Whether your relationship with your in-laws and your own family is usually pretty great or has its ups and downs, there are situations that test your family boundaries. If your families already struggle with boundary issues, certain circumstances may exacerbate them even more, putting additional strain on the relationships. If your boundaries are usually pretty healthy, you might still experience some tension as you navigate the situation at hand. Read More
How to make friends is a social skill you learn early on in life, far before you know what a social skill is. Looking back, you were probably encouraged to play with a neighbor at a playground or sit next to a kid in preschool. Over time you kind of figure out what you have in common with certain kids, find yourself drifting towards those who enjoy the same things you do, and lo and behold, you have a friend. As kids, we can even be quite blunt about it by straight up asking, “Do you want to be my friend?” We like to show off our BFF – best friend forever – even proclaiming that status through a special handshake or cheap matching jewelry. And just as quick as we begin friendships, we end them, exiling someone for being mean or having the audacity to sit by someone else at lunch.
The point of this is that as kids, making friends was usually pretty easy. It was a natural part of your development as a child. Your parents celebrated each new friendship, your environment (aka school) fostered friendship development, and you had tons of time to dedicate to nurturing those new relationships – basically you had time to play together.
But what happens when you get older, and you need/want to make new friends? It’s hard! You may not have the time, support system, or even skills to start new friendships. Another challenging aspect of developing friendships as adults is that you may be trying to build friendships as a couple, with other couples.
Imagine you are sitting at the outrageously decorated holiday table that your sister spent all morning setting. Your most loved relatives are sitting around you, chatting, laughing, and grazing. Your uncle starts up a conversation with your husband about politics from across the table. He makes a comment about an immigration policy and you completely disagree with him. You begin to feel agitated, your heart rate is increasing and your hands start to sweat. On top of the agitation you are experiencing, your anxiety level starts to rise. What is your husband thinking? How much longer should you wait to hear your uncle out before you chime in with your opinion? Should you chime in? Read More
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