Staying Strong Through Hard Seasons

Are you going through a hard season of marriage right now? Or have you come out on the other side of one?

It’s become pretty common to talk about marriage in terms of seasons. It’s actually a fitting way to frame the ebb and flow of your life together. Of course, this insinuates it’s not always smooth sailing, and if you can’t attest to that now, you’ll likely be able to at some point in your marriage.

When you’re in the thick of a hard season, it can seem like you’re navigating uncharted territory without a map. Where do we go from here? Are we the only ones going through this? Will things get better? It can feel isolating and discouraging, but you’re not alone.

In order to normalize your experiences and help you feel more prepared, we’re sharing some of the common hard seasons you might go through in your marriage, along with the keys to staying strong throughout them.

The “In a Rut” Season

Things are feeling “off” and out of sync between you and your spouse. Maybe you’re arguing a lot more than usual and just can’t seem to get on the same page. When you try to communicate, it feels like you’re speaking different languages. You’re struggling in your relationship, but you’re also committed to working through your issues.

The “We’re Exhausted” Season

Maybe you’ve just become parents and are in survival mode with a newborn, or you’re chasing after a toddler on top of caring for a baby. It’s hard to get time to yourselves these days, and even if you did, you’d probably want to spend it sleeping. Needless to say, time and energy for doing fun things together are pretty scarce.
The “In This Together” Season
Life is coming at you hard. Perhaps one of you recently lost a loved one, and the other person was just laid off. Maybe you or someone close to you was diagnosed with a serious illness or experienced a life-changing injury, or you’re facing some unexpected financial issues. You’re going through some tough times right now, and it feels like you and your spouse against the world.

The “Crazy Busy” Season

You’d love to spend more time together, but between the kids’ activities and work, you barely have time for a peck on the lips as you head in different directions each day. Or perhaps you’re both burning both ends of the candle, working crazy hours on top of taking online classes. Things are hectic right now, but you’re operating well as a team.

The “Everything’s Changing” Season

Your life is in a state of transition. Whether you took a leap of faith to move across the country for a new job, are sending your youngest off to kindergarten (or college), or your dreams of retirement have become reality, lots of big changes are taking place right now. Things feel unfamiliar and uncertain, and you might be longing for things to feel normal again.

The keys to staying strong

As you’re navigating through any of these hard seasons, here are some key tips to keep in mind:

• Remember it’s only temporary.
  Sometimes the nature of the situation means there’s an end date – like having a newborn/small children. Other times, you might need to put in the effort and be intentional about making sure it’s only temporary (such as during a busy season). Either way, this can help you see the light at the end of a tunnel.
• See the positives.
  When your marriage or life in general has been a struggle, it’s easy to start feeling down about it. Instead, try to focus on the things you’re doing well, that are going smoothly, or what you’re learning from the experience. Keeping a positive perspective can make a huge difference in the energy that you both bring to your marriage.
• Support each other.
  Being there for each other during tough times is what marriage is all about. Make sure you’re communicating about how your spouse can support you in a given season, otherwise they might not know exactly what you need. This sets up a win-win for both of you.
• Prioritize emotional connection.
  When you’re busy or exhausted, you might not have the capacity for lots of quality time or date nights, so it’s that much more important to stay emotionally connected. Even a 10-minute daily check-in where you can focus your full attention on each other can help you maintain a strong bond.
• Be flexible.
  Hard seasons, while temporary, often include some degree of change or transition. Flexibility – being able to adapt to your current reality – is crucial to resilience. It’s going to not only help you get through the challenging times, but come out of them stronger.

While the circumstances of these hard seasons are all unique, they all have one thing in common: when you’re in it, it’s easy to lose sight of what’s on the other side – or even that there is another side. Remember that at the end of the day, these challenging seasons are normal – and an inevitable part of your journey together. They are the times you’ll eventually look back on and say, “We got through that together.” Living out your commitment to each other daily in big ways and small gives you a sense of security and the confidence to take on whatever life throws your way.