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closeness

a blown up image of a monopoly piece on a monopoly board.

Monopoly, Money, and Marriage

By UncategorizedOne Comment

“I will buy water works from you for $250,” my husband offered.  We were playing our first family game of Monopoly.  Sitting around the board was my daughter who is eight, my son who is ten, my husband Brad, and myself.  Having played board games with my husband for 13 plus years, I knew what kind of overall “game player” he was – aggressive.  However, I had never played Monopoly with him.  He was definitely aggressive, buying up properties left and right and making deals on the side.

As the game went on, greed was evident, as well as spending all your money, taking big chances, and mortgaging property to pay bills.  I found myself reflecting on what we were indirectly teaching our kids about money by the way he and I were playing the game. I worried that Brad and I were modeling behaviors and values that we did not espouse in our management of money. Read More

an alarm clock on a table

The Rules of Taking a Time-Out

By Conflict, Relationship BasicsOne Comment

“We kept fighting and fighting and yelling and screaming and eventually we solved the whole problem completely!” Said no spouse, ever.

One of the most significant tools I help couples learn to implement into their conflict process is the time-out. Though I’m sure this term makes you think of a toddler sitting in the corner of a kitchen on their mini-stool with a parent standing over them shaking their finger, a time-out in the context of a marriage is a powerful and honorable thing to do.

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a man reading the newspaper at his kitchen table.

When Money Changes, Marriage Changes

By ResilienceOne Comment

When we think of retirement, we usually think about it in terms of money. Will we have enough to travel? Will we have enough to spoil our grandkids? Will we have enough to help our children? And most importantly, will we have enough money to live out our lives the way we want to?

When money changes because of retirement, other changes in the marriage happen without much consideration.

I recently sat down with several couples to learn about how retirement impacted their marriages. All had been married for over 25 years, with one couple even approaching their 60th wedding anniversary! To learn from the stories they shared, let’s consider the story of Mark and Marion. Read More

a laptop keyboard with reading glasses on it.

3 Ways to Get the Best Marriage Prep

By Uncategorized3 Comments

Expectations are high when planning a wedding. There is this need to find the perfect dress, delicious food, a picturesque location, and a photographer who can capture those special moments. Luckily, premarital counseling is becoming part of the wedding planning experience, but that begs the question – do couples have high expectations for their marriage prep?

Is anyone actually searching for the perfect program that combines guidance, assessment, and skill-building exercises? Read More

Make Your Next Date Memorable

By Uncategorized2 Comments

Couples at all stages may sometimes struggle with date ideas.  Whether you are a long-term, committed couple looking to change up your date routine, or a fresh couple looking for some new ideas, we have provided a list of fun, cheap dates that are bound to spark the butterflies.

According to Larson & Arp’s book, $10 Great Dates, a worthwhile date has a couple common elements: quality time together, time away from your regular routine, a shared activity, and conversation.  All of these date ideas will provide you with the foundation to make your date something memorable. Read More

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3 Things You Can Do to Prioritize Your Marriage Today

By UncategorizedOne Comment

All marriages require work! Your marriage doesn’t reach perfection the moment you tie the knot, and your relationship won’t remain strong unless the two of you team up and make a commitment to work on it continuously. Life is busy, and it can be easy to let your marriage take the backseat when other people or deadlines seem pressing. In these situations, it is important to understand what it really means to make your relationship with your spouse a priority. Read More

a graphic of a couch

The Middle Couch Cushion

By UncategorizedNo Comments

As I was sitting and watching TV with my husband one evening, each of us comfortably plopped on our respective ends of the couch, I looked to my right and was somewhat astonished by what I saw. Lying there between us, in the no man’s land that is the middle couch cushion, were no less than four– four!– remote controls, plus our smartphones!

It suddenly dawned on me that this stalwart middle cushion, used much less than the comfy reclining ends we tended to gravitate to, was both literally and metaphorically coming between us. Read More

a couple kissing over two cups of coffee

Check In – Part 3: Conversation Inspiration

By Uncategorized2 Comments

Last night was rough. Work ran late, traffic was bad, dinner was overcooked, kids didn’t want to take their baths or go to bed, and then finally, after all of that, my husband and I sat down for our Wednesday night “check in” and we just stared at each other.

I set aside time at the end of my (hectic) day for what should have been an effortless (and rewarding) talk with my husband, and yet we both felt like it was another draining task that needed to be completed before we could finally get rest.

If this situation sounds familiar – you’re in luck! Read More