5 Under-Appreciated Marriage Milestones

Getting married. Having children. Buying a house. Celebrating an anniversary. Some milestones get all the hype.

Okay, these things are a pretty big deal – definitely worth celebrating. But chances are you’ve felt a sense of pride and accomplishment over other “smaller” achievements – and for good reason! Although they tend to be overshadowed by the more renowned examples, there are many under-appreciated milestones throughout marriage that have a big impact on your relationship and confidence as a couple. We’ve rounded up a few of our favorites:

Paying off debt

Getting aligned on your finances can be an accomplishment in and of itself. If you’ve managed to not only get over this hurdle but also work together to reach your goal of lowering your debt – congratulations! Whether it was paying off student loans or becoming debt-free, it probably wasn’t easy. Maybe you had to make sacrifices, forgo small luxuries and other purchases, or work extra jobs or hours. Through your commitment and discipline, you were able to accomplish something huge that will have positive reverberations into your family’s future.

Taking a family vacation

In theory, taking a vacation should be about relaxing and getting away from the daily grind. In reality, planning a big vacation can be a significant amount of work. A lot goes into making all the travel arrangements and itineraries, coordinating time off, securing childcare if necessary, and packing – not to mention paying for all of it. If you’ve managed to take a successful vacation as a married couple, give yourselves a pat on the back. Add some major bonus points after you’ve taken your first vacation with kids! It seems like such normal thing, but there are so many additional considerations when traveling with children, as well as the extra teamwork you and your spouse will need to employ to help things go smoothly.

Carrying out a new tradition

You and your spouse probably both have family traditions that you still participate in or want to carry on in your own family – and that’s great! However, there’s something to be said for creating your own traditions as a married couple or as you start your own family. Here’s the catch: you’ve got to carry it out more than once. Maybe it’s making a special holiday treat together every year or singing a silly birthday song. Once you’ve recognized that “trying something new” has turned into a full-blown tradition, give each other a high five. You’re not only creating memories, you’re also creating a sense of cohesion within your family.

Resolving a big conflict

Conflict in your marriage is bound to pop up; it’s a normal – and healthy – part of any relationship. But there comes a point when you’ll face an issue that seems more daunting than the rest. Can you get through it? You probably had to utilize your conflict resolution skills to work through it, and came out of it actually feeling stronger and more connected than before. This is definitely a milestone to be proud of and gain confidence from as you face challenges together down the road.

Navigating a transition

A big move, starting a new career, sending your youngest child off to school. Throughout your marriage, you’ll go through many life transitions, all of which have the potential to throw things a bit out of whack. Maybe it means more or less time together, a drastic change to your schedules, or a new pace of daily life. Things may have felt uncertain or chaotic for awhile, but you supported each other through it all and adapted to your new normal. If it feels like a pretty ho-hum, natural response to big changes, don’t be fooled; your ability to be flexible while adjusting to life disruptions will help your marriage last a lifetime.

The commonly-celebrated marriage milestones are sort of like the well-known landmarks of a road trip. They stick out in your memory (and make for some great photo-ops). But between those landmarks, you’ll likely experience miles of dicey conditions, unexpected detours, bumpy roads, and breathtakingly beautiful scenery. This is where the under-appreciated milestones live. They might not make it into the photo album, but they are parts of your journey to recognize, remember, and take pride in.