5 Times Patience Pays Off In Marriage

Patience is one of those things that tends to fly under the radar. Its presence can be overlooked or taken for granted, but if you’re on the receiving end of impatience, you’ll probably feel it. The truth is, whether you’re consciously putting effort into exercising patience or it comes naturally to you, it’s important. It’s not only an extension of empathy and respect, but a way to convey unconditional acceptance and commitment. Here are five times patience pays off.

Processing emotions


Some people are great at pinpointing what they’re feeling in an instant and communicating it clearly. For others, or depending on the situation, sorting out emotions can take more time. If you and your spouse are dealing with some complex emotions, give each other and yourself the time and space to sort through them, then set a time when you’ll address the topic and unpack them together. You’ll both benefit from being in a calmer, more receptive mindset and be more likely to have a productive conversation.

Resolving or discussing an issue


Sometimes, one of you just isn’t ready to talk about it. It might be because you’re still processing feelings as stated above, or it could be that you’re simply not in a great place mentally, emotionally, or physically for a productive discussion. Whatever the case, if you’re the one that’s eager to talk things out, resist the urge to push your partner to engage before they’re ready. On a related note, even if you’re both ready to discuss, it doesn’t mean things will be resolved in one conversation. Whether it’s one of those “agree to disagree” topics or something you just need more time to work through it, patience gives you space to take a step back when/if needed, instead of feeling rushed into an unsatisfying resolution.

Making a decision


If one or both of you tend to be deliberative in decision-making, you’re probably no stranger to this one. On trivial things, like where to go out to dinner or what movie to watch, the stakes are low. But when it comes to making a big decision together, patience is crucial, especially if you’re coming at it from very different perspectives. Rushing forward before you’ve both been allowed enough time to think things through is not going to help anyone in the long run. By exercising patience with each other in weighing all of the options, you can feel more confident in the decision you end up coming to and avoid regret or resentment down the road.

Navigating a transition


Life changes, big and small, can be hard. There’s often a transition period, where things feel unsettled, uncertain, or uncomfortable. Even if you’re someone that thrives on change, it can take time to get back to a point where things feel normal. You might be feeling or acting a bit out of balance or simply not at your best. Cut each other some slack and give yourselves time to adjust. Focus on keeping communication open so that you can both feel comfortable asking for each other’s help if you need it.

Working on your relationship


The fact that you’re taking steps to grow and strengthen areas of your relationship is something to take pride in. Help yourselves avoid the rut of discouragement by acknowledging the fact that you’re going to have ups and downs – progress, as well as setbacks. Commit to being patient with each other and your relationship. It’s a way to set realistic expectations for yourselves, which can give you and your partner confidence that can springboard you toward even more growth.

Patience isn’t just something you practice when you’re waiting in a long checkout line or teaching your toddler to tie their shoes. It’s a crucial quality to weave throughout your entire relationship, and although we talk about it matter-of-factly in this post, being patient all the time is no easy feat. In fact, you might find you need to give each other some grace (or be patient!) when it comes to being patient with each other. You won’t be perfect, and that’s okay, but it’ll be worth it in the end.