Why You Should Hype Up Date Night

Dates. Couples are always told to prioritize going on regular dates. We’ve certainly talked a lot about the importance of dates here on the Prepare/Enrich blog. We’ve given many ideas for day dates, cheap dates, weekend getaway dates, at-home dates, the standard date nights, and so on and so forth. We’ve talked about why dates are important – they provide opportunity to connect, go deeper in conversation with each other, and really invest in your relationship. We’ve also helped you overcome common obstacles couples face when they try and schedule a date – childcare, expectations, expense, etc.

But today, we’re sharing why you should hype up dates with your spouse and how you can do that without setting yourselves up for disappointment.

The case for hyping up date night.

Remember back to when you were a kid and you’d get more and more excited anytime something fun was coming up. A field trip in school, your birthday, Christmas, a family vacation, etc. You knew there was time in the near future where you were going to have special moments, spending time with friends/family and doing something you enjoy. Maybe you also were anticipating a new experience that day, or something you considered to be more luxurious than your normal day to day life. We experience this as adults too – the anticipation leading up to the day or event is sometimes just as exciting as the actual thing you’re waiting for. But as adults, we often couch that excitement by burdening our minds with all of the logistics and realities of making that special thing happen. It doesn’t have to be that way, though. Why not add more excitement, more joy, and more fun to the build up before going on a date with your spouse?! We’re all for hyping up date night.

So, how do you hype up date night?

What’s most important is to authentically get yourself really excited and looking forward to your date – and then the hype will naturally follow. We’re giving you permission to get enthused about your upcoming time with your partner! Here are some easy ways to talk up your upcoming date:

• Mark it on the family calendar.
• Make a countdown and display it somewhere you both see it.
• Talk about it. “Honey, I’m so looking forward to our date tomorrow night!” And yes, in front of the kids, too! (Bonus: this models the importance of dates and couples connecting, an impression they’ll remember years down the road.)
• Plan an outfit. It doesn’t have to be fancy or special – intentional is the idea.
• If you’re going to a new place, do some research to get yourself thinking about the date – preview the menu, have something in mind you want to do there, etc.
• Tell others about your upcoming plans! If you’re chatting with colleagues or texting with a group of friends and the conversation turns to discussing weekend plans, share that you’re excited for your date – again, when you model prioritizing dates others will take note for their own relationship.

But, how do you not over-hype up the date?

It’s a great question. Its so easy to get so excited about something that it ends up being a disappointing experience. The key is to keep your expectations in check. We’ve got a few tips to help you hype up your date just the right amount.

• Have a plan for logistics. Don’t wait until you’re starting the date to figure out what you’re doing, where you’re going, and how you’re getting there. Plan out as much of that as you can. Map out directions, know where to park, etc.
• Prep for childcare. If you’ve arranged a babysitter, write out the details for care ahead of time and prep as much as you can – bottles, dinner, pjs, bedtime books, etc. so they’re more likely to have smooth sailing. If you’re leaving older kids without a babysitter – set expectations for how they spend the time home alone and for checking in with you. Having these expectations in place will help eliminate your concern for them while you’re out trying to focus on connecting with your partner.
• Align on the mood. Is this a fun date night? Adventurous? Romantic? Intimate? Silly? Aligning with your spouse on the overall mood of the date will help you have realistic expectations. If you don’t chat about this ahead of time, one of you may go into it thinking you’ll be gazing into each other’s eyes over candlelight while the other one is thinking you’ll be competing with each other over a round of trivia at the local bar & grill.

And the biggest tip of them all – go with the flow. We get it. You’ve hyped up this date in your head so much; you’re so excited to connect and spend time with your spouse. You’ve even done all of this extra prep work to have appropriate expectations for the time – and yet, your precious date is still vulnerable to things out of your control. Unexpected traffic makes you late to your dinner reservation. Babysitter calls because one of your kids isn’t feeling well. Or even the new restaurant you were looking forward to trying just missed the mark on the dishes you ordered. Don’t let these unfortunate hiccups ruin the true intention of the date. You can still connect with your spouse if you start dinner late, end up ending the night early, or even if you’re unsatisfied with your meal. Try to keep in mind the bigger picture and roll with the punches. It’ll help you maintain a positive memory of the date and fuel your anticipation for the next one.