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The Opposite of a Marriage Recap

The Opposite of a Marriage Recap

By Resilience4 Comments

The “Your Year in Retrospect”-type recaps are pretty popular these days. Deep down, we know they’re probably just clever marketing tactics, but we can’t help but be at least a little bit interested in seeing our listening/sleeping/purchasing/exercising habits quantified in an engaging way.

What if this was applied to your marriage? Of course, we don’t have someone tracking all of our marriage behaviors or a complex algorithm to analyze that data, and this might be for the best. However, we can’t deny that there is value in reflecting on the past – whether it’s a calendar year or another year of marriage. It’s a great way to learn more about yourself, your partner, and your relationship. (We wrote a whole post about that here.)

Okay, so maybe knowing you had seven arguments about weekend plans wouldn’t be the most helpful (or practical) thing. But what if we turned this idea on its head? What if we made it aspirational and forward-looking? How could we use this framework to quantify and set marriage goals for the year ahead? Read More

January 2, 2025
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Avoiding the Post-Holiday Marriage Funk

Avoiding the Post-Holiday Marriage Funk

By Resilience5 Comments

You’ve probably heard of the post-holiday blues, but what about a post-holiday marriage funk? The idea is the same – after a couple weeks of indulging in the parties, festivities, treats, and fixings, the return to normalcy when it’s all over can seem like a very rude awakening. If you’re both feeling moody and irritable individually, it’s not far-fetched to think you might take it out on each other – or fall into some negative relationship habits. Needless to say, this isn’t the best way to start out the new year.

Of course, this outcome isn’t inevitable by any means. Starting off strong – with intention – can set a positive tone for the coming months. Wondering how to start now? Here are 4 tips to consider: Read More

December 18, 2024
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4 Surprising Ways You Invest In Your Marriage

4 Surprising Ways You Invest in Your Marriage

By Resilience4 Comments

When you think of investing in something, what comes to mind? If money immediately pops into your head, you’re probably not alone. It’s true – investing is often associated with finances. But in this post we’ll be talking about what is arguably the most important investment in your life – your marriage!

When you get married, you’re investing all you have into that commitment – financially, sure – but also on levels much deeper than that. Energy, time, emotion, love – you put all of those eggs into the basket that is your marriage. You’re banking on a lifelong commitment and a future together.

So what does this look like in the context of everyday life? Here are four surprising ways you invest in your marriage: Read More

June 19, 2024
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a couple sitting on a mountain top overlooking a mountain range, cropped to show only chest up

Make These Tweaks to Reach Your Marriage Goals

By Resilience4 Comments

So you and your spouse set about to make some positive changes in your marriage. You’re both feeling motivated, inspired, and capable of reaching these goals together – that’s great! Fast forward a couple months down the road. Are you still chugging along optimistically?

It’s okay if the answer is no. You’re not alone if that initial energy has worn off, your progress has faltered, or you’ve given up altogether. Truth be told, this is common when working towards anything – whether it’s completing a DIY home project or achieving your marriage goals. When you encounter some kind of obstacle or setback, it’s easy to get discouraged, lose motivation, or resign yourself to the idea that things can’t change – which often leads to giving up.

The good news? It doesn’t have to be this way! We’ve got some simple tweaks you can make to help you keep going and achieve the positive changes you’re striving for in your marriage. Read More

March 6, 2024
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Getting Aligned When You Disagree

Getting Aligned When You Disagree

By Conflict2 Comments

Is there an issue that you and your spouse seem to perpetually disagree on?

If it’s a minor, superficial thing – how to correctly load the dishwasher or whether the toilet paper should go over or under – it’s probably no big deal. You might have a good-natured debate about it or tease each other about doing it wrong. At the end of the day, no one is losing sleep over it.

But what happens when you simply can’t reach agreement on a bigger issue, one that has a significant impact on your marriage and family? While you might try avoiding the topic, more than likely you’ll need to face it. And if you’ve never been able to see eye to eye on it, that can feel daunting, frustrating, and disheartening. You might find yourself wondering, “Where do we go from here? Will we always fight about this? Is it going to damage our relationship?”

Luckily, there are ways to break this stalemate and begin working toward a resolution together. The key is working toward alignment – not total agreement. Unsure how to start moving in that direction? Here are some tips. Read More

May 3, 2023
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Habit Stacking Your Way to a Stronger Marriage

Stacking Your Way to a Stronger Marriage

By Relationship Basics8 Comments

When the new year rolls around, you probably hear a lot about resolutions and goals – whether you’re setting them or not. The thing about both of them is they tend to be a bit abstract. While it’s great to be ambitious, resolutions and goals that are too broad, vague, or unrealistic can actually have the opposite effect that you intended. You end up feeling unmotivated – like you’ve failed before you’ve even begun. At that point, why even try at all?

Of course, the key to avoiding this letdown is to a) adjust your goals and resolutions to be reasonable and specific, and b) break them down into smaller, achievable chunks. These smaller chunks might come in the form of “micro” goals leading up to a bigger achievement. Or you might think of them in terms of developing new habits that support your resolution or goal. Read More

January 4, 2023
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Family Unpacking After Moving

5 Under-Appreciated Marriage Milestones

By Resilience5 Comments

Getting married. Having children. Buying a house. Celebrating an anniversary. Some milestones get all the hype.

Okay, these things are a pretty big deal – definitely worth celebrating. But chances are you’ve felt a sense of pride and accomplishment over other “smaller” achievements – and for good reason! Although they tend to be overshadowed by the more renowned examples, there are many under-appreciated milestones throughout marriage that have a big impact on your relationship and confidence as a couple. We’ve rounded up a few of our favorites: Read More

May 11, 2022
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A couple holding hands and staring into the distance.

6 Steps to Make Relationship Goals Reality

By Relationship Basics, Resilience3 Comments

Let’s talk about relationship goals. No, not the vague social media hashtag, but the actual specific goals that you and your partner have for your own unique relationship. And that’s where it can get hard – putting your good intentions into real action instead of just remaining vague and abstract ideas of what you should or could be.

The CHANGE Model gives you concrete steps to help you develop an action plan for your relationship goals:

Read More

January 6, 2021
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A couple holding hands on a mountaintop.

2 Reasons We Give Up On Goals (And How to Overcome Them)

By Connection5 Comments

Longing for self-improvement or achievement is an all too familiar feeling we seem to get around this time of year. We look forward to what’s to come and think that something magical will happen on January 1st to boost us up with energy to hit new milestones. These goals we set for ourselves can be sourced from all aspects of life. We want to eat healthier and exercise more. We want to be more present with our families and less connected to our smart phones. We want to achieve more at work and secure that promotion. It’s natural to want to get better and the marking of a new year feels like a natural time to set those goals.

However, we’ve also all likely felt the devastation of realizing we made nearly zero progress towards a goal once we’re about six or so weeks into the new year. The novelty of a new routine has worn off or the challenge of trying something different has just become really hard, so we cut ourselves some slack on the goal. We lower what we’re reaching for, push out the timeline we set, or we just give up entirely.

Why is this? You start to wonder. I’m capable, I have the desire, why do I stall out when the work to get there feels mundane or difficult?

Read More

December 30, 2020
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Here’s a Secret to a Happier Relationship

By UncategorizedOne Comment

We’ve heard it before.  Relationships can, and will (if we let them), fall in a rut.  We know they take energy, we know they take effort, we’ve heard this all before.  Amongst the extensive amount of stale relationship advice we’ve heard time and time again, this one stands out as most over-used.

But what if we told you that putting in the effort in a new and exciting way can actually make you a happier couple? Read More

April 12, 2018
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