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expectations

A couple embracing on their wedding day.

Why You Need Not Marry the Wrong Person

By Uncategorized5 Comments

A letter from our VP:

The New York Times most read story of 2016 recently popped back up on the most popular list again, nearly a year after in first ran last May. As is often the case for the most popular story, the topic was love and relationships: “Why You Will Marry the Wrong Person” by Alain de Botton.   A primary argument de Botton offers to support his pessimistic title is that couples entering the commitment of marriage can’t possibly know enough about themselves or each other to make an informed, data-driven decision to spend (or at least plan to spend) the rest of their lives together.  Our society is such that a person “in love” fails to get past the shiny veneer and discover the idiosyncrasies, the warts, the psychoses of their potential spouse…the ways in which they “are crazy.”  Even when preceded by years of dating, the curtain is pulled back only after vows have been exchanged.  Real life sets in and exposes expectations, personality quirks and manifestations of past hurts that can form a toxic brew – a vicious cycle of reactions and overreactions that severely test or even destroy the relationship. Read More

April 28, 2017
Love0

Mold Your Melancholy Mondays

By UncategorizedNo Comments

Have you ever woken up one morning, nothing is actually wrong, but you feel like you’ve got a huge weight on your shoulders?  Or that your body aches, even though you darn well know you didn’t exercise the night before?  Or that it seems to take much more concentration to smile than usual?  We all have self-pity days – days where nothing is actually wrong but we can’t shake this overwhelming feeling of melancholy.

Discomfort is a natural part of life, not usually one we like to shine a light on.  A part we tend to shove in a dark corner and pretend like it doesn’t exist.  However, we should bring those feelings to light and talk about them so we can normalize a completely natural part of life. Read More

April 6, 2017
Love0
A couple biking together at sunset.

How Being Vulnerable Changed Our Relationship

By UncategorizedNo Comments

Counseling seems scary.
But here’s a secret that could protect your future marriage- it’s not scary!

See, it isn’t counseling itself that is nerve-racking (though seeking help does often come with a stigma), but rather, it is the knowledge that at that counseling appointment, you will have to be vulnerable. You will be asked to bare your heart and soul – that’s what makes most people run the other direction. Then add your fiancé sitting next to you on that couch ALSO being vulnerable – you can see why many couples are unwilling to consider premarital as a part of their pre-wedding preparations.

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March 25, 2017
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A group of friends dancing with the bride at her wedding.

The Importance of Intention

By Premarital2 Comments

Planning a wedding has been classically described as a huge undertaking of time that costs a lot of money and has a ton of moving parts. With the average US wedding costing nearly $27,000, this description is a reality for many couples. From selecting the perfect dress, to the beautiful venue, to delicious food, and enjoyable entertainment, the task seems daunting. Especially when well-meaning family, friends, and about-to-be in-laws jump in with opinions as well as society as a whole suggesting the wedding has to happen in a certain way.

I’ll let you in on a little secret – Read More

March 9, 2017
Love0
An open book on a coffee table in front of a wood burning fireplace.

Relight the Fire in Your Relationship

By UncategorizedNo Comments

The snow has fallen, wool socks have been pulled out of storage, fire places have been lit, winter is here and it has plateaued: don’t let your relationship do the same.  Here’s the thing about complacency, it’s a natural part of a relationship’s journey, but it can be avoided.  Leading up to National Marriage Week, the team at PREPARE/ENRICH wants to encourage you to keep your relationship on your mind.  When you do this, you are already taking a step in the right direction to combat complacency. Read More

February 2, 2017
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Bring Back the Butterflies Contest

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bbbutterflies logo

Some first dates turn out flawless, they go exactly as planned. Your shirt remains free of pit stains, you manage to make your date laugh several times throughout the date, you hear doves singing in the distance, and at the end of the night, you seal the deal with a kiss. Other first dates? Not so much. Some end in heartbreak, some end in belly laughs, others may end in a shocking surprise.

I never had an outrageous or over the top first date, but my story makes me laugh every time I reminisce about it. I had been texting back and forth with this fascinating guy I had met (spoiler alert – he’s now my husband!). We decided to have a relaxed first date on a week night to see if the conversation was as good in person as it was over text. He invited me over to his house and we had planned to order pizza and watch movies. It had come to his attention that I had an embarrassingly long list of classic movies I had never seen and he was bound and determined to check a couple off the list. Read More

January 20, 2017
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a tiny Christmas present on a plate at a formal Christmas dinner.

3 Quick Tips to Handle Holiday Conflict

By Family & FriendsNo Comments

Imagine you are sitting at the outrageously decorated holiday table that your sister spent all morning setting.   Your most loved relatives are sitting around you, chatting, laughing, and grazing.  Your uncle starts up a conversation with your husband about politics from across the table.  He makes a comment about an immigration policy and you completely disagree with him.  You begin to feel agitated, your heart rate is increasing and your hands start to sweat.  On top of the agitation you are experiencing, your anxiety level starts to rise.  What is your husband thinking?  How much longer should you wait to hear your uncle out before you chime in with your opinion?  Should you chime in? Read More

December 15, 2016
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faded clothespins on a clothesline.

To Do or Not to Do

By UncategorizedNo Comments

Time and time again, couples are faced with the struggle of defining their roles in their relationships.  Who will clean the bathroom this weekend?  Who is going to make dinner tomorrow? Who will wash the dishes tonight?  What may start out as a simple chore can catapult into a battle for acknowledgement, assurance, or even power.

How often are you faced with the struggle of doing the laundry for the third time this month because your partner doesn’t seem to be bothered when the laundry basket begins to topple over with dirty clothes?  You know it is their turn to do it, but you wish they would do it without you having to ask them. Read More

November 10, 2016
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