my heart, reminding me of the poor choice I made and the pain I created? Aren’t the steps for seeking and granting forgiveness supposed to help heal the situation? Why does this still weigh me down? Why do I still feel bad? Read More
© Prepare/Enrich
