When it comes to feeling connected to your partner, what are the main factors that play into that? You might think of things like whether or not you’ve recently had a fight or how much quality time you’ve gotten to spend together lately. Those things certainly contribute to it. But there are also several small moments throughout every day where you have a choice: you can capitalize on the opportunity to connect – or you can let the moment pass. While your relationship certainly isn’t doomed if you occasionally choose the latter, choosing one over the other consistently is bound to have a corresponding, cumulative effect on your marriage. Here are five daily moments that can make or break your connection over time:
1.Good morning
When you wake up and get ready for the day, what kind of interactions do you have? Are you grumpy and gruff, barely speaking over your coffee or as you brush past each other in the hallway? Or do you give each other hug as you wait for the coffee to brew, asking your spouse how they slept? Even if you’re not a morning person, you can still choose to be warm despite not feeling super energetic or ready for an in-depth conversation. Initiate physical contact with a hand on their shoulder as you bring them their coffee. Tell each other about the weird dream you had. Ask each other about what they have going on for the day. All of these are small ways to start the day off feeling connected.
2.Parting ways
Do you kiss each other goodbye and exchange “I love you’s”? Or do you rush out the door without even saying goodbye? Research has shown that establishing rituals like a goodbye kiss has an overwhelmingly positive effect on marriage. Why? They create and nurture a sense of connection, shared meaning, and stability in your bond. So even if getting out the door is always chaotic, try to make it a habit to at least give each other a quick hug or kiss before you go your separate ways.
3.Checking in
Let’s be honest, your days are probably pretty busy. Most days you might not have time to call each other for a long leisurely chat. But what about a quick text? It could be wishing them luck on their presentation or even just, “I can’t wait to tell you about this funny thing that happened today.” It’s so basic, but it creates a touchpoint of connection that lets your spouse know you’re thinking of them even when you’re apart.
4.Reuniting
Are you happy to see each other, and do you show it? Do you greet each other at the door, or not even acknowledge when they get home? Do you share about your day? This is the other half of the goodbye ritual – reestablishing your connection after a day apart. It sets off the rest of your evening on a warm and positive note. Over time it’s not uncommon for this habit to fade away, that’s why it’s important to put effort and intention into maintaining a reunion ritual.
5.Good night
Do you try to go to bed around the same time? If you don’t, do you make it a point to say good night to each other? Do you brush your teeth together even if you’ve spent the evening doing your own things? Do you have share some pillow talk and some cuddling before a goodnight kiss? Those moments before hitting the hay are a great time to connect on a consistent basis.
Every time you choose to seize these moments, you’re adding a log to the fire of your connection. They build on each other, making it easier and more natural to maintain that sense of closeness. Realistically, you might not hit all of these every single day, and that’s okay. Hopefully by being aware of these moments and seeing them as opportunities to make or break your connection over time, you’ll be less likely to let them pass.
Thank you!! Those are great suggestions I know will help to continue to keep us united. God bless!!
My wife is a 10 at doing these things and has me moving up the ladder.
Beautiful, God bless you both!
These are great tips that can be challenging for couples who have not seen these practices modeled. However, whatever is done intentionally and with effort consistently will become organic over time.
True!
This is such a good reminder of what we used to do. I do not feel connected to my husband anymore. We used to talk alot now we only talk when he feels like it …SMH
Sorry to hear that, stay in prayer sister. God bless 🙏
I am praying a prayer of blessings & growth over your marriage – specifically this year, that you would begin to see a change and the growth.
Something I recently had to do with a personal situation with my husband is surrender him to God. I’d suggest taking time to surrender this to God.
These are small things that sometimes we take for granted, but just reading I have realized we had been doing this without a notice. We miss each other during the day and we get to know how each other is doing, we get involved in each other’s well-being. Thank you for sharing this, marriage is like a flower it needs all the attention, being nurtured and well taken care of, or else it dies.
Truth 👏 May the Lord continue to bless you and y’all’s union. God bless 🙏
Thank you for post. The point that holds dear to me is (2) Parting ways. No one knows when he or she will die. I plan to see my wife at the end of the work day, but something unexpected could happen (e.g. car accident) in which case that morning parting was the last event we had together. Should that happen, I would want my last words or actions (on this side of eternity) to be an expression of my love.
Buenos consejos para iniciar este 2024. Por mejores momentos este año
Excellent suggestions, especially for buy career professionals. We have established a routine of bringing each other coffee in the morning and putting the toothpaste on each other’s toothbrush each morning and each night, just little signs of love and acknowledgement reinforcing our relationship every day, no matter how the day might have gone.
thankyou for the post, very helpful
My wife and I are separated since August 2023. We took advantage of all five daily moments every day. I pray that I will have the opportunity to practice these once again.
Great article. God Bless!