5 Areas to Strive for Balance

When you hear the word “balance”, what do you picture? Is it a gymnast, perched atop a balance beam, arms outstretched in preparation for the big dismount? Is it a set of scales, one side sitting perfectly level with the other? Or maybe it’s something else entirely, which is fitting considering a sense of balance is a highly personal thing, unique to each person – and couple.

Sometimes, you just know when things are out of whack. Other times, it’s harder to pin down. Why is that? Well, we don’t just need balance in one area of our lives, but several areas that all intermingle and affect each other. If you and your spouse are feeling out of balance lately, here are five areas to consider.

How connected you are

Throughout your marriage, the amount of time you have to spend together will ebb and flow. Some seasons you’re attached at the hip; others, you feel lucky to get in one evening of quality time a week. Through it all, your level of emotional connection can vary as well, which means that more time spent together doesn’t necessarily mean feeling more connected. Maybe you’re feeling distant from each other lately, or you’re finding yourselves craving space to nurture other areas of your life. Whichever way the scales are tipped, have a discussion. Consider whether increasing or decreasing the amount of time you have together will help you achieve a better sense of balance. Or is it more about being intentional and making the most of smaller pockets of time? What small steps or changes can you make together to work toward more balance?

Work and home life

This one can be a constant battle, especially for working parents. With the ubiquity of remote working, the lines between work and home life are now more blurred than ever. Are you feeling burnt out on work and like you never really turn “off”? Or are the demands of home life having a negative effect on your job performance? This area can be tough because we usually don’t have control over every aspect, or at least we don’t feel like we do. So instead, focus on the parts you can control and where you can make adjustments. Talk to your spouse to figure out ways you can support each other in these adjustments – your work/life imbalance might be affecting them, too.

Your health

Living a healthy lifestyle is something we all want to aim for. On top of everything else you’re managing, it can sometimes feel like eating right and staying active is one of the first things to fall to the bottom of the priority list. However, your health is actually one of the most important things that is often taken for granted. If you’re feeling out of balance in this area, talk to each other about changes you can make as a couple or family to be healthier – it’s worth it in the long run! Consider aspects such as whether you’re getting enough sleep, or if other areas of your life are impacting your health and vice versa. Are there small changes you can make that have a positive effect on multiple areas of your life?

Your social life

Maybe you calendar is packed with social gatherings, and you’re feeling overwhelmed and over-extended. Or perhaps you’re on the other side, feeling lonely, isolated, or needing connection with friends aside from your spouse. If you and your spouse have different preferences when it comes to socializing, you might be trying to meet each other’s needs, which can also contribute to feelings of imbalance. Have a conversation about where you’re both at. Could you both benefit from some separate alone time or finding some new couple friends? Do you need to create a boundary on how many social events you commit to each month? Try to see the issue from multiple angles.

Personal balance

As we learn more about ourselves, we get a better understanding of what drains us, fulfills us, and helps us be our best, all of which contributes to our own internal sense of balance. It might be closely tied to the areas above, or other things like your personality traits, need for creativity, being in nature, helping others, etc. If you’re feeling out of balance personally, you might need to put a little extra effort into communicating with each other about your needs, as it may not always be obvious on the surface. Do you and your partner have similar or very different needs when it comes to feeling balanced? Are there ones that complement or conflict with each other? Get creative with solutions if you need to.

Through all of this, there are two things to remember:

1. Communication is key. It’s likely that you and your spouse will not be feeling out of balance in the same areas at the same time. And with the ways that each area interconnects with other areas of your life and relationship, you’ll need to be on the same page in order to make positive changes.
2. Periods of imbalance are normal, sometimes necessary – and usually temporary. What’s most important is that you eventually get back to a state of balance, which is associated with higher levels of resilience.

What keeps you feeling balanced? How do you know when you’re out of balance? Let us know!