4 Different Ways You Support Your Spouse

Supporting your spouse seems like a given, right? Maybe your wedding vows didn’t express it in those exact words (or maybe they did), but the central tenet remains: the lifelong commitment you’ve made to each other includes supporting each other through whatever life throws your way.

When we think of supporting someone, we often associate it with them being in a weakened state or in a time of need. In marriage, that can certainly be the case. Other times, supporting your spouse can take a much more subtle form.

Are you appreciating all the ways your spouse supports you, or missing opportunities to support them? Let’s explore the wide range of ways you can support each other throughout your marriage.

• Support through hardship

  An injury or illness, loss of a loved one, unemployment, mental health issues – these are often the types of things we think of when it comes to supporting our spouse through tough times. It might be physically taking care of them or assisting them with day-to-day tasks. It could be giving them emotional support through the grieving process or helping them find a therapist or counselor. Or perhaps it’s working extra shifts or starting a side hustle to bring in some extra income until they find another job. Sometimes these situations are only temporary; other times they start out that way, but become permanent or ongoing.

• Support in an endeavor

  Whether it’s reaching a goal, trying something new, making a big change, or even sticking up for themselves, you can support your spouse in whatever they’re striving for by providing encouragement, motivation, guidance, or camaraderie. In these situations, you’re their cheerleader, coach, biggest fan, and hype man all rolled into one. You probably do this for each other on a daily basis without even realizing it, cheering each other on through the day-to-day grind. But there also might be times when one of you is working toward something out of the ordinary, and the other person amps up their supportiveness to match.

• Support during a crisis or problem

  A family emergency. A sticky situation at work. A flat tire. Sometimes your spouse comes to you in the midst of unfavorable circumstances in need of your support. Again, this can take many different forms, from holding down the fort at home so you can deal with family stuff, to being a listening ear, to talking them through changing that tire. Sometimes in these situations your support means helping to solve the problem or being flexible enough to provide “back up” where it’s needed. Other times a solution isn’t what your partner wants, needs, or is ready for. Instead, support might mean hearing them out while they vent or offering empathy and understanding.

• Support in relationships

  This is one of the more subtle ways that spouses support one another. When you get married, your relationship with your spouse is often the center of your world. But in order to have a well-balanced relationship, you need to nurture other relationships in your life, too. Unfortunately, it’s not unusual to find that it requires more effort and intention to maintain outside friendships as everyone gets busy with their own lives. Having a partner support you in this effort – versus making you feel guilty or making it more difficult – can make all the difference. And this isn’t limited to friendships. Relationships with other family members, and even as parents with your own children, can be built and strengthened with the help of a supportive spouse.

Supporting your spouse, and vice versa, seems pretty matter-of-fact. What we may not always realize is that this support can look very different depending on the situation. Learning to recognize all the different forms it comes in can help you both appreciate and support each other better.