Whether you participate in “spring cleaning” or prefer a monthly or year-round approach, there’s something to be said for the satisfaction that comes with clearing away the dust and clutter that builds up over time. While it’s not the most romantic way to visualize it, marriage can have it’s own grimy corners that might benefit from regular cleaning and maintenance. Here are five ways to clean up your marriage this spring.
1. Air things out.
Is there an issue that needs to be addressed or a complaint you’ve been holding back? Let each other know, respectfully of course. Keep your mind open to hearing what your partner has to say. While dwelling on past behaviors isn’t always productive, it’s helpful to talk it out if you find yourself harboring feelings of resentment. Use “I statements” to say what you need to, then focus on how you can move forward.
2. Declutter and reorganize.
Are there areas that have room for improvement? Things you want to let go of or things you want to do differently? Clutter tends to accumulate over time, and sometimes you just need to tidy up or clear away the things you no longer need. New seasons in your marriage can require shifting and realigning the way things work, whether it’s the division of household responsibilities or learning to re-prioritize quality time.
3. Work on weatherproofing.
Although, by definition, it’s not technically cleaning anything, weatherproofing is a type maintenance that is on many homeowner’s seasonal task list. When you weatherproof parts of your home, you’re preparing it to hold up to the elements – rain, wind, extreme heat, storms. Here’s the thing – your marriage will inevitably face some trying “elements” as well. The good news? You can bolster it to stand strong against this adversity, to not only endure it but come out of it stronger than ever. This might mean completing a marriage enrichment course through your church, taking an at-home relationship assessment, or seeing a professional counselor – anything that helps you proactively work on your marriage and relationship skills.
4. Designate a “throw out” pile.
Just like those shoes you’ll never wear again or that piece of decor that makes you shudder, there might be some things in your marriage that just need to go. Maybe it’s some bad communication habits that have taken root or some unproductive patterns of conflict. When you identify things that clearly do not serve your relationship in a positive way, agree to put a stop to them ASAP and do your best to eliminate them.
5. Make a to-do list.
When you’re cleaning your house, you inevitably end up with a few more things added to your to-do list, like restocking supplies or bringing all that cleared clutter to the Goodwill. The same can be applied to your relationship. Come up with 2 or 3 simple, actionable things you want to start doing in your marriage. They might be related to things you’ve discussed above, or you might simply ask each other, “What is something I can do for you in our relationship?”
Our home requires regular effort to keep it clean and comfortable. We often don’t think twice about that fact, even if we do grumble about it from time to time. Our marriage deserves that same level of dedication.
Do you perform regular maintenance on your marriage? Let us know in the comments?
Great analogy! Every time I moved (pre-marriage), I had a plan for settling into a new apartment or home in just 1 week. Boxes went in the rooms as marked: Master bedroom, kitchen, Living room, etc. Sticking with your analogy, what area or order of areas do we need to work on? I asked for 2 dates per week together. She agreed to ONE. I’m fine with that for now because we’ve not had a real date in a while. Moving out from Mom & Dad’s home, I rented a 2-bedroom place… I needed more space for my office and hobbies. We became OMF Missionaries this month and we are living in Ulaanbaatar, Mongolia in the tiniest 1 BR apartment (Formerly my mother-in-law’s apartment). Cleaning it up gradually over 3 weeks has helped by mopping floors, scraping excess grout from tiles, removing the black stains in the tub, and washing windows inside and what I can on the outside. (UB is the coldest capital in the world!) While I did most of the cleaning, my bride of 24 years is conducting counseling and finding spaces to do that counseling. Similarly, we are cleaning up our marriage by renewing our love by praying together more often and hugging more frequently AND, we’ll find new places for date nights, lunches or, as it warms, hiking up the mountains (they call them mountains, but they are just BIG hills.) Thanks for this message! God bless you.
My comment is…why aren’t there a number of comments? What’s going on with us lately? We seem to have private opinions but don’t wish to share with the masses-come on people open up your hearts and spread love. Start with communicating with one another in stop being a spectator. We grow taller in higher when we pile on one another,so bring on your thoughts and share What’s inside for the good of humanity. Especially when it comes to Keeping our marriages or relationships as strong as they can be. Stop hoarding Your thoughts in Clean out the clutter in our brains. Written in Love for my fellow human.