4 Priorities for Busy Couples

Are you busy?

That might sound like a silly question. Nowadays, everyone is relatively busy. Sometimes it’s by choice; other times it’s just the season of life you’re in. Whether it’s with your job, family, hobbies, a side hustle, or simply staying on top of the myriad of tasks that make up daily life, there are countless things that vie for your time, attention, and energy. What effect does this have on your marriage?

The answer shouldn’t come as a surprise. When you’re extra busy, you’re spending less time together, making it easier for distance and complacency to take root. While your level of closeness will ebb and flow throughout the course of your marriage, you can prevent a bigger problem from developing by prioritizing these four things when things get extra busy:

1. Daily quality time

You might be thinking, “If we’re so busy, how will we have time for quality time every day?” But the key is quality over quantity. That means it doesn’t have to be hours – it can be as little as five or ten minutes each day, as long as it’s intentional time spent focusing on and connecting with each other. Eliminate distractions, both mental and physical, so that the time you spend is all about getting back in tune with each other in the midst of the hustle and bustle. Make it a habit or a standing “date” so that you don’t have to take time to plan it each day – you’ll be much more likely to carry it out this way.

2. Finding ways to connect when you’re apart

Sending funny texts throughout the day, calling just to check in when you have a few spare minutes, or leaving a sweet note for your spouse to find – there are countless ways to let your spouse know you’re still thinking about them even if you can’t be together. Don’t be afraid to get creative. Your hectic schedules can actually be an opportunity to add an element of fun and playfulness to your relationship. Not only that, but when you can actually connect in person, it’s like you already have a head start.

3. Communication

This should be a priority for all couples, no matter what the pace of your life. It’s particularly important for couples that are often going in different directions. You’ll want to make sure you’re communicating about the logistical stuff – what you have going on this week, who’s picking up which kid, what time the event is – to keep your household running smoothly and to prevent crossed wires and potential conflict. You also need to communicate well about the emotional, relationship-related stuff. It can be difficult finding designated time to work through conflict, talk about issues, and share problems, and even more so when you’re constantly on the go. That’s why it’s so crucial to stay “in the know” with each other, as it prevents emotional distance from taking hold.

4. The occasional break

Constantly burning the candle at both ends with no time to de-stress or decompress can be detrimental to your individual wellbeing – and your relationship. Everyone needs a break now and then to recenter and recharge. Plan out when you can take a breather together. Maybe it’s a long weekend away or a staycation. Perhaps it starts at the end of the school year when you intentionally limit scheduled activities for the whole family and focus on enjoying a slower pace of life for a few months. Figure out what works for you and your spouse and hold yourselves to it.

Being busy is pretty much unavoidable these days, whether it’s just the occasional hectic week or being in the thick of it for a few years. When the time you have to spend together is limited, the risk for growing apart is heightened. Prioritizing these four things will help you keep your marriage strong.