Refresh These 3 Marriage Areas

Are there areas of your relationship that are feeling a bit stale? Nothing is broken, so to speak, but deep down you know it could be better. Whether you’re stuck in the same old routine, or you feel like there are better ways you could be doing things in your marriage, sometimes a refresh is just what you need.

A refresh doesn’t mean a total overhaul or reinvention – it’s finding simple ways to inject new life and energy into what already works. With that in mind, here are three areas to refresh in your marriage:

Routines

Daily routines, by definition, are typically not new and exciting. However, we often stick with old routines even when there might be better ways of doing things, simply because they’re familiar. You’ve always done it that way, so why change it? If a routine serves you well, it’s probably not necessary to change it entirely. That being said, think through the routines you and your spouse share. Then consider realistic ways you might refresh them for the better. For example, you probably have a morning routine to get everyone out the door. Are there things you could start doing at night to make the morning easier? Could you wake up 15 minutes earlier to share what your day looks like over a quick cup of coffee? It could be something as subtle as straying from your usual breakfast of choice or as bold as starting a new workout regimen. Any sense of novelty you can share sparks bonding and connection.

Household responsibilities

When was the last time you assessed your household division of labor? It’s not something couples usually think about on a regular basis, as the tasks often fall into those set routines we mentioned earlier. However, feeling unsatisfied with who does what around the house can be a source of resentment and conflict – and that’s why a refresh might be just what you need. It’s the perfect opportunity to reflect on what you’re both doing, whether those roles are a good fit, whether a task is one you enjoy or dread, and where your individual skills and preferences align with the chore breakdown. Maybe you discover that your spouse actually likes meal planning and has more time to do it, so you decide to try that out and see how it goes. Or perhaps one of you is feeling burnt out handling the finances, so you want to try splitting the duties between you to lighten the load. Remember, any new arrangement you try is not set in stone. You can always go back to how things were, or maybe an even better option will emerge.

Quality time

Your time together is valuable – are you making the most of it? This is an area where it’s easy to become complacent. Maybe you do the same thing for every date, and the effort you put into it for each other is minimal. Or you realize you spend too much time scrolling each evening instead of actually connecting. Think about small tweaks you can make to get excited about the time you spend together each day. It could be starting a new evening hobby or activity, like an ongoing Scrabble game or going for a bike ride. Or you might incorporate more intention into your dates, like planning a surprise date for each other once a month, or shifting the vibe by going on more day dates. Even doing things that create more excitement and anticipation leading up to spending time together can be just what you need for a refresh.

Just like a home that’s become a bit dated but still has good bones, a complete demolition and rebuild isn’t always necessary – it just needs a fresh coat of paint and some fun new decor. The same goes for areas of your marriage. Taking time for a periodic refresh can help you and your spouse avoid the ruts of complacency, resentment, or disconnection.