It’s no secret we believe in dating your spouse all throughout your marriage. We’ve shared lots of tips to help you make that happen – from planning ahead to making it a habit to being creative about fitting more dates into your current flow of life. But there’s one simple tip to help you and your spouse go on more dates. Start tracking them!
That’s right. Whether your goal is to go on a weekly date or to hit a certain number within a certain time, coming up with a way to visibly track your dates is a great way to turn a nice “idea” into a concrete, achievable goal. It could be a grid you color in, calendar-style boxes you cross out, or a list of dates that you check off. Get as creative as you want, or keep it simple – whatever floats your boat.
Need more reasons to get onboard? Keep reading…
1. You make it a visible priority.
It’s not a stretch to assume you’ve got a list of priorities and responsibilities taking up mental space most of the time. Going on regular dates could be just another thing to add to that list. By moving it to a physical tracker in highly visible spot, you remove the burden of keeping it top of mind on your own. Instead, you can easily see it there in front of you every day, reminding you of your goal and its significance.
2. You can hold yourselves accountable.
When you’re just keeping track mentally, it’s easy to brush it off – we’ll do it next week. Before you know it, it’s been a month without a date! But there’s something about seeing a visual reminder right in front of you to show what you’re doing – or not doing. By sticking that date tracker front and center on the fridge, it serves as a constant reminder to go on a date – and it’s hard to ignore if you’ve been slacking.
3. You’ll see your progress.
When you track your dates, whether it’s coloring in squares or crossing out a box, you’re able to see how much you’ve accomplished at a glance. There’s a sense of satisfaction to be found in seeing that number or shaded area grow while knowing that you’ve invested that time and energy into something as worthwhile as your relationship. Plus, seeing your progress toward your end goal can give you the confidence to keep going.
4. You can build on your momentum.
Do you keep track of the days you adhere to other habits, like working out or meditating? When you look back and see that you’ve completed 8 days in a row, it has a tendency to motivate you to keep it going. Similarly, if you look at your tracker and see you’ve gone on a date every week for the past two months, you might be hesitant to break that streak. You might even challenge yourselves to see how long you can keep it going.
5. You can more easily make adjustments.
Tracking your dates gives you a better basis for evaluating how things went and making adjustments that will actually better serve your relationship going forward. For example, at the end of a specified period of time, you might notice that you went on more dates during the summer that made up for skipping some during the winter or busy holiday season. You might decide that works for you, or perhaps you set a new goal to try three new winter date activities next year.
6. You can celebrate your success.
When you track your dates, it provides you with a clear picture of if/when you reached your goal – and that is reason to celebrate what you accomplished together. (Sounds like a good excuse for another date!). Even if you didn’t go on quite as many dates as you were striving for – it’s not the end of the world. You can be proud of what you did accomplish, and you’ve got a great starting point for setting new goals.
So there you have it – an unexpected, yet effective way to get you and your spouse out on more dates. And if you’re looking for a way to make your dates even more meaningful, grab a copy of our Discussion Guide for Couples. It’s a great way to connect through conversation, with insights and practical tips on 14 crucial relationship topics including personality, expectations, commitment, and more.
There might be love. There might be commitment. There might be a solid friendship at its core. But that doesn’t mean there will be desire in a long-term relationship. No wonder they’re such hard work! Worth it – but hard.
Desire feeds physical intimacy which in turn feeds connection, nurturance and the protective guard around relationships. Intimate relationships in which desire has faded can take on the shape of housemates or colleagues. There can still be love and a deep emotional bond in these relationships, there might even still be sex, but without desire the way we see ourselves and feel about ourselves changes and will ultimately play out in the relationship. Understanding the nature of desire is key to getting it back.
Such a great insight to think about. Never thought much about how desire plays into the long term feelings, especially as routine sets in.
Dates with our spouse can be simple. Having a favorite place such as a park or walking trail can be something to look forward to.
Dates can be enjoyed with a picnic or just a fun homemade dessert to enjoy.
The idea is to connect away from all the things that can become more of a priority than our marriage.