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expectations

Couple Sitting on Deck Chairs and Kissing

Closing the Gap Between Expectations and Reality

By Relationship Basics8 Comments

Some say the key to avoiding disappointment is to keep your expectations low. Some even go so far as to say just don’t have any expectations at all. In some cases, this might work. Maybe your spirits have been crushed by your favorite sports team too many times to count, and you can’t simply invest any more emotional energy into getting your hopes up. Or perhaps you avoid reading any reviews of a movie you’ve wanted to see so that your own reaction isn’t swayed by your expectations.

When it comes to relationships, however, having expectations can be healthy. They help to set a standard for what is or isn’t acceptable and provide a baseline for holding yourself and each other accountable. They have the potential to push us to be a better partner and to grow as a couple.

You could say there’s a sweet spot for expectations in marriage, a balance between aspirational and attainable. Unfortunately, getting into this “zone” doesn’t always happen naturally. Sometimes it can seem like you’re both doing everything you should be, but there’s still a gap between expectations and reality. How can you bridge this gap? Let’s explore. Read More

The Hidden Complexities of Household Tasks

By Relationship Dynamics6 Comments

Figuring out who does what around the house can sometimes seem like the more practical, straightforward part of a marriage. You can write down a list of tasks, divide them up, and check them off when you’re done. Simple as that! Or is it?

For some couples, a harmonious division of household responsibilities comes naturally with few issues. For others, it can be an ongoing source of conflict and resentment. For many, it falls somewhere in between. It turns out that several factors make running a household more complicated than it seems. Let’s dive into some of them. Read More

4 Common Weekend Arguments & How to Prevent Them

By Conflict3 Comments

It’s Friday afternoon. The weekend is just a few hours away. After another busy week, you can’t wait to relax with your family, get a few chores done, and possibly have some friends over for dinner one night. You text your spouse to see what you should pick up from the grocery store for said dinner, but you’re caught off guard by their response: “What dinner? We can’t have people over, we’re starting the downstairs bathroom remodel this weekend, remember?”

Uh-oh. You rack your brain trying to figure out how the wires got crossed. You swear you talked about having friends over…didn’t you? Plus, you weren’t planning on starting the bathroom for at least another few weeks. You sense an argument brewing… not a great way to start the weekend.

Can you relate to this scenario? Perhaps you know from firsthand experience that weekend fights can be a major bummer. So let’s explore four common weekend arguments – and how you can prevent them. Read More

The Do's & Dont's of Disappointment

The Do’s and Don’ts of Disappointment

By Conflict8 Comments

Disappointment is pretty much a part of life. Maybe you’re disappointed in a movie you had high hopes for or in the way your homemade cheesecake turned out. You might feel displeased for a short period of time, but it’s nothing you’ll lose sleep over. Other times, disappointment can run deeper, such as when someone you love – like your spouse – lets you down in a way that feels significant and personal. In these situations, you may not get over it so quickly. So what should you do? Read More

4 Essential Marriage Tips to Guide Your Year

4 Essential Marriage Tips to Guide Your Year

By Relationship Basics6 Comments

Do you and your spouse make resolutions or set goals as a couple? Do you use January 1st as the starting line for improving your marriage? Or is it just another day on the calendar? The truth is, there’s no correct answer. Regardless of your feelings about making New Year’s resolutions, we’re sharing some essential tips to help guide your mindset about marriage this year. Read More

Couple holding hands outdoors winter

5 Common Sources of Holiday Conflict

By Conflict2 Comments

Is conflict with your spouse putting a damper on your holiday spirit? If you and your spouse are arguing more than usual lately, it’s understandable. There’s something about this season that can stir up issues for even the most harmonious of couples. Here are five common sources of holiday conflict – and how to resolve them. Read More

Couple Walking in Shallow Water and Smiling expectations

The Lowdown on Expectations

By Relationship Dynamics3 Comments

What’s something you control that can completely change your perspective, even when you don’t realize it exists? This might sound like some sort of brainteaser riddle, but it’s actually a key to feeling happier and more satisfied in your relationship. The answer? Well, if you guessed expectations, then you’re right!

Yep, our very own expectations have the power to make us feel disappointed or pleasantly surprised, as if we’re failing or succeeding, unfulfilled or content. If you’re curious about why, and how this insight affects your marriage, keep reading. Read More

Couple relaxing on the beach

4 Tips for a Fight-Free Vacation

By Conflict, Quality Time4 Comments

This is it. You’re finally doing it. You’re going on vacation, just you and your spouse. You can’t even remember the last time, it’s been so long. Will it be everything you dreamed of? Or will you get into a fight on the way to the airport, setting the tone for the rest of the trip?

If you’re like a lot of couples, taking a vacation just the two of you is a rare treat. So when it happens, the last thing you want is for this cherished time to be spoiled by unnecessary conflict. With that in mind, here are some tips for ensuring you and your spouse have the best time possible on your next getaway. Read More

A Couple Standing in the Farm Field

3 Secrets to Being Better Teammates

By Relationship Basics9 Comments

We say it often: remember that you and your spouse are on the same team. The advice seems straightforward enough, but let’s be honest – it’s not always easy to follow through. You don’t always feel like teammates. If you’re not aligned on what you’re hoping to achieve, it can seem like you’re actually working against each other. Sometimes it might even feel like you have to take things on alone. Fortunately, there are ways you set yourselves up to be better teammates to each other. Here are three secrets to make this happen: Read More

Cheerful newlywed couple dancing on sandy coast on sunny day

4 Common Newlywed Arguments

By Conflict, Premarital12 Comments

Newlyweds arguing. Does that seem like an oxymoron? While it might depend on how long you define the newlywed period, we usually associate newlyweds with the honeymoon phase – that blissful time after the wedding when everything seems carefree and happy. You see each other as pretty much perfect, and hearts float around you as you gaze at each other adoringly.

Okay, that might be a bit cliché – and not very realistic. The truth is, the first years of marriage are often quite challenging. As you start your life together and continue to get to know all of the different facets of each other, new issues pop up that may not have had the opportunity to reveal themselves before. Here are four common topics you might argue about as newlyweds. Read More