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4 Different Ways You Support Your Spouse

4 Different Ways You Support Your Spouse

By Resilience5 Comments

Supporting your spouse seems like a given, right? Maybe your wedding vows didn’t express it in those exact words (or maybe they did), but the central tenet remains: the lifelong commitment you’ve made to each other includes supporting each other through whatever life throws your way.

When we think of supporting someone, we often associate it with them being in a weakened state or in a time of need. In marriage, that can certainly be the case. Other times, supporting your spouse can take a much more subtle form.

Are you appreciating all the ways your spouse supports you, or missing opportunities to support them? Let’s explore the wide range of ways you can support each other throughout your marriage. Read More

June 26, 2024
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Couple Sitting on Deck Chairs and Kissing

Closing the Gap Between Expectations and Reality

By Relationship Basics8 Comments

Some say the key to avoiding disappointment is to keep your expectations low. Some even go so far as to say just don’t have any expectations at all. In some cases, this might work. Maybe your spirits have been crushed by your favorite sports team too many times to count, and you can’t simply invest any more emotional energy into getting your hopes up. Or perhaps you avoid reading any reviews of a movie you’ve wanted to see so that your own reaction isn’t swayed by your expectations.

When it comes to relationships, however, having expectations can be healthy. They help to set a standard for what is or isn’t acceptable and provide a baseline for holding yourself and each other accountable. They have the potential to push us to be a better partner and to grow as a couple.

You could say there’s a sweet spot for expectations in marriage, a balance between aspirational and attainable. Unfortunately, getting into this “zone” doesn’t always happen naturally. Sometimes it can seem like you’re both doing everything you should be, but there’s still a gap between expectations and reality. How can you bridge this gap? Let’s explore. Read More

January 10, 2024
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Two couples laughing together after a mountain hike

How to Make New (Couple) Friends

By Family & Friends3 Comments

How to make friends is a social skill you learn early on in life, far before you know what a social skill is. Looking back, you were probably encouraged to play with a neighbor at a playground or sit next to a kid in preschool. Over time you kind of figure out what you have in common with certain kids, find yourself drifting towards those who enjoy the same things you do, and lo and behold, you have a friend. As kids, we can even be quite blunt about it by straight up asking, “Do you want to be my friend?” We like to show off our BFF – best friend forever – even proclaiming that status through a special handshake or cheap matching jewelry. And just as quick as we begin friendships, we end them, exiling someone for being mean or having the audacity to sit by someone else at lunch.

The point of this is that as kids, making friends was usually pretty easy. It was a natural part of your development as a child. Your parents celebrated each new friendship, your environment (aka school) fostered friendship development, and you had tons of time to dedicate to nurturing those new relationships – basically you had time to play together.

But what happens when you get older, and you need/want to make new friends? It’s hard! You may not have the time, support system, or even skills to start new friendships. Another challenging aspect of developing friendships as adults is that you may be trying to build friendships as a couple, with other couples.

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April 14, 2021
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a smiling man spinning his wife around

To Be (Social) Or Not To Be: 5 Things to Talk About

By Quality Time, Relationship BasicsOne Comment

Believe it or not, our social lives can be a source of conflict. One partner needs more social interaction, while the other prefers much less. One person thinks the party is on Friday, but the other person is certain they told you Saturday. Throw in limited free time, kids, and other various circumstances, and things can turn into a mess pretty quickly.

One of the keys to navigating this challenge is obvious, but oh so important: clear and honest communication. Here are five things to make sure you’re talking about.

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March 31, 2021
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a smiling couple sitting on the back end of a red car

Spring Cleaning For Your Relationship

By Connection, Relationship Basics4 Comments

Ah, spring. Those first few warm days where people feel the urge to open the windows, dust away the cobwebs, and deep clean the grime that has accumulated over the winter. Relationships can benefit from a regular “clean up” as well, or in this context it could be more of a “check in.” Whether it’s once a year on your anniversary or as often as a weekly or monthly date night, make a point to touch base with each other on the state of your relationship. Here are some things you might have on your task list:

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March 24, 2021
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a couple holding hands walking into the surf on a beach

Baby Steps to Relationship Growth

By Quality Time, Relationship BasicsOne Comment

Growing is part of life. Physically, mentally, emotionally, socially, spiritually, you name it – we grow in so many ways throughout our lives. The thing about growing, though, is that there isn’t a shortcut. We usually can’t skip over the hard, uncomfortable, or awkward parts even though we’d sometimes like to (middle school flashbacks – yikes). Even though it might not seem like it at the time, those stages are valuable. We learn a lot from them, often gaining experience and insight that helps us down the road. Through this, we also gain the confidence to stretch the boundaries of our current state, growing as we tackle the next step.

It’s not entirely surprising then, that our confidence and motivation can take a hit when our “next step” is too big.  Sometimes we go for it and fall, and we say, “Okay, not trying that again anytime soon!” Sometimes we just can’t even fathom how we’ll make it, so we don’t even try. 

Have you ever experienced this? How about in your relationship?

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March 17, 2021
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a smiling couple talking and sitting on a doorstep

Can I Get Your Advice?

By Relationship Basics6 Comments

Has anyone ever asked you for relationship advice? How did you respond?

Chances are, we’ll experience this in some form or another in our lives. Maybe it’s a good friend seeking your input, a younger sibling looking for guidance, or a coworker venting about their significant other. Whatever the situation, you’ll have a choice of how to respond. That response, and the ease with which you give it, depends a lot on the context of your relationship with that person, as well as your own relationship experience. Your comfort level could range from “Argh, I don’t know what to say,” to “TMI alert!”

No matter where you fall on this spectrum, here are some things to keep in mind:

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February 24, 2021
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a family standing by a dinner table in a backyard, cropped to show only faces

How to Become Positive Marriage Role Models

By Premarital, Relationship Basics, Resilience6 Comments

We know we learn through observing others – this is natural human behavior. Previously on the blog, we’ve talked about what marriage lessons we learn from our families – either as a young kid or even into our adulthood when we’re so kindly given those one-liner pieces of advice from family members. Thinking about those lessons, we encouraged you to consider what things you carry forward and strive to live up to in your marriage and relationships, as what you’d rather leave behind. Your family has good intentions, but they’re likely not all marriage experts.

What happens when you flip the question, to ask not about what you learned, but what can you teach others?

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February 17, 2021
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