They bring out the best in each other. Maybe you’ve said this about another couple or people have said it about you and your spouse. It’s a great compliment, but what does it mean, really? Is it something that only comes naturally or can you work on it? Does it fade over time? How do you know if you’re still doing it? While there’s no scientific formula for what it looks like, here are eight surefire signs that you and your spouse bring out the best in each other.
1. You have a healthy level of self-confidence.
Maybe you’ve grown more confident since meeting your partner. Or perhaps you’ve maintained a healthy confidence over your time together. Either way, this is a good sign that you consistently build each other up. When you’re constantly critical, even in seemingly minor ways, those little comments can eat away at your spouse’s confidence. If you both feel good about yourselves, it’s a testament to how you treat each other.
2. You can fully be yourselves.
If you can both let down your guards and be your complete selves – flaws, quirks, and all – it means you feel at ease, accepted, and comfortable with each other. Having to hide parts of yourself or put on a facade in your marriage is exhausting and unsustainable. When you feel loved for who you really are you’re in the most optimal position to be your best.
3. You help each other grow.
Growth comes in many forms. It could be giving each other new perspectives or teaching each other actual skills or information. It might be respectfully challenging each other’s opinions or pushing each other out of your comfort zones. Fostering growth – individually and as a couple – is a great sign you’re doing something right.
4. You laugh and have fun together.
It’s pretty straightforward, but if you’re constantly laughing and just generally having fun together, it’s a good reflection of the overall vibe of your relationship. If you’re feeling unhappy or criticized, that authentic sense of joy is going to be difficult to fake. This doesn’t mean you’re happy 100% of the time, but the low spots are more the exception than the norm.
5. You can help each other work through personal issues.
While you can’t do the work for them, you do the next best thing: provide them with the support, encouragement, and understanding they need to process, work through, and heal from personal issues and traumas. You’re also able to give them helpful perspective and advice if they ask for it.
6. You’re both comfortable bringing up issues.
With self-confidence (mentioned in #1) comes the ability to be assertive. This skill is a game-changer when it comes to addressing issues and working through conflicts in a productive way. You’re not afraid to bring things up for fear of a big blowout fight. Instead, you’ve created a dynamic that welcomes discussion and allows you to ask for what you want and need in the relationship.
7. You’re thriving in many areas of life.
When you feel confident and secure in your couple relationship, you’re better equipped to put energy into other areas of your life as well – your job, relationships with family and friends, hobbies and interests, etc. Your life feels well-rounded and you help each other maintain a good work-life balance.
8. Your personalities strike the right balance.
Whether you have similar or strikingly different personalities, all personality traits have positive and negative aspects. When you’re feeling mentally and emotionally balanced, you’re more likely to exhibit the positive sides of your personality traits. When you’re stressed or struggling, it’s common to see the less desirable sides. If you’re both in the sweet spot most of the time, or can help each other get back to it when one of you is feeling out of balance, this is a great sign.
Bringing out the best in each other might feel like it comes naturally. Or maybe it did at one time, but now it doesn’t always feel that way. That’s normal. Hopefully these signs can serve as reminders of what you’re doing right – or starting points for things to work on if you want to get back to where you once were.
It is essential to understand that love is extremely simple until and unless we mess up the things and build a complicated network all around ourselves. Know that it is all about two people doing their best in order to bring out the best in each other.
After being married for 47 years. I learned that being the best cheerleader for my husband made a difference, empowering him to be all that he can be. Always letting him know that I was on his side at all times. What affects him affects me also. It takes the two that make the US.
That’s awesome!
I always think of our relationship like playing on a doubles tennis team. You are on the same team, on the same side of the net. If I lose, my wife loses and if my wife loses, I lose. BUT, if I win or my wife wins, we both win. We are not playing a singles tennis match where we are on opposite sides of the net.
Great analogy! If we both understand that we are on the same team and are striving to win together in life and marriage, we can get through the seasons of life.
Love that Dave! Such a great example.
When the “Two become One” the best one the two become is the best of the two of them!
I have recently married to the love of my life. I was in a previous marriage for 40 years with much emotional abuse. I am still healing but learned so much about myself in the time I have been alone. I asked God to bring me a man to share my life with that has the same values as I have. He did! We have respect for each other and each others opinions, we are at the same place spiritually, we look at each other as more important than the other. In doing these things we have learned to be secure, very happy, emotionally balanced and totally confident. We keep God at the front of our relationship and our walk with Him is the most important thing we have. I cherish my husband and what he thinks and feels. There is no doubt in my mind that God has put us together and we will continue this walk as one and live very full happy lives. The boil down is “think more of your spouse than yourself” and see how great your relationship is.