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5 Ways to Clean Up Your Marriage This Spring

5 Ways to Clean Up Your Marriage This Spring

By Resilience2 Comments

Whether you participate in “spring cleaning” or prefer a monthly or year-round approach, there’s something to be said for the satisfaction that comes with clearing away the dust and clutter that builds up over time. While it’s not the most romantic way to visualize it, marriage can have it’s own grimy corners that might benefit from regular cleaning and maintenance. Here are five ways to clean up your marriage this spring. Read More

3 Valentine’s Day Traditions Worth Starting

By Connection, Quality Time4 Comments

While Valentine’s Day should be all about the love, people often are divided on how to celebrate. Some *love* this holiday. They love the traditions that come with it. Weeks ago they put out the heart-shaped decor around the house and started crafting the classroom valentines their kids will hand out, just like they used to when they were in school. Days ago they picked out a red sweater to wear to work today and picked up heart-shaped candy to put out on their desk like they do every year. When they get home, they’ll look forward to the annual romantic dinner paired with a gift from their partner.

Others, well, not so much. They think this day is full of traditions of overspending, consumerism, and inauthentic expressions of love.

Regardless of where you fall, there is value in tying tradition into the holiday. Valentine’s Day can be a great way to remind yourselves to do things for your relationship because well, it’s tradition! We’ve got some different types of traditions worth starting. They might not all be realistic to do this year, but bring these up with your partner and decide what traditions you want to start – and maybe you already have some that fit these suggestions. Read More

4 Common Weekend Arguments & How to Prevent Them

By Conflict3 Comments

It’s Friday afternoon. The weekend is just a few hours away. After another busy week, you can’t wait to relax with your family, get a few chores done, and possibly have some friends over for dinner one night. You text your spouse to see what you should pick up from the grocery store for said dinner, but you’re caught off guard by their response: “What dinner? We can’t have people over, we’re starting the downstairs bathroom remodel this weekend, remember?”

Uh-oh. You rack your brain trying to figure out how the wires got crossed. You swear you talked about having friends over…didn’t you? Plus, you weren’t planning on starting the bathroom for at least another few weeks. You sense an argument brewing… not a great way to start the weekend.

Can you relate to this scenario? Perhaps you know from firsthand experience that weekend fights can be a major bummer. So let’s explore four common weekend arguments – and how you can prevent them. Read More

A happy couple sitting together on the floor

5 Signs You Could Benefit from a Relationship Check-In

By Connection6 Comments

It’s time to check in! Nope, this isn’t a notification about an upcoming flight. But you could consider it a reminder to have your daily relationship check-in – or take it as a sign to start one.

If you’re unfamiliar with the concept of a relationship check-in, it’s a designated time for you and your partner to touch base on the status of your relationship. You might talk about what’s working or not working, how satisfied you both are in various areas of your relationship, express gratitude and appreciation, air grievances, or even just talk about your day. The beauty of a check-in is that there are many ways you can do it, as long as it works for you as a couple and benefits your relationship.
Are you and your spouse in need of a check-in? Here are five signs you could benefit from one: Read More

Couple holding hands while strolling on road in woods

How to Stay Connected Without Shared Interests

By Connection, Quality Time11 Comments

Do you and your spouse share interests or hobbies? If so, that’s great! Spending quality time together doing things you both enjoy probably comes easily to you. This is a relationship strength that will help you stay connected and nurture your friendship throughout your marriage. But what if your interests don’t converge? Are you doomed to drift apart? We don’t think so. In fact, maintaining separate interests and your individual sense of identity can be good for your relationship, too. It’s all about balance.

Let’s explore some tips for staying connected when you don’t share many interests. Read More

Happy couple dancing in the street

10 Ways to Connect in 10 Minutes or Less

By Connection10 Comments

In an ideal world, you and your spouse get to enjoy a weekly date night and ample time each day to check in and connect. Reality looks different. Depending on your season of life, you might be lucky if you get a date night every couple months and a few minutes of quiet after the kids the are in bed – and before you’re both ready for bed, too. Even if things aren’t that hectic for you right now, sometimes you’re simply crunched for time. Do you have to sacrifice staying connected? We don’t think so. Here are 10 ways to connect in 10 minutes or less. Read More

Couple hugging and laughing

How To Talk About Your Relationship (Without Feeling Awkward)

By Relationship Basics2 Comments

If you’ve read a few of our blog posts, you’ve probably noticed that we often encourage couples to talk to each other about their relationship. Feeling dissatisfied? Talk about it. Dealing with an unresolved conflict? Talk about it. Want to be a better spouse? Talk about it. And it’s true – honest, consistent communication about what’s working (or needs work) in your relationship is vital to staving off complacency and strengthening your connection. But sometimes, it just doesn’t come naturally. Read More

Here’s a Secret to a Happier Relationship

By UncategorizedOne Comment

We’ve heard it before.  Relationships can, and will (if we let them), fall in a rut.  We know they take energy, we know they take effort, we’ve heard this all before.  Amongst the extensive amount of stale relationship advice we’ve heard time and time again, this one stands out as most over-used.

But what if we told you that putting in the effort in a new and exciting way can actually make you a happier couple? Read More

A basketball in a basketball hoop.

7 Ways to Avoid Marriage Madness

By UncategorizedNo Comments

Stomping like a child, I stormed back and forth between our garage and house.  I was so angry!  Brad and I were packing for a trip to spend time with my family.  We were in a disagreement about where we were going to stay and how much time we were going to spend with my family while on the trip.  I thought he should want more time with my family.  Our interaction soured the whole trip.  This is my first recollection of my marriage making me mad.

Almost fifteen years in, and a few mad episodes later, here are some reflections on ways to minimize marriage madness.

Read More

A couple folding laundry together.

Why it’s Good to Have Expectations in Your Relationship

By Uncategorized13 Comments

Have you ever heard of the “nocebo effect”?  No?  Me neither.

Have you heard of the “placebo effect”?  It’s the phenomenon where if you believe you are being treated for something, you feel the effects of it.  For example, if you are told the pill you are taking will cure your headache, you take it and assume your headache will go away.  When it does go away, you think nothing of it, except when you are told the pill you took is a sugar pill.  That’s the placebo effect.

Well, apparently the same goes for the opposite of the placebo effect – the nocebo effect.  If you believe that something is not going to work, it doesn’t.  If you are told the aspirin you are about to take is a dud and won’t work, it doesn’t – even if it’s the same kind of aspirin you always take for your headaches.

Can you imagine how the nocebo effect could affect your relationship? Read More