6 Ways to Prep Your Marriage for the Holiday Season

When it comes to “holiday season prep,” you probably think about all the tasks and to-do’s you need to complete. Decorating, baking, shopping, cleaning, inviting, traveling – whether you do it all or just a little, it can be a hectic time. Nonetheless, a lot of effort and energy goes into it every year.

Have you ever considered how you can prep your marriage for this time of year? We know, you’re probably thinking, “Isn’t that just another thing to get done?” But hear us out. Preparing your marriage as you head into this stressful season gives you a strong foundation to lean on during what can be a relationship-straining time. Here are six ways to prep your marriage for a harmonious holiday season.

1. Make sure your communication is in top-form.

Feeling stressed out? Worried about meeting all the family obligations? Dealing with difficult emotions? Being able to communicate with each other openly about where your head is at, what you’re struggling with, or where you could use some extra help fosters connection while lightening the load for both of you. You’ll feel less alone and give each other the opportunity to offer support.

2. Get aligned on your priorities.

The holiday season can bring lots of conflicting demands and distractions. Taking time to think through what is most important for each of you can help you keep things in perspective. You might settle on one or two separate priorities, but don’t forget to consider what matters most to you as a couple and as a family of your own. Maybe you want to focus on spending quality time with family and less on attending all the peripheral parties this year, or you want to incorporate volunteering into your holidays in some way. Having a conversation about this ahead of time ensures you’re on the same page and are working towards the same goal. At the same time, this discussion will also shed light on where you may need to compromise. Which leads to…

3. Be willing to meet in the middle.

If you find some of your priorities are conflicting or misaligned, you’ll need to be open to compromise. Whether it’s whose family you’ll celebrate with or whether you should host a New Year’s Eve party, try to problem-solve as a team instead of negotiating to get what you want. Settle on a couple of options to try out that account for each of your priorities, and remember that you’re not locked into one solution forever. Agree to check in with each other afterwards to talk about what worked and what didn’t. Hold space for each other to adjust to change and to process any emotions that come with it.

4. Have the money talk.

Between gifts, travel, special activities, and the like, it’s natural for conflict to brew up if you’re not on the same page about money. Take time for a conversation about it. Even if you’re usually pretty financially like-minded, maybe you want to do things differently this holiday season. If you tend to think about money differently throughout the year, and have figured out ways to compromise, consider how you can apply those tactics to the holiday season.

5. Establish boundaries.

You’ve likely discovered that the holidays bring lots of external pressure and obligations to celebrate in a certain way and do all the things. You can try to please everyone and do it all, but you may end up feeling burnt out and like you didn’t even get to enjoy the holidays. Establishing boundaries helps protect the energy, time, resources, and priorities of your own family. Boundaries might look like limiting the time spent at a relative’s house, saying no to some invitations, or opting out of certain activities. Work together to figure out what feels right for you and your family. You may also want to make a plan for sticking to your boundaries in the moment when you’re feeling pressure or temptation to break them. Discuss where you’re comfortable stretching them, where you’re not, and how you can support each other throughout.

6. Commit to enjoying the little moments.

Often the holidays can seem like it’s all about doing things, going places, and fitting it all in. It’s easy to get caught up in the hustle and bustle. Don’t forget to be present and enjoy the quieter moments of connection with your spouse and family. Whether it’s cozy evenings at home watching your favorite holiday movies or a hand-in-hand walk around the neighborhood to look at the holiday lights, remember that these things can be just as important and meaningful as the big plans and activities. Talk about how you can help each other keep this mentality at the forefront.

Prepping your marriage for the holiday season might seem like a silly concept, but it’s really just a way to make sure you’re connected and on the same page going into what can be a tension-filled time. Being able to lean on this preparation without falling into conflict can help you make the best of the holidays, even when things get extra crazy.