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marriage

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5 Habits to Hold Onto Throughout Your Marriage

By Connection, Relationship Basics19 Comments

Brushing your teeth. Staying active. Paying your bills on time. These are small habits that can potentially have a big impact on your wellbeing. If you forget to do them once or twice, it’s probably not the end of the world. But stop doing them altogether, and the results could be less than ideal.

There are similarly small habits that, over time, can greatly affect the vitality of your marriage. You might start out doing them faithfully, then gradually, they become more and more sporadic, until you no longer do them at all. While their absence doesn’t necessarily signal that you no longer love each other, their presence enriches your relationship with a consistent connection and respect that stands the test of time. These are the small habits to hold onto throughout your marriage. Read More

April 13, 2022
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woman giving man piggyback ride laughing

Marriage Successes in Disguise

By Relationship Dynamics17 Comments

Do you ever feel like you’re failing in various aspects of marriage? If so, you’re not alone. Marriage is hard. Sure, there are “best practices,” but there’s no instruction manual that lays it out step by step. So it can feel like you’re floundering – making it up as you go and unsure whether you’re getting anywhere. Are we doing this right?

We’ve got some good news for you. Sometimes things that feel like struggles or failures are actually successes in disguise. Curious about some examples? Read on. Read More

March 23, 2022
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Couple hugging in field

The Myth of Being Lucky in Love

By Relationship Basics, Resilience9 Comments

“Hard work beats talent when talent doesn’t work hard.” Have you heard this quote? Although it originated in the context of sports and athletic talent, the idea can be applied to relationships as well. Sure, we don’t usually think of couples as being talented in the art of marriage, per se. What’s more common is the idea that certain couples or individuals are lucky in love – that they’re so perfectly matched and have such good fortune, they don’t have to put any work into having a happy and satisfying relationship; it just comes naturally. They can just coast on their luck (in love), so to speak. What do you think? Do some couples have it this good? Do you feel like you and your partner fall into this category? Read More

March 16, 2022
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Couple sitting outside foreheads together holding hands

5 Times Your Spouse Needs Your Support The Most

By Relationship Basics11 Comments

An important part of marriage is being there for each other. It’s one of the underpinnings of a strong relationship, but it’s also, well, rather vague. Your vows may have specified for richer or poorer or in sickness and health, but the truth is, often the times in which we need that extra support are not always so clearly defined. They might seem like ordinary, “just part of life” circumstances. That, combined with getting wrapped up in the hustle of our own daily life demands means it’s easy to miss out on opportunities to truly support our partner when they need it most. Here are five times to be aware of when your spouse might need extra support. Read More

November 3, 2021
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couple sitting on exercise mat

Hidden Opportunities to Foster Connection

By Connection9 Comments

When it comes to quality time, we often think we need to carve out a special spot in the day/week/month for time to focus on each other and nurture our relationship. This is partially true. Date nights and daily check ins (or some variation of them) are definitely a must-have for maintaining a strong relationship. However, there are actually hidden opportunities to foster connection already tucked throughout your day-to-day life. Here are few to get you started: Read More

August 4, 2021
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couple walking hand in hand with child

5 Ways to Support Each Other as Parents

By Parenting10 Comments

As a couple, you learn to support each other in many facets of life. Perhaps you’ve cheered on your partner through a tough job search. Maybe their career is chugging along and you support them in the demands it requires of them. Or one of you has faced health issues and the other has been your rock. Maybe you’ve motivated and pushed each other to get out of debt. While these are all aspects that can come and go throughout your relationship, one area that takes many couples by surprise is parenting.

When you become parents, you’re both in a completely new element. It’s hard enough figuring out your own needs and identity as a parent, and knowing how to support your spouse is a challenge all its own. Parenting becomes another aspect of your couple relationship that thrives when you both feel supported by each other. Here are some ways you can weave support for each other as parents throughout your relationship: Read More

July 21, 2021
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4 Virtues of Great Marriage Mentors

By Premarital3 Comments

Have you heard of marriage mentors? They’re often part of premarital programs in churches or other couple-focused organizations. You may have worked with a marriage mentor couple yourself and experienced the benefits firsthand.

Marriage mentors are pretty much what they sound like: mentors for your marriage. Also called “mentor couples,” marriage mentors are couples who’ve been married long enough to have experience and perspective when it comes to the ups and downs of marriage. They provide support, encouragement, and guidance to engaged or newlywed couples. If you serve as a marriage mentor couple already, thank you for giving your time and experience to this important work!

There are some misconceptions about marriage mentors. It might seem like they need to have a perfect marriage and be experts on relationships, but that’s simply not the case. It turns out, the best mentors often have these surprising traits: Read More

July 14, 2021
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couple sharing an inside joke

How to Nurture Friendship with Your Spouse

By Connection21 Comments

Is your spouse your best friend? If you’re hesitant to say yes, that’s okay. It’s natural to think of your spouse, as well, your spouse. Your “best friend” might be that lifelong childhood buddy or your roommate from freshman year of college. It’s healthy to have good friendships outside your marriage.

But did you know research shows that couples who share a deep friendship are often happier in their relationship? Dr. John Gottman considers friendship the foundation of a strong marriage, and it makes sense. With friendship comes a mutual respect, care and affection for each other. Although physical intimacy is an important part of marriage, there are times and circumstances when it will be lower priority. A strong friendship will help you stay emotionally connected to each other and committed to your relationship. Here’s how you can nurture friendship with your spouse: Read More

June 30, 2021
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Couple holding hands on the beach in the summer

Renew Your Bond with a Summer Bucket List

By Connection, Quality Time4 Comments

Summer is officially in full swing, although with the recent heat wave that’s swept the country you’ve maybe been in summer mode for a few weeks already. There’s something about the longer days and warmer temps that makes everything feel lighter, laid back, and full of potential.

But sometimes, lots of potential means added pressure to maximize the time together, make memories, and enjoy life to the fullest. A summer bucket list is a fun, no-pressure way to make the most of the next three months while connecting with your partner. Here’s why: Read More

June 23, 2021
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Appreciating Your Partner’s Personality

By Relationship Dynamics8 Comments

Do you ever find yourself getting annoyed with your partner’s personality? Of course, you still love them unconditionally, but man, sometimes you just can’t help but wonder… Why do they do that? Why are they that way??

The ironic thing is that if you’ve been together for any length of time, the traits that start to annoy you are often the same ones that drew you to each other initially. That gregarious sense of humor now sometimes makes you grit your teeth. Those superb planning skills can feel more exhausting than efficient.

Personality traits tend to stay pretty consistent over the course of life, which means attempting to change them or waiting for them to change on their own is not the best use of anyone’s time, energy, or relationship! What’s more useful? Learning to appreciate your partner’s personality and manage your differences and similarities in positive ways. Here are some tips to do just that. Read More

June 16, 2021
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