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marriage

A couple snacking together on the couch.

The “Boring” Skills That Your Relationship Depends On

By Relationship Basics11 Comments

Assertiveness and active listening. Zzzzzzzzz.

We know. These words don’t exactly sound very exciting, which is unfortunate because they are so important! At Prepare/Enrich, we consider them foundational skills – what all other skills are built on. Without assertiveness and active listening, working through conflict becomes impossible, talking about money is an exercise in frustration, and growing as a couple is, frankly, unlikely.

Having trouble remembering what an assertive statement is or what active listening sounds like? Here’s a quick refresh:

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July 15, 2020
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A couple smiling and staring into each others eyes.

How to Fill Your Free Time (Without a Fight)

By Quality TimeNo Comments

When the world slowed down for a few months, many of us got a taste of what it was like to have more free time, albeit free time stuck at home. We learned how to bake new treats (banana bread? sourdough?), organized every drawer and cabinet, and maybe even took on some home improvement projects. But by now, we’re all itching to do the things we postponed or longed for during our days at home. On top of that anticipation, it’s also summer, which usually brings long weekends, vacations, and lots of get-togethers. What were previously “normal” decisions might now be met with a new sense of unease or anxiousness about being with and around others. Combine these factors with the urge to make up for the adventures we would’ve had this spring, and you have a situation that could lead to some heated discussions with your partner about where and how you’ll spend your precious free time.

Suffice it to say, this summer brings some new challenges for your relationship.

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July 8, 2020
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A couple laughing together.

Help for Help Saboteurs

By Relationship Basics10 Comments

Are you a help saboteur? (Do you sabotage your partner’s help?) Some might understand what this means without further explanation. For those who don’t, you might be a help saboteur if:

  • You wish for your partner to take some things off your plate, but when they do, they don’t do it “right”.
  • You feel very strongly that the “right” way (aka your way), is the only way.
  • Your motto is “If you want it done right, do it yourself.” (Just kidding – sort of.)

If this sounds like you, don’t worry—you’re not alone. Millions of relationships are affected by this every day.

All joking aside, in the months leading up to the arrival of our first child, I knew I was going to have to get better at accepting help from my husband around the house; I simply would not be able to do it all.

I also knew that I would be annoyed.

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July 1, 2020
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A husband and wife and their two children cooking breakfast together.

3 Ways Your Childhood Impacts Your Relationship

By Relationship Basics8 Comments

Let’s go back in time. Think about when you were a kid. Are there things your family did that you were later surprised to learn was not how everyone else did it?

Did you keep butter in the fridge or on the table? Were birthdays a week-long celebration or not that big of a deal? Did you sit down at the dinner table every night at 6:00pm on the dot? Are there things you do a certain way today simply because that’s how it was always done in your home growing up?

The fact is, what we experience in our family of origin (which is the people who raise us and who we spend most of our childhood with) often does show up in your couple relationship in one way or another. How so? The following scenarios demonstrate three ways family of origin experiences can manifest in your relationship:

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June 24, 2020
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A swing at an outdoor wedding.

4 Wedding Challenges That Will Benefit Your Marriage

By Premarital, Relationship Basics, Resilience10 Comments

Wedding season is in full swing right now, or at least it would be during a normal year. The reality is, even if you don’t have to cancel or postpone your big day, there’s a chance that things might look different than you envisioned. Feeling disappointment and sense of grief is normal and valid. We understand all the planning and resources that go into these momentous events! But we also want to encourage you to keep your eye on the prize – a long, happy marriage.

Here are four challenges you might be facing for your 2020 wedding – and how they might actually be an opportunity to strengthen your marriage in the long run.

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June 17, 2020
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A couple hugging at a lake at sunset.

Navigating the Pandemic as Newlyweds

By Connection, Quality Time15 Comments

I was talking to a friend last week, sharing stories about our weekend. She and her husband had celebrated their first anniversary as a married couple, in true quarantine style, with homemade pasta and a bottle of chilled wine that had been left on their front porch by a dear friend. She made a comment that struck me as interesting – “Our first year of marriage was certainly not what I imagined.”

In that first year, they both had major changes with their careers, bought a home together, and most unplanned of all: weathered 3 months (and counting) of a global pandemic. While many of those events were welcome and brought joy to their relationship, she delved deeper in her reflection that it was more the amount of change, challenge, and cooperation between the two of them that she didn’t anticipate. She, like many newlyweds, thought that the first year would be a breeze, a blissful journey together living life. I can relate. I myself just celebrated nine months married to my husband – also qualifying us as newlyweds navigating a different first chapter of marriage than we envisioned.

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June 10, 2020
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A couple holding hands in a field at sunset.

Your Emotional Energy Spending Habits

By Connection, Resilience10 Comments

How do you spend your emotional energy?

The world is heavy. We feel it. It’s hard to escape. And the weight of it all might be seeping into your relationship. It’s not a question of how to build a fortress to prevent the events of your community or society from penetrating your relationship; it’s a question of what amount of energy you devote to feeling those feelings, and at what cost.

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June 3, 2020
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A man carrying a woman into the surf at a beach.

3 Reasons to Celebrate Something Today

By Connection, Resilience7 Comments

What do you celebrate in your relationship?

Do you go all out for every birthday and anniversary or are you in a season of life where you barely have time to yell, “Happy Anniversary!” across the room as you head off in separate directions?

Do you celebrate the big milestones? What about the small victories? Do you still commemorate your dating anniversary? What about the anniversary of when you first met?

The thing is, we choose whether we want to make celebrations a priority, whether we celebrate both the big and small occasions, and whether we do that through grand or mundane gestures. By doing so, we create our own relationship celebration “culture.” 

So why is this important?

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May 20, 2020
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A couple hugging in the middle of a city street.

Things to Take With You From Quarantine

By Quality Time, Relationship Basics8 Comments

Our exact timelines will vary, but we’ve all been in this for a while now. Quarantine, lockdown, shelter-in-place, or whatever you want to call the new normal we’ve been living. Depending on where you live, you could be pivoting towards opening up and going back to something resembling life “before.” For some of us, life will continue to unfold in restricted, socially-distant reality. We hope that over the last weeks and months, you’ve been able use some of your time at home to invest in your relationship. As you prepare to step back into the hustle and bustle of life, we encourage you to reflect on the things you want to take with you and carry on from this time. Yes, we know there are probably many things you’d like to leave behind, but there has been some good that has come out of staying home and slowing down your pace of life.

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May 13, 2020
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A couple holding hands and staring into each others eyes in a field.

5 Ways to Come Out of This Stronger Than Ever

By Relationship Basics9 Comments

Every day we are presented with opportunities to strengthen our relationship. Most of the time these opportunities are disguised as ordinary interactions or situations. Other times we’re presented with circumstances that completely throw us for a loop. (Oh hi, COVID-19!) When we don’t have any control over the circumstances, we do have control over how we react to them.

In our recent Rally for Relationships livestream event, Jocelyn and Aaron Freeman talked about how the current situation can either strain or strengthen your relationship. Here are five possible relationship strains you might be facing right now and strengthening solutions to help you come out stronger.

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April 29, 2020
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