Spread Holiday Cheer in Your Marriage (All Year Long)

Are you someone who loves the holidays? Do you have an extra spring in your step as you hum along to your favorite Christmas music? If you consider yourself the epitome of holiday cheer, do you find that your attitude carries over into your marriage as well?

For many, there’s something about the season that makes everything have more sparkle. The very fact that it’s temporary might be part of what makes it so special. In the blink of an eye, you’re packing away the decorations and getting back to the grind. But what if you carried that positivity and goodwill into your marriage all year long? Here are 4 examples to consider.

1. Being present in the moment

Maybe you put your phone away more often over the holidays so you can soak up and enjoy quality time with your loved ones. Perhaps you give yourself permission to push your to-dos aside for a few days so you can be fully engaged playing board games with your kids or catching up with your cousins. Or you make a point to notice and savor the little details of the season – the smell of cookies baking, the glow of the lights on the tree, the sound of your spouse laughing from across the room. When you get back to real life, it’s easy to let the day-to-day hustle take over. From a practical standpoint, sure – there are things to do and places to be. But don’t forget to stop and smell the cookies once in awhile, too! Being fully present when spending time with your spouse is what puts the quality in quality time, increasing intimacy and keeping your connection strong.

2. Giving each other grace

Do you get a little more lenient with your kids over holiday break? Maybe you let them stay up later than usual or enjoy treats and activities they don’t regularly get to have. Maybe you let the usual household chores go a bit, too. Do you offer your spouse this grace throughout the year? Again, it’s not to say you should throw all standards out the window for good, but there are times when your spouse could use a little extra empathy and understanding. Whether it’s been a long week or a tough few months, being each other’s soft landing helps you feel closer – and more like a team – through it all.

3. Taking the time for small kindnesses

In line with the holiday spirit, you probably get joy out of sprinkling thoughtful little gestures for everyone around you. Whether it’s picking out the perfect card for a friend, bringing in Friday afternoon treats to your coworkers, or brushing the snow off your neighbor’s car in the morning, these simple kindnesses speak volumes. And they are just as meaningful in your marriage. One might argue that they’re even more important in this context, where it’s easy to get caught up in the routine and start taking each other for granted. Continuing to put effort into making your spouse feel seen and loved – even through the smallest gestures – has a disproportionately positive effect on your marriage.

4. Showing your love and affection

You call out holiday greetings in passing, whether it’s to family or the mail carrier. Even if you’re not typically a hugger, it’s hugs all around – as you leave family gatherings, meet up with friends you haven’t seen in forever, or snuggle up for a cozy holiday movie night. Something about the holidays makes you want to tell your spouse you love them, but why only this time of year? It’s easy to fall into the assumption that your spouse knows how much you love them, and they very well might. But complacency is a sneaky, and being intentional about communicating your love and showing affection is a habit that helps prevent it.

The holidays can be such a fun, joy-filled time – and just like that they’re over. Instead of sliding into a post-holiday funk, consider how you can keep those feel-good sentiments alive all year long – and strengthen your marriage to boot.