Holidays, birthdays, anniversaries – our lives are sprinkled with special moments of celebration, joy, sentimentality, and love that we want to remember years down the road. Ironically, it seems that the more we try to make them perfect, the less present we actually are in the moment. Have you experienced this? The truth is, It’s easy to let the goal of “making memories” distract us from what’s truly important. Here are some tips to help you make the most of the moment – in the moment.
Put the phone down.
Snapping some pictures and recording a few videos is pretty much par for the course nowadays, whether it’s capturing your kids opening a big gift or taking a selfie with your spouse on your way to date night. But when you start living behind your phone, recording every moment digitally instead of enjoying it in real-time, or getting so caught up in posting a photo to your social media that you miss out on what’s happening right in front of you – that becomes a problem. Avoid this bad habit by getting any pictures you want done right away, or setting a limit on how much you’ll have your phone in your hand. After that, tuck it away for a period of time. Focus on being fully present with each other and taking everything in naturally. You might find that you’re enjoying yourself so much that you totally forget about using your phone, and that can be liberating.
Go with the flow.
Sometimes you have a plan for how you want things to go, expectations for how something should play out, or an image in your head of the ideal scenario. Say you reserved your favorite table with a view for your anniversary; it was the same table you sat at the night you got engaged, so it holds extra meaning. You envision romantic conversation as you laugh and reminisce about your honeymoon, all while enjoying that fabulous view. Cut to reality: they’ve double-booked your table, and the only other one available is next to the noisy kitchen en route to the restrooms. It could be easy to let this spoil your entire evening, sulking and complaining instead of simply enjoying each other’s company. Learning to be flexible prevents a turn of events from completely ruining your experience. Sure, you’re allowed to feel disappointed, but don’t dwell on it. Consider how you can take advantage of the situation. Things are not always going to go as planned, so learning to make the most of those times is clutch.
Quiet your mind.
If you’re like most people, turning off the commentary that’s running through your mind can take a conscious effort. Should I have made more food? Are people having a good time? And don’t even get us started on the mental to-do list: Did I pay the electric bill? What are going to have for dinner tomorrow night? What’s the kids’ practice schedule this week? Meanwhile, your spouse’s tone is growing more irritated as they repeat their question for the third time. When it comes down to it, if you’re not mentally present, you’re missing out on what’s happening right in front of you. Next time you feel second-guessing, worrying, or other extraneous things vying for your mental attention, take one minute to jot them down (let you spouse know what you’re doing), then dismiss the distracting thoughts. Focus your freed up mental energy on the here and now.
Memorable, joy-filled moments with our partner and family are sort of what life’s all about. We work so hard for them, yet technology and our own mental hurdles can end up sabotaging our enjoyment. By being more mindful and present, you can ensure you’re truly making the most of those special times.
