3 Ways to Cultivate Gratitude in Your Marriage Daily

Be grateful. It’s a common mantra these days, and particularly at this time of year – and for good reason. Gratitude is associated with some pretty powerful effects, such as lower stress, higher resilience, and greater happiness overall. Research has found that these benefits extend to marriage as well, fostering positive feelings and stronger connection between spouses. And that’s something we can all get behind.

The key, of course, is making gratitude a consistent part of your daily life – a way of thinking and living instead of just something you focus on once a year. Wondering how to work on that? Here are 3 ways to add gratitude into your marriage every day.

Notice the little things.

Chances are, your spouse does seemingly small things for you throughout the day to show their love. Maybe your spouse always brews the coffee and sets your favorite mug next to the pot, or keeps your car filled with gas without you even having to ask. Perhaps they save the last muffin for you or leave the light on when they know you’ll be home late. These are all seemingly ordinary, everyday things you normally might not pay much attention to. Consider what your life might be like without these things or what it would feel like to experience them after being deprived. Try to be more aware of these expressions of love and affection. Notice them, relish them, and fully immerse yourself in the intention behind them. When you’re more mindful of the things that you tend to take for granted, you begin to develop a sense of muscle memory in appreciating them.

Take time for daily reflection.

You might already set aside time each day for prayer or meditation, either with your spouse or separately. If reflecting on what you’re grateful for isn’t already part of that habit, it’s an easy addition to make. Consider journaling or jotting down your thoughts. It’s not only convenient to look back on when you need a boost, but also makes it easier to share with your spouse. That’s right – share your gratitude lists with each other! This is a great way to build emotional intimacy and strengthen your connection. Plus, it helps you both focus on and internalize what you’re grateful for, lending to a mindset of gratitude that becomes second nature.

Express your gratitude with intention.

You probably thank your spouse throughout the day without even thinking about it. It’s basic manners, after all. But how often to do you take the time to really thank them? We’re talking eye contact, full attention, heartfelt moment to really let them know how thankful you are for them. It could be for something specific they’ve done recently or a general appreciation for who they are. You might incorporate it into a daily check in, or you could catch them by surprise when they least expect it. The idea here is that outwardly expressing the gratitude you feel takes it “full circle.” It kicks off a reciprocal effect in your relationship that helps you both feel happier and more grateful.

While focusing on gratitude only at certain times throughout the year is fine, it’s sort of like going on a crash diet to lose weight: you might reap some short-lived benefits, but you’ll miss out on the long-lasting ones. The key is making the mindset and habit of gratitude sustainable by making it part of your life and marriage every day.