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Ann Malmberg

5 Signs You're Growing as a Couple

5 Signs You’re Growing as a Couple

By Resilience2 Comments

How do you know something is growing? Sometimes it’s concrete and measurable: You can compare your child’s current height to last year’s measurement. Or you can see that your tiny sprout has now outgrown the pot it was planted in. Other times, there is less visual evidence. For example, how do you know if you’ve grown personally or in your marriage? Although it’s harder to see on the surface, recognizing growth can be important. It gives you confidence, encouragement, and motivation to keep striving for better – to keep putting effort into the things that matter. Here are five signs you’re growing as a couple. Read More

5 Underrated Ways to Validate Your Spouse

5 Underrated Ways to Validate Your Spouse

By Relationship Dynamics13 Comments

“I couldn’t believe he said that to me! I was so mad!”

“I think you’re overreacting, he probably didn’t mean it that way.”

Have you ever shared your thoughts with your spouse, but their response left you feeling dismissed, criticized, or unheard? It can make you feel small or invisible – the opposite of how you should feel in interactions with your partner. This speaks to the importance of validation, of helping each other feel heard, understood, and that your thoughts and feelings are valued. It’s usually not the first thing that comes to mind when we think of the crucial components of a healthy relationship but without it, trust and intimacy will be largely lacking. So here are five underrated ways to validate your spouse. Read More

The Power of a Do-Over

The Power of a Do-Over

By Conflict, Parenting6 Comments

In a lot of circumstances, you only get one shot. Heck, life itself is a perfect example (YOLO!) It can create a lot of pressure to get things right the first time. But no one is perfect, and when we fail, it can be a tough pill to swallow. When it’s possible and appropriate, a second chance can be just what we need to turn an ordinary or negative situation into something more. Let’s explore the power of a do-over in the context of marriage. Read More

4 Benefits of Understanding Your Triggers

4 Benefits of Understanding Your Triggers

By Relationship Basics6 Comments

You’ve probably experienced this before – having an emotional reaction disproportionate to the comment that spurred it, or a conversation that goes off the rails when emotions escalate out nowhere. Sure, some conflict is unavoidable and necessary, but constantly lashing out when you’re triggered can be pretty hard on your relationship. When you do the work to better understand your own hot spots and triggers, you’ll begin to reap the following benefits: Read More

Why Parenting Disagreements Test Your Relationship

Why Parenting Disagreements Can Test Your Relationship

By Conflict, Parenting5 Comments

Having children is often considered one of the most rewarding parts of marriage. While that may be true, it can also be one of the most challenging, testing your relationship with your spouse in ways you’ve never experienced before. Raising children isn’t easy, even if you were to agree on every aspect of it. So when you disagree, it can feel like a wedge between you. Why do parenting disagreements tend to carry such weight? And what are some tips to turn those disagreements into opportunities to come out stronger? Let’s take a look. Read More

10 Loving Ways to Surprise Each Other

By Connection9 Comments

Not everyone loves surprises. If this sounds like you or your spouse, you might cringe at the thought of surprising each other. But before you stop reading, let us clarify. Surprises don’t have to come in the form of an over-the-top surprise party with every person you know in attendance (the horror!) They can actually be relatively small, simple ways to show love and appreciation or boost your level of connection. Here are 10 ideas to get your gears turning: Read More

Showing Love When You’re Not Really Feeling It

By Conflict, Connection6 Comments
Real talk. You love your spouse. But sometimes, you don’t really feel all that loving. Maybe you are angry with them or are still processing emotions around a conflict. Perhaps you’re emotionally flooded or you’ve had a horrible day and just need some space. Whatever the case, it’s normal to not feel loving and affectionate toward your spouse 100% of the time. However, constantly taking your anger, frustration, or other difficult emotions out on them (even when they might be the cause), will take a toll on your relationship.

Fortunately, there are ways to let your spouse know your love for them hasn’t wavered – that you’re still “with” them and committed to your marriage even if you’re not feeling especially warm towards them at the moment. These small things provide reassurance that you will reconnect, even if it’s not immediately. Let’s explore. Read More

5 Things That Undermine an Apology

By Conflict15 Comments

Have you ever been on the receiving end of a bad apology? How did it make you feel? Even if you couldn’t articulate exactly what what was off about it, you might have walked away feeling a sense of dissatisfaction, or even more hurt or angry than you were initially. Have you been on the other side of this situation? You tried to apologize to your spouse, but it was not received well. Maybe you felt like you were doing all the right things, but it’s not coming across the way you’d like. What went wrong?

The fact of the matter is, a meaningful apology is more than just uttering the words, “I’m sorry.” Here are five things that can undermine an apology. Read More

Your Quintessential Guide to Quality Time

Your Quintessential Guide to Quality Time

By Quality Time3 Comments

Quality time with your spouse – what would your relationship be without it? While it can sometimes seem like a luxury amidst your busy lives, it’s actually a vital ingredient for a marriage that stands the test of time.

Why is it so important?

For one, spending quality time together helps you bond and nurture your connection. If you’ve been feeling disconnected lately, not prioritizing quality time can sometimes be the reason why. Second, quality time is an opportunity to fill each other’s cup. You’ve probably heard of love languages, and one of them is quality time! If this is one or both of your languages, then spending time together will help you feel loved and cherished. And third, quality time with you partner helps you gain a sense of balance in multiple areas of your life. For example, it helps you balance togetherness and separateness. When life is hectic, prioritizing time together ensures you aren’t spending too much time apart. It can also help you in the area of work-life balance, providing a reprieve from workaholism and the stress that comes with it.

How do we make the most of it?

The interesting thing about quality time is that it’s limited. That’s part of what makes it so valuable, something to be savored. It’s sort of like going on vacation – knowing it’s a rare experience that contrasts your regular day-to-day life – is what makes it so special. All of that to say, you probably want to get the most out of the time you’re spending together (hence why it’s called quality time and not just time).

  • Need three quick tips to up the quality of your quality time? Check them out here.
  • Have you noticed that your work has been seeping into all hours of your day, including what should be quality time with your partner? If so, you’ll want to create these boundaries.
  • Sometimes the more you want to enjoy a special moment with your spouse, the more difficult it can be to truly be present in them. If you’ve experienced this, here are three things that might be stealing your memorable moments – and how to reclaim them.

Are there other obstacles? If so, how can we overcome them?

Unfortunately, there are other things that can be obstacles to spending quality time together – things that are mostly out of our hands or just part of life. The key is figuring out how to manage those obstacles, even if you can’t eliminate them.

  • There are certain times of year that can be consistently chaotic, such as back-to-school or the holiday season. Or unique situations like the time surrounding a big event for your family. It can feel impossible to squeeze in quality time amidst so much going on. These tips refer to the holidays, but you can apply them to anytime that feels hectic.
  • What happens if you’re just busy all the time? Unfortunately, many couples would probably put themselves in this category. Left unchecked, this can have a negative effect on your marriage. Avoid this route by prioritizing these four things. And when you just simply don’t have the time, keep these 10 ways to connect in 10 minutes or less in your back pocket.
  • Sometimes it isn’t time that’s the issue, but a lack of shared interests. This can make it seem like your separate hobbies are competing with spending quality time together, which is not a great dynamic for your relationship. If you can relate, then check out these tips.

Quality time comes in many forms.

It’s easy to get locked into the idea that marital quality time equals date nights, but the truth is, it can – and should – come in other forms as well! Thinking outside the box about what constitutes quality time will not only give you more opportunities to fit it in, it will also make it more interesting and fun. Avoid the same-old by considering the following:

  • Double or group dates aren’t too much of a stretch from a regular date night, but they can be a great opportunity to bond with your spouse while also nurturing friendships with other couples. In fact, having couple friends has some great benefits – check them out here.
  • Doing a project together might not sound very appealing, but hear us out. Choosing a project to do together – with thought and intention – can actually be a great way to spend quality time together and grow as a couple. Wondering what we mean? Read more here.
  • Volunteering together can be deeply fulfilling, both on an individual level and as a way to spend time together. Need more reasons to try it? Explore them here.
  • Did you know there are hidden opportunities to connect scattered throughout your day? The keys it find them, and leverage them!Here are a few examples, but we bet you can find more.

So there you have it: the ins and outs of quality time with your spouse. Hopefully this guide has helped you understand its importance and how you can make the most of it. Throughout your marriage, you’ll encounter obstacles to prioritizing that time together, but by learning to mitigate them and think outside the box, you’ll benefit your relationship in the long run.

8 Signs You Bring Out the Best in Each Other

8 Signs You Bring Out the Best in Each Other

By Relationship Dynamics8 Comments

They bring out the best in each other. Maybe you’ve said this about another couple or people have said it about you and your spouse. It’s a great compliment, but what does it mean, really? Is it something that only comes naturally or can you work on it? Does it fade over time? How do you know if you’re still doing it? While there’s no scientific formula for what it looks like, here are eight surefire signs that you and your spouse bring out the best in each other. Read More